Thursday, December 16, 2010

i am sorry

I'm not trying to be mean.
I'm sorry but never did I expect you to fall for me so soon.
You came at the wrong time.
I've not recovered yet.
My heart is not ready yet.
I'm sorry I can't force my heart to love you when I'm still in love with the previous one.
I'm sorry its not that easy for me to let go of these feelings.
I don't wanna have to love you when I'm not in love.
I don't want to hurt you like that.
Its obvious how much you're putting hopes on me.
But its killing me more.

Pls, forgive me.
You know, when it comes it comes.
We just don't have to rush things, do we?

And you know, friendship lasts forever.
Trust me on that.

Again, I'm so sorry.
I hope we're cool

Monday, November 29, 2010

Forbidden Love

Gosh it's hard..
God knows how much I'm suffering with these mixed feelings.
Do you even know how much it hurts?
How much it's killing me inside..
To love someone that I'm not supposed to love.
To miss someone that I'm not supposed to miss.
To think of someone I shouldn't think about.

I wish I could stop these feelings.
I shouldn't love him, I shouldn't miss him.
I hate him.

But I couldn't seem to find a way to get rid of all the feelings I have for him.

Despite all of these loving and missing, I'm pretty damn sure that he don't deserve me.
He can never be a permanent resident in my heart and mind.
He needs to go, leave my heart and mind.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Busy vee

Okay so what's going on around me.

There goes my weekend handling the Bijou Bazaar.
At the same time I'm applying for jobs, here and there.

I'm still in Damansara, crashing at one of my BFF's place.
Will be having some other stuffs to handle in these couple of days here, since I don't wanna have to go back and forth from my place, and here I'll be again..

My berry is still in the 'ward'.
If they messed up with my berry issues, I'm definitely gonna kill them..
I mean the people who's in charged to fix it..

When everything here is settled, I gotta get back to Nilai since we'll be moving to a new place.
And mom has given me the task to paint the house, and not just the house, some wooden cupboards, closets and all.
Can't wait. Seriously, I've already had some ideas on how to paint it, or even giving some touch of arts to those stuffs.. Jyeah!!!

But simply put, it's been a busy month for me!

:))

If I were to be the bad one,
how come I'm gaining more friends while you're losing one by one of them?

Monday, November 22, 2010

Current addiction.



Originally by Bruno Mars.

Nak kahwin tak nak kahwin

Sheeeeeesh.
2 days more, and I'm actually gonna be a year older.
It's not like I'm rushing things, but I don't know why did the issue of marriage sorta popped into my mind.

I'm single.

23 years old, and single.
That's the best part!
So cherish the moment, Sabrina.

Heyyyy

Hey guys..
I'm here in KL since Friday night...
Was assigned to help Lisz at Bijou Bazaar which was helt at Solaris Dutamas during the weekend.
And I had so much fun at the bazaar, seriously.

Bought some nice stuffs, met some nice people..
Business was good, Alhamdulillah..

Think I might share some photos that I took at the bazaar later,okay?

That's all for now.
Y'all be safe! Toodles

Monday, November 15, 2010

Geng Jahat

Hahaha.

Tiba tiba aku rasa bangga sebab kawan dengan korang.
Walaupun kadang2 aku mcm nak pitam fikir kenapa Tuhan lahirkan manusia mcm korang ni lebih2 lagi Keril dan Sani.

Tapi aku faham, korang istimewa.

Lagi baik aku jadi gila berkawan dengan org yg lawak gila daripada aku jadi gila kawan dengan orang yang busuk hati gila.

Memang tak dapat dinafikan, aku lagi preferrrr bercampur dengan abang abang bro mcm mereka ni drpd akak2 dan adik2 wanita yang majoritinya....... *tooooot* talian terhenti.

Katak dalam perut

Makkk aihhh...
Banyak bunyik plakkkk...
Pijak tengkuk kau nak tak?

Suruh gi masak bagi alasan dapur tu tinggi plak.
Loncat2 aje la.
Ke kau nak aku masak kau and bagi kau makan diri kau sendiri?

Lapar la.
Menyesal tak beli aquarium.
Tak best rupanya bela katak dalam perut.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Humanity?

People are turning into?

I been thru quite a number of situations where I got super surprised by what people could actually do to prove that they don't have any humanity value in them.

Cruelty.

He's here.

Sometimes, we just don't need a man to love us.
Just one who can be a good listener to us, one who will keep confronting us that we'll be fine, and whom we could count on, to feel protected.

Love ain't necessary..

You just know, that he will be there.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Further up

Yes Sabrina, no point of living in the past...
Hidup harus maju ke hadapan, bukan mundur ke belakang.

We move forward, not backwards.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Determination.

Yes no one ever said that life is easy..
I've been thru life for almost 23 years now, and indeed, I never find life easy to deal with.
Been thru ups and downs- mostly downs.
But like I always said, I am the kinda person who strongly believes in blessings in disguise.

Along the way, I met all kinds of faces, all kinds of obstacles.
Yet I'm still here, living my life as it is.
Never give up hopes, and keep improving to be better.
Get myself back up from my falls.
Eventhough most of of the times I need to crawl, but hey everything starts from below, no?

But this is just a reminder for myself, to never ever give up hopes.
Gain more self confidence.
And try not to do things just to please others rather than pleasing my own self.
Since I just realized that that's what I've been doing all this while.
It is indeed so true when they said, the biggest failure in life is trying to please people.
You can never force people to like u, to love u, to look up to you.
Just be yourself, do what you think is best for yourself.
It's better to feel satisfied and celebrate your own victory.
Don't let people push you down.
Words can be daggers, and that's what they're good at.
Playing with words to push you down.
So let them be.
Live your life, Sabrina.
You have a verrrrryyyy long way to go.
Keep your head up, and never lose faith, and keep clinging to your pride.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Current Target.


Oh DC5 Type R.
Insya'Allah...
Dengan hasil titik peluh sendiri... Amin amin yarabbal'alamin..

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Hummegra?

"I'm gonna work harder for an integra.."

but...


sampai mati la wa keje for this!
Chhhrrrrrrommmmmmme!!!!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Stressed out?

They said, working in my current working place is stressful.
I know, and I admit that as the truth.
But as I tried to think as wisely as I can, and after a couple of jobs I had before, I tend to think that everywhere have issues..
And if I ran from one, I'll keep running from others as well.
So until when will I be running here and there, and not sticking to one right?
That'd be so immature and unprofessional.

And so I've decided to try my super, very very best to stick with my current job and just go thru whatever that might come around soon or maybe later.
I must have faith and confidence in myself.
If I don't have confidence in myself, how can I expect others to have confidence in me, no?

But still, the image of a vacation and a blue wide ocean keeps on running in my head.
:)
Just a couple of days off from work and get that image turned into a reality might be enough for now.
Seriously.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Update

I've been superrrr busy, yes!!!!
My raya- I've been given 3 days off from work.
I managed to spend some time with both family and friends, Alhamdulillah.

First day of raya, for the first time EVER, I got up at 11am. They said they tried to wake me up but I got mad and my aunt even caught a video of me sleeping and scolding them in my sleep. Seriouslyyyy.. It never happened before! And plus hey it's raya.. There's alwaysss a way to wake me up! Pour me with cold water, hot water, throw rocks at me or whatever!! It's Hari Raya!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Monday, August 30, 2010

Friday, August 27, 2010

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Stop & Stare

Why do we sleep in the mosque, but stay awake through a 2 hours movie? Why is it so hard to talk about Allah, but so easy to talk about sex? Why are we so bored when we read the Qu'ran, but find it easy to read Playboy? Why is it so easy to ignore a Godly MySpace bulletin, yet we repost the nasty ones?
Why are mosques getting smaller, but bars and clubs are growing? Think about it, are you going to repost this? Are you going to ignore it, cause you think you'll get laughed at? Allah says:"If you think of me in your heart, I will think of you in mine. If you mention me to another person, I will mention you to one of my angels. If you talk of me amongst a gathering of people, I will talk of you amongst a gathering of angels.

"LAELAHA ELLA ANTASUBHANAKA ENNIKUNTU MINAZ ZWALIMIN".

Here is a test: if u love Allah, send this to ten people and see what He does for u tonight...

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Happy Fasting



SALAM RAMADHAN

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Cuts.

I knew it's gonna be hard.
But never did I expected it to be this hard and painful..


Hey, Happy Fasting to all you Muslim's friends and visitors.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Stucked.

i miss you.
and i'm sorry

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

It Ain't Easy

Tiredness.

Now I know how hard it is to work for a living.
When parts of my body starts aching, and before saya start complaining and all, tersedar sekejap yang segala penat lelah dan sakit sakit badan ni semua akan membuahkan hasil.. The answer is, mencari rezeki halal to go on with my life..
Untuk kurangkan beban papa and mama, bila dah stabil, diorang tak perlu lagi tanggung saya kerana anak bongsu mereka dah dewasa, dah bekerja, sedang dan Insya'Allah takkan putus asa untuk belajar bersikap bertanggungjawab dan berdikari..

For me, it's a lil hard. Some said I'm manjaaa...
I'm not independent.. Manja? Couldn't agree with that yet.
Not independent? Couldn't agree more with that.
It's a fact, I admit. I'm trying to get used to take some things seriously rather than main bohh aje and then terbabas, buat muka kesian..

But still, I think it's normal kot.
Nobody was borned perfect. People change as days go by kan..
Good to bad, bad to good, bad to worst.. People change..
Some people doesn't take long, while some- still crawling.
I'm prolly one of the people who's still crawling- to be a better person.
And to me, it's only the matter of time..

I ain't no angel or anything, never will be.
Saya hanya seorang lagi hamba Allah seperti anda anda semua..
Belum lagi laksanakan tanggungjawab sebagai seorang wanita Islam, anak yang baik, adik, cucu, anak buah yang baik.. Terlalu banyak tanggungjawab yang perlu dilaksanakan.
I still make mistakes.
And still, deep down, I'm trying to change things around me.
Siapa nak hidup tanpa haluan yang tepat dan baik kan?

Hopefully, everyone of us will have enough time to change and leave this world with such calmness.. Insya'Allah.. Amin amin yarabbal'alamin.

Just a random post. Just my 2cents. :)

Be safe people. Toodles!
WS.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Faith

True..
God can change fate in a split second.
But no matter how hard it gets, I will keep reminding myself that He can never be wrong..
And that everything happens for a reason.
Blessings in disguise; no matter how bad the situation gets, something good must be there right ahead of us.
To reach all that good things, all that we gotta do is just be strong, keep our heads up high and face everything with lots of patience here in our hearts.

Be thankful. Be patient. Be strong. Be wise. Never back down

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

f.u!

why did u have to do it?
i do not wished to know about anyone being hurt,.
but it's already too late now, no?

right now i just hate you!

for destroying everything. thanks tho

.



final goodbye.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

ush, usherrr


The same issue on my FB and Twitter, blessing in disguise.
I was saying about how sucky it is to be back in the airport, but at least I got to meet Usher without the noise, without people pushing and crashing each other..
I don't have to struggle or jump to catch just a glimpse of him..



And, I don't have to spend my money on any ticket! :)

Friday, July 2, 2010

rinFINduFU!

Silence of the black sheep.

Oh heyyyy....
God!! Where on earth have I beeeeen...

It's been quite some time since I posted my last post down there...
And yahhhh I do miss all of yo
u :)

So err...
My life's been okay...

Some things happened.
Those good and bad ones...
Well I guess, as a human being we do need those to actually live our normal lives, don't we?
But Alhamdulillah, without those bad things, I don't think I'll be as strong as I am today..
*giggles*

By the way...

I'm sorta having some issues with....
Hm... with the fact that I'm reallyyyy as old as my age..
Hahaha...

I mean, how fast is that..

Errrrrr....
Mommyy.. Do I actually HAVE TO get marrrrrrieddddd sooon????????



Owwwwwkayyyy now that actually did freaked me out a lil'..
Bahahahha..


So what's next?
Marriage, parenthood, get old, get sick.... and die..


Now that's life, innit?
Hee..

And there!
Just another silly post by me!

Just to keep my blog updated.. ;)

So yah, be safe where ever you are, people!


Hugs!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Misery.

When my life seems to be meaningless...
I have been wasting a lot, a lot of my time going out and about, searching for something or maybe things that I'm not even sure what it is, or what they are.

Why do I often have these feelings?

- Left out
- Lost
- Miserable
- Lonely
- Upset
- Devastated
- Stressful

With all those feelings mixed up in me, I could act and behave like a demented woman at times.
I could actually be laughing and 3 minutes after that I could be crying all of a sudden.

Meaningless= when every single thing I do seems to go wrong, even thinking of doing what I want to do could make me feel it's allllll gonna go wrong!

Breathe Sabrina...
Breathe........

It's not about me being jobless- I've start searching for jobs- enough with my so-called holiday.
It's not about me being single- I survived this whole 10 months- nothing seems to be a problem; in fact I'm feeling way better compared to the last time I was in a relationship.

It's just not all that.

It's something.
Something that I need to get a clearer view of.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

To do.

Salams, greetings everyone..
:)
I just feel like blogging, tak sure nak post pasal apa..
But then yah, I'm still jobless..
Saya telah selamat dan dengan rasminya menjadi penganggur tegar for a few months already..
It's not that I feel great about it, but rasanya semua benda jadi ada sebab kan?
And not that I enjoy being stuck at home or going here and there tanpa arah tuju..
I do miss those working days..
From my retail job at Topshop, and being a hostess at some of the first class/business class airport lounges in KLIA.
I miss thinking what to wear everyday to work during those days in Topshop..
I miss my hostess uniform..
And most of all, of course I do miss all my ex-colleagues from both places.
Missing all the fun, the love, duties, and ALL.

Why am I jobless?
Hmm. Selepas berfikir dan berfikir, saya temui jawapan nya iaitu, saya tak ada hati nak bekerja. I mean, bukan sekarang..
And saya pun tahu memang tak best la kalau kerja for a few months, and then rasa dah tak ada hati and chow..
Oh no, bukan saya maksudkan yang saya nak menganggur aje, and harap parents saya tanggung saya lagi.
It's just that, I think I do have some dreams to achieve.
I'm more interested to continue my studies, and live life as a student as long as I can..
I mean, I still have a very long way to go, no?
So what's the rush.
I'm not even getting married or anything, I don't even have time to actually find myself a bf and all.

So yah...
I wanna continue my studies!
I wanna work on assignments and all..

It's never too late right...

Insya'Allah.
Everything's gonna be okay..
It's not like I wanna be selfish or anything, but I do agree with some people who has been telling me to do what I want, follow my heart, do what I think is best for myself.

I guess I don't mind trying.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Note to S _ L _

A friend of mine called me up and let a lil bit of her heart out today.
She told me that someone important to her just asked her this, "Apa benda yang tak pakai dalam rumah ni?"
She wished that she could reply by saying, "Me.."
She said she already felt like an UNWANTED.
She's been keeping a whole lot of pain bottled up inside her.
I wished I could tell her stuffs to cheer her up and comfort her.
But no I didn't.

It must be hard.
It must have been hard for her..
It's like adding up more bruises to her heart.

Sigh.

Be strong, my dearest.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

hear. me. out.

Do you know that one, single word can actually cut someone deeply?
Do you even know that punishing a soul in silence is way suffering than beating the hell out of them?

Words can be daggers.
Tell me about it.

Why are you speaking to me like we’re total strangers?
Why are you treating me like we’re total strangers?
Why does it look like we’re already used of being so-called strangers?
Am I really a stranger to you?
If so, why can’t you just open up to me rather than leave me questioning myself for years?
If there shouldn’t be a bond between us, why didn’t you just get rid of me ever since I existed in your life?
If we are here for a bond, then why can’t I feel it?
If you expect me to be like some other people, why can’t you be like some other people?

But why do we have to expect someone to be another person?
Why do we have to live in hypocrisy?
Or exactly, why do I have to be dragged into another’s life which is filled with hypocrisy?

Why are you making me feel like I am here for no reason at all?
There was just a very dark past behind my existence?
You got me crowded with my own conclusions.

It’s no fun at all.
Forcing myself not to cry over my own conclusions.
Forcing myself not to believe any of those conclusions.

But fact is, still..
The feeling is real.
And I ain’t no superhuman.

I can be weak at times.
And lately, I got weak very easily.

Is there anyone listening?
Is there anyone who could talk to you and make you understand before it’s too late?

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

He's now officially 23 yrs old :)

April 14th already..
:)
Happy Birthday, my love.



Happy 23rd Birthday...

And for the 8th year, my most important wish, is for you to be placed among all the good people that Allah has selected, there in heaven.
I hope you're right there, smiling down on me.
Like what you told me once before you went away, even after you die, you will always be with me, right?
And I believe you till this very second.

I wonder; if you're still around, will you be right here with me, on this birthday of yours?
I wish you are, you know :) .
But hey, no..
It's all fated this way..
Allah loves you more.. So he took you back to the place where you belong.
So I know, I can only accept it as it is.
I can only pray for you, keep praying for your happiness there.
And it's gonna be so wrong for me to blame fate.
Because Allah can never be wrong.
Whatever happened, He always have His own reasons and answers for all my "WHY'S", I know.

You're 23 years old now, baby..
And I love you for another age of your life, eversince you were 15.
Eversince that day you called me your love.

And baby I swear, I have never ever stopped loving you till now, 8 years already.
Never did I get you off my mind for a single day..
Those memories we had 8 years ago, all fresh in my mind.
All the feelings you left for me, all fresh in my heart.

And everytime, I remind myself never to missed to recite an Al-Fatihah for you.

Rest in peace, Faizal..
Again, Happy 23rd Birthday, L ♥ ve..
I'll see you tomorrow morning, alright sayang..
And as usual, some fresh flowers will be there, waiting for you okay??

Hug me with the wind, tell me you're always around.
I miss you, and
I love you. I love you. I love you.

AL - FATIHAH.
Mohamad Faizal Bin Hassan
14.04.1987 - 31.08.2002

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Snapped.

How time flies..
So fast that I tend to missed the fact that I'm getting older.. Hee..
Being 23 in a few months time is not the fact that I could laugh at, or make jokes on..
Serious, macam agak terkejut bila terfikir yang saya dah hampir berusia 23 tahun.
Omg tua kan.. Haha.. Not a problem pun, but still an issue for me to get worried of.
I mean, I kinda think that I need to be more serious on life already..
Take things more seriously, such as my work, my attitude, my habit, my LIFE - all that relates to my own future.
Sampai bila nak macam ni? Not that saya ni terlalu menyimpang or anything, but rasanya semua orang berubah kan? To better or worst. But of course I'm heading for the better. We changed. During one after another stage of life.
Learn to deal with things wisely. Be WISER.

While thinking about how fast the time flies and all, a smile is now carved on my face. Thinking that I still have my fellow bestfriends around me.
Those who have been together with me through thick and thin.. Those who have been here with me when I need shoulders to cry on, those who will be all ears when I need to be listened to, and there were like so many good and bad moments that we been thru together- as BESTFRIENDS.

My Bestfriends?
They are a bunch of people that had successfully owned my trust. My love. My loyalty. My sincerity, and there are just lots and lots of things that I share with these special people.

God tested us with numerous of obsticles here and there, now and then.. Salah faham, hamba-hamba Allah yang datang dan cuba melaga lagakan kita, macam macam dugaan.. Tapi kuasa Tuhan kan, sekarang kita still boleh gelak terbarai dan nangis sama sama. Yes, realizing that I still have them at this very moment, still, all I'm able to say is Alhamdulillah.. I feel so blessed and thankful. Thank You, God.

To my fellow besties;
Tuhan je tahu macam mana wa sayang sama lu orang! :)
I'd just like to take this opportunity to write all this sementara aku masih berupaya, berdaya, dan bernafas, since ajal tak mengira waktu, tarikh, usia dan sebagainya kan :) True what, death can come at any time, at any way...
So yah, those times aku kenal each one of you dulu dulu- semuaaa memang confirm aku takkan lupa!
Yang kenal during school days, dekat tuition class, college days, and 'the apartment' days.
Bila fikir balik, they're kinda amazing. I mean masa, tempat, and cara kita semua kenal each other. Tak kira la semua tuh, but for now, I need y'all to know that y'all are one of the greatest, bestest things in my life, right after God and my family.

And there's just nothing more that I could ask from all of you. Sumpah, aku tak mintak lebih- bukan hadiah, bukan duit atau apa2 yang berunsurkan harta benda.. But just one, stick with me. At least try, try to stick with me as long as you can. I don't need y'all to tell me all your secrets. I don't need y'all to tell me every, single thing.. Just stick with me.

Based on apa yang pernah jadi, aku harap tak ada lagi parasite atau hamba-hamba Allah yang berhati busuk yang datang. But I learnt my lesson, and hopefully, if any of you been told that I've been bitching you behind your backs, or anything like that ever happens again, just PLEASE, PLEASE do refer to me before you take any action. I been thru that, remember? In the end, semuanya berpunca dari FITNAH. I don't wanna lose any of you just because of some rumors, or some bitch who will come and mess with us.


Ah sheesh, whatever- what's done is done, true. But I'd do anything to avoid history repeat itself. I do not wish to feel the pain again. The rage, anger, and all the bad feelings. I do not wish to have an enemy in my life.

And if ada yang aku buat salah, yang aku tak perasan and buat korang terasa hati or kecewa or sakit hati or apa apa lah yang tak best, FORGIVE ME FOR BEING SO DUMB AND A BIG FOOL for not noticing my own wrongs, and if benda tu effect our friendship, please excuse my dumbness and please, let me know.

I'm sure there will be more and more tests and obstacles waiting ahead of us, one or two might get our bond of frienship shattered, but stick together with me, and together we fight for our friendship. After all, it's all in God's hands. I can only pray for us, and try all I can to protect our friendship, to protect each one of you. And I can only do all that by having y'all together with me.

Sometimes, I do wish I could do more and more to please all of you. I wish that I would never, ever missed to get you expensive birthday gifts every year, I wish I could be there, right next to you EVERY SINGLE TIME I heard that you're not doing okay, you just got your heart broken, you're sick,- when you're feeling low, when you feel like the world just came crashing on your shoulder. During EVERY, bad and dull moments- I wish I can be with you and lend you my shoulders for you to cry on, and wipe away your tears, and always have something to say or do to cheer you up.

But for now, all that I'm so sure I have for y'all is my loyalty, my love, my concern, my honesty and my sincerity..

Honestly, God can take anything away from my life- but not my family, my bestfriends, and the people I love. I know death isn't something we could plan on and avoid. But trust me, death, or anything that's gonna set me apart from the people I love- will surely hurt me so badly. I'm sure I'd be dead to feelings. At least for a period of time.

P/S: Eventhough lately I keep saying that I don't wanna get married and all, but aku still ingat angan2 kita nak pergi shopping mall, and doing some other activities together when we're all married- shop for baby clothes and things for OUR OWN babies together (during our pregnancy)! Go to the market together sometimes, gym and all.. :) Yah, I kinda like those so-called plans, or angan angan, or whatever. ;P




Saturday, March 20, 2010

My 3rd Baby

Heyyy!!!
Yah I'm still alive! Still rockin' and kickin' it ;P
There's not much stuffs for me to blog about actually..

Oh but yah, I found another happiness. =)
My third so-called adopted baby..

The Baby-With-No-Name-YET down here hahaha..
She was borned healthily on March 11th, Alhamdulillah..
I fell so much in love with her eversince I first laid my eyes on her.
Yah all those baby smells, the cute soft voice she made, the superrr adorable little fingers- everyyything about her!

Okay so there, my new found happinessss yeyyy
;P





Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Better Not To.

Heyyyyy!
I'm here, yahhhh I'm blogging..
I've been kinda busy lately--- hahahhaha nahhhh seriously, I been busy catching up with my good friends here in M Town..

What's new...
Oh the hair, not a new issue to me ;)
Yah, hello I'm Sabrina the girl with the short hair.. :P

More current updates?
Hm..
I'm not so sure how to put my current feelings into words actually.
I'm not even sure if it's a bad or a good thing..

But, I think I'm starting to feel this one particular feeling that I've been trying so hard to avoid.

Okay.
See, it's hard! :D



He has always, always, ALWAYS been there for me.
Thru good and bad times.
He will do or atleast try his very very best to provide anything I need.

But I can't fall in love with him or have the same exact feeling that he has for me.

Because.... He's my bestfriend...... Maybe I did, accidentally fall for him. But still, it's going nowhere. I don't mind losing a lover, but a bestfriend- no, I won't take that risk- not again.
Been there, done that. And it sucks! Hahaha..

I'm not actually in the mood to post anything, but I kinda forced myself.

Love is a feeling that I'm trying to avoid.
It's too soon for me to get involve in that thing called love.
Pffft hahahaha..

See ya!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Congrats!

*chants* i like my new haircut. i like my new haircut. i like my new haircut......

eventhoughhhhh neverrrr did i intended to cut it this shortttt.. This is what we called, "si bijakkk yanggg malangggg".

Tahniah Sabrina.

Mushroom head wannabe or gonna be?

Alright something bad happened to meee...

I don't know what actually happened or how did I actually took a pair of scissors and chopped off my long hair that almost reached my backside when I checked on it earlier yesterday..
Until last night, yahhh last night..
I got a lil bored, and thought of trimming my hair on my own--- justtt a lil..
But little by little, the hair that almost reached the backside was chopped til shoulder length.
Smart smart Sabrina :)

I know it's too late to regret. And it's lame to be calling upon a fairy god mother.

So I guess I'll settled with an appointment with my hairdressers, an urgent one! Tomorrow!
Get them to fix my hair. Short it's gonna be still, but as long as I don't look like a retard like how I look right now.
I'm trying to avoid myself from keep thinking what happened, keep wishing this never happened or anything.. I'm just gonna take it as it is.
My hair will grow sooner or later.
Things happened.

Smile Sabrina, smile...

It's not like it's the first time that you grabbed a pair of scissors and start chopping off ur hair.
Lol.

It;s just hair anyways lol...

Friday, February 19, 2010

Black hearts and dark nights.

You see.
You saw.
You listen.
You heard.
And you judge.

Are you God?

You hate.
You flipped.
You make up rumors.
You brought up shit.
I just sit here and watch.

I don't judge.
I don't punish.
Because I ain't no God.

It's as simple as that.

Got it. U got me.

I couldn't care less if you callin me names.
I couldn't care less if you judgin' me and think that I'm a sympathy and attention seeker.
I couldn't care less if you wanna be one of my haters.

What can I do?
Being someone I am not is just so not me.
No matter how weak I can be, how down I may feel like, holding tight to my own self principles will be my one and only main priority.

History may keep haunting me.
Past loves may have got me feeling all distracted at times.
Current mess may be adding up here and there, but here I am..
Still breathing.
Not giving an inch of space for you to cut me even more.

New faces with new hearts that I am not familiar with.
Expectations so high that it's hard for me to measure.
My own expectations went so high till I fall again back on the ground.
As expected.

It's too sooon.
Too soon for me to expect more.
Too soon for me to even think to crack a sincere smile.

Got the answer.
And I've got no other options other than accepting all that's already written.
Crystal clear.
I got it.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

A river.

One drop.
Another one, and comes another one drop of it.

I inhaled, and I exhaled..

Subhanallah........

Just like my tear drops, one after another mess came up and add up those that's already bugging me all this while.

Thank you God.
I believe there must be blessings behind all these.
Thank You, for all this current pain, I know I'm getting stronger each day.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

2nd Day











On the 2nd day in JB, I missed the breakfast.. But I got to joined everyone during our brunch by the pool and also the pool party, and yes not to forget... we also had our first yee sang for this year by the pool! 3 sets of yee sangs for all of us..


After the pool party, everyone went up to their rooms, some were hanging out at Aunty Munah's office.. While me and Baby, we conquered the whole pool.. We went for an almost 2 hours swim- seriously just the 2 of us.. We had such a pleasant time floating while staring at the clouds and the beautiful view of the sky above us.

Then we went back to the hotel, met some cousins who were ready to go back home.. While Aunty Munah told us to extend our stay since we still have another 1 day off from work. So after all the cousins left, back to Singapore and KL,.. The three of us stayed in the hotel room, dropped by Aunty's place.. And went to Danga Bay for their delicious tauhu bakar! LOL.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Aunty & Nieces/Nephews Reunion 2010



It was a blast!!!

I spent 3 days and 2 nights at Aunty Munah's hotel. The first night was awesome! Our retro night went smoothly as planned! We had lots and lotss of great pictures, which I got tired uploading- haha yahhh they're alot!!!


I went to JB with my eldest sis and my bff, Bee. We got stucked for 2 hours in the bad traffic at the highway around Nilai to Seremban area. There was a major accident or something. We arrived quite late in JB, and spent the night at Setia Tropika, Uncle Zai's place. Aunty Yan wasn't around, but my grandmom and grand aunt were there, and I got to meet my cute baby cousins Adam Syah and Ammar Syah! Geramm!! We had our late dinner with them, and crashed!


The next day, we drove to M Suites, and was told to collect our hotel room access cards from the front desk. Refreshed ourselves, changed.. And then my cousin Amnie and their driver picked us up from the hotel and dropped us off at City Square for our last minute shopping.


After a few hours at the mall, the driver picked us up and sent us back to the hotel, and all my cousins were already there, waiting for us at the hotel's dining room while they were having their hi tea.


After the hi tea, some went to the ballroom, and did rehearsal, soundchecks and all. While some went up to the rooms and get ready for the event.


Everyone looked good that night! I became a hippie girl. LOL I love it. We had the opening speech from our Aunt. And our Jakarta cousin, Kak Yati. There was a montage of Aunty Munah, and all of us... And then there were 2 games. Putting makeups on 2 of our male cousins, and one bf of a cousin.. All 3 of them! It was so hillarious looking at them! Especially when they saw each others' faces after we finished putting the makeups on their faces. The second one was eating cakes with blindfolded eyes. LOL.

And there were performances from 3 drag queens that our Aunt invited. LOL . It was a blast seriously. Afterparty: we got the ballroom lights dimmed, and started to dance to the music.. And ended up sipping coffee at one table, all of us.. Chit chatting, catchin' up.. :)


Oh btw. I'll share more later ok.
Last but not least, thank you, Aunty Munah.. For organizing such an awesome event. And.. Alhamdulillah we arrived safely back home, and had such an awesome time while in JB.


Regards.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Ugly Facts.

I don't know if you people noticed this; but I think rich people are getting richer, while the poor ones are getting poorer to the poorest!

I decided to post this based on what happened earlier today at my workplace.
Something got me snapped back into reality and make me voiced it out to one of my bosses. I told him the same thing; bout the rich getting richer and all.

Don't you think it's kinda funny..
Rich people are getting more and more privileges.
For example, those first class and business class airline lounges.
Only those who's flying business and first class are entitled to enter the lounge.
And for those flying economy, they must have this Gold card that people can only get if they travels alot, and it has to be started from a silver one. All those only BIG money can get.

So rich people get to eat for free at lounges. While some poor people, have to pay to eat. And most of the restaurants in the airport, they're like costly!

To be realllllyy honest, okay I might get fired if those bigger bosses of mine checked this post, but SOMETIMES, I do simply let people enter the lounge- those that were not entitled to be in there, obviously. It's just fooood~ Why be so stingy.

I think some rules have got to be changed!

It's not even close to fair!
Less fortunate people deserves more privilege and attentions!
But people are busy eyeing on tycoons, moguls and all.

Everyday, there are gossips on celebrities, models, and big fishes!
Why not switch all those attentions to the less fortunates?
Attention, and figure out ways to help them survive in this cold world?
Life's not fair to everyone, to me, to people like us.
But what about them?
It might be worst.
Has anyone ever think about it?

Y'all are busy thinking of politics, manicures pedicures, designer handbags and dresses, football matches- all on the news.
The drama's- seriously, the TV news nowadays are mostly talking bout dramas.

Some people out there deserves more attention.
And for myself too, doing my part as another human being, I'm thinking of ways to earn more, and share with some people who deserves better.
Don't snapped on this, please.
It's just my two cents.

Sometimes, I felt like it hurts being me.
But looking at them, it hurts even more than the burdens that I'm carrying.

Take a walk along the streets that you never wished you stepped into.
Look at those people along the street.
One who's feeding their kids with others' leftovers.
One who's holding a cup, begging for some pennys that you refused to give as if they're asking you for an RM5000. One with only a pair of leg. Look deep into their eyes.
And do you think the feeling that you got while looking at them is exactly how they're feeling? There's no need to try to dig deep down inside their hearts.
Even with just a gaze, can you feel how I felt?

I might not be the best of human beings.
But day after day, one after another issue changed my mentality.
Little by little.

Believe it or not, it's obvious nowadays, people are doing charity to gain more in return. Such as more attention, more money, more press conferences, more fames.

Is there at least a lil bit of sincerity left here nowadays? I wonder.
Sorry.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

RWMF 2010

I guess it's still too soooon to be talking bout the event.
But for RWMF you just havvvvve to rush before you end up missing some good things and all..
In fact, for this upcoming RWMF, my uncle and his wife will be going too..
They already booked their ticket.
It was cheap when they booked theirs..
But just a few secs after I told them to add another booking for me, the price actually got marked up and I was like WTH?!!

It was superr cheap earlier!
Sheeesh..

Butchyeah, heard that it might be marked down again sooner or later.

This time, me and my friends are planning to save our budgets and all so we are considering on being a bunch of backpackers in the middle of Kuching town.
It's not a big deal if we end up camping around the Waterfront area or along the Damai Santubong beach, whoooo caressss...
But I'm still hoping for Ejan to make it there, I love her place in Kuching!
Going on a sampan that costs only 50cents!

I just don't wanna miss anymore performances and also the 1st day workshops and all.
Last year, I missed watching the Ewah Bulan one-sided percussion, Akasha, Moana & The Tribe and moreee great performances!
I so don't want history to repeat itself again! LOL
But the performance from the Morocco Troupe was kinda good too..
And the Mayang Ulek performed by some Kelantanese lady and the musicians actually gave us goosebumps!
With her voice and all..
In the middle of the forest some more..
LOL.

But it was fun, mud fest!!

So people, if you've never been to RWMF before, seriously it is some kinda not-to-miss event. Bring your friends, families..
It's a good vacation too..
Kuching Sarawak is a niiice place to chill your mind as well!

Mee kolok the best! Cheap and dap-ooooo!!!!

Better book your flight tickets and hotels or whatsoever ASAP!
See you there!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Fluvial.

Things are flowing as normally and smoothly so far..

Myself, I been doing alotta thinking and talking with some close friends.
Not gossips or whatever but plans that needs real actions.
I have to agree with so much things that they've got to say about me.
Lisz even tried this neurology thingy and did some sorta personality test for me.
And I can't seemed to deny most of the things that she said from the result of the test.
Seriously. Co-incidence it might be, but since I think they are more to facts, or some are even ugly truths about me, I tend to figure out that something must be done.
This is a sign of growing up or something I don't know.
Even for the ugly truths, I actually felt more relieved thinking that I've got to take actions and step forward and change things that needs to be changed.

Faiz said I must stay positive.
Or maybe he meant to say, "Learn to be positive", since he noticed that I am a negative thinker kind of person.

So based on the personality test that Lisz did for me, the result says that I'm confused. A follower, an honest person. Owns a very high limit of patience. Sensitive. Easy to forgive. And tends to be shy at times. Occasionally, maybe lol.

Well, one thing that I am sure that I haven't been doing for quite awhile is, staying focus!
I keep on jumping to this and that plan.
I also got lost easily in my own mind tricks.

Hm, and one thing that I'm looking forward during the upcoming reunion in JB is, my aunt will be getting her friend to talk to me.
Talk.
Might it change something, at least one issue- I just hope so.
She said she's gonna get my mind digged.
Maybe that's the whole point.
Get me to focus on ONE single thing first, and work for it.
Action.
Action speaks louder than words!
Yes. Yes. Yes.

Insya'Allah.
Things are gonna be okay and hopefully wayyy better for me.
Amin.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Hello teardrops.

Wow crying really got me relieved.
It's been awhile...
:)
It feels good.

I am me.

It's good talking about me, isn't it?
It's good trying to see me fall on the ground.

Well, I ain't no God to punish you.
I ain't no God to even judge you especially when I don't even know you.
That's all that I have to say.

I'm still gonna lead my life.
And if talking about me satisfies you, and if bitchin' around about me is one your life's routine, then go ahead.
I am a nobody to stop you.

I'm just gonna do my part, for my ownself.
My life has never been about doing paybacks to people who obviously having issues with me. I'm still keeping my own principle, I just don't mess with people especially strangers.

Be what you want.
I can never care less.

It's your life.
I ain't no preacher to brag about life, God, karma and so on.
You've got your own believings, you've got your own brain.

But yah, thank you =)

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Countdown!

One more week to go til' my Aunty-Nieces&Nephews reunion!
A cousin will be coming down all the way from Jakarta.
Those in OZ couldn't make it.
Singapore, most of them will be coming!
Superb.
Can't say that I'm excited already til I get my retro dress since the theme selected is The 70's! And and there's already a list of activities that will be held in our aunt's hotel during the event.
Free and easy, high tea, retro night, pool party, performances, and the best part is- she came out with the rule- NO PARENTS ALLOWED, accept for herself. Lol.
Oh and yes, there will also be some sorta 'health talk'? LOL.
M Suites JB, herrre we come!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Another chapter.

Still trying to cope...
Still keeping my head up high..
Still trying to think wayyy out of the box..
Still trying to see further at the brighter and maybe brightest side..

I know I keep on saying this..
But time really flies so damn fast...
It's a bad sign. Lol.

By the way..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAMA...
I LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF MY HEART..
NO MATTER HOW SOMETIMES I TEND TO BE RUDE..
NO MATTER HOW SOMETIMES I MAKE YOU MAD.
NOTHING WILL CHANGE THE FACT THAT YOU WILL FOREVER BE THE ONLY QUEEN OF MY HEART.
HAPPY 41ST BIRTHDAY..
NOTHING ELSE I WISH FOR YOU, BUT HAPPINESS, FAITH AND BLESSINGS ALL THE WAY THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFETIME.

On current issues, work is doing fine..
Bestfriends, still sticking with me, Alhamdulillah..
Haters?
I couldn't care less.


MONKEYS: I don't wanna be twice as what you are. ;P

Oh toodles for now!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Lovely Sunday!

Everybody at the lounge love Sundays!!!
And that including me, definitely!
It's the day of fun..
Where during the other days, we've to be aware of a MONSTER!
But on Sundays, we ourselves became the monsters!!!

Hihihihihi...

So.. HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TO US - TG LOUNGE, SQ LOUNGE AND CX LOUNGE!
Whhheeeeeeee!!!~

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

*Yawns*

Seriously, you stalkers really don't have your own life to deal with, do you?
And what's with the nicknames? Doom, 2good2betrue lah..
Being Anonymous, and dropping comments here is wayyyy more desperate.
Pulling stunts on the net is wayyyyyy too pathetic.
I'm gonna delete all those weird comments from strangers.
Well it's my blog.

And call me desperate or whatever, at least I have my own life to deal with.
Rather than you people who has got no life and better things to do.

But like I said, just in case you missed this from this blog page;


Your idea of me is fabricated with materials you have borrowed from other people and from yourself. What you think of me depends on what you think of yourself. Perhaps you create your idea of me out of material you would like to eliminate from your own idea of yourself. Perhaps your idea of me is a reflection of what other people think of you. Perhaps what you think of me is simply what you think that I think of you. Don’t tell me who I am because unless I write all my thoughts down on a piece of paper and hand it to you, you don’t even know half my life. Isn’t it weird how you never seem to focus on what you like about a person but tend to notice every flaw they have?

But whatever it is, I appreciate it when you actually spend most of your time here, checking out my life. Thanks for the concern.
God bless.

Last One.

So yah..
He left.. He dropped by at my workplace and I'm thankful enough for being there with him before he departed from the airport.
Accompanied him to gate C35.
Took some last photos of us.. LOL.
Damn it sucks.
Saying goodbye and all...

I got so clueless after I left him at the gate..

But we're still texting each other after he texted me using his OZ digits.
Yey.
Now that's not that bad...
We can still keep in touch.
More over, there's Facebook!

:)

I miss him already.

Alright chiao.
Be safe everyone!

Monday, January 18, 2010

You.

Thanks for everything.
For the candy cane, and for the good times we spent before you go back.
It's so hard to explain.
It might not be love, I don't think that I can easily fall in love again..
But I'm having this kind of feeling that makes me happy when you're around.
Happy when we're texting each other.
Upset when I heard that you're really gonna take tomorrow's flight back.
And I'm missing you already..

What's next, never can I predict.
But whatever it is, at least I had so much fun with you.
You're making me oh-so-happy.

I don't blame anything or anyone for what happened.
In fact, I'm feeling thankful.

So I guess tomorrow's really gonna be the day.
And they said, saying Goodbye is hard.
But hey, things are flowing so smoothly, nothing seems to be a problem.
Missing you; won't be a problem.
It's gonna be suweeeeet~ ;P

I'm sure gonna miss you so much.

Again, thank
YOU.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

January 8th: Albion/Barsonic/Baan26/NZGarden

I had so much fun with Bee, Shac, Dzimmi, Adlee and their friends.
From Albion at Changkat,to Baan 26, to Barsonic...
It was all good.
And as usual, after Barsonic, the right place to chill would be NZ.
It was kinda crowded that night in NZ, luckily we managed to find a spot.
Bumped into Nana, and she too ended up at NZ. Lol.
Didn't have much time to catch up with her tho.
After days and daysss of working, I got myself a very good time to spent with such lovely people...
Yayness.
Sigh.. Time flies ohh so fastttt~

Saturday, January 9, 2010

m o n k e y

So you've said it, this is MY blog, I can blog about anything that I wished to.
Then why do you care so much?
Who the hell do you think you are?

And everytime lu cakap, "Jangan ganggu I lagi," sumpah aku tahan aje nak gelak. Fyi, I still have all your SMSes.. Sebab awal2 lagi aku da tahu TRICK kau. And memang hidup kau penuhhh dengan trickkks and tales! Bakar la aku lagi biar aku jadi budak2 mcm kau, and start to show around message2 kau k?
Siapa cari siapa?
OMG.

Lucu la awak ni..

Dah la stalker.
Hahahaha..
Siap mengaku pulak terasa dengan blog posts aku.
Ada nama kau ke?
Bukan masalah aku kalau kau terasa..

Pergi la buat blog sendiri okay rather than jadi stalker and terasa hati sendiri.
Kau tahu apa kau dah buat.
Kau nak terasa, bukan salah aku kot.
Kejap mengaku kau banyak salah dengan aku.
Pastu tak puas hati dgn aku, main pusing cerita la plak..

Again, lagi sekali kau hantar msg ckp JANGAN GANGGU KAU, mcm aku plak heran nak terkejar2 kau, memang confirm aku selamba aje reveal msg2 kau kat aku ok?
Termasuk lah msg2 last yang aku hantar, yang mintak kau jangan ganggu aku lagi. And kau cakap kau tak nak. I still have them man. =)

Bakar la lagi.
Aku pun takde masa nak cite pasal kau aje. Ni blog aku, cerita hidup aku.
And kewujudan manusia bangang dalam hidup aku.
So you don't have any f*ccin rights to stop me!
Siapa suruh stalk aku?
In the end sendiri plak nak terasa..
Perasan betul.
Everytime, kau yang buat aku blog pasal kau..


Kau yang stalk aku.. Heran betul nak tahu pasal aku kan?
haha.

OMG this is stupid.

Aku tak nak dowh post blog macam ni. But since you're too much kan.
Kaki putar mengalahkan kentang putar!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Why The 6 Months Being Single

- I don't need another man to bully me and treat me like a f*ccin barua
- I don't need another man who switched off his phone whenever I'm around
- I don't need another man who talks about getting engaged to 3 girls at ONE time, including me
- I don't need another man to talk alotta cocks and bulls
- I don't need another man to make me speed and risk my life just to be next to him
- I don't need another man to talk shit behind my back when things between us are over and done
- I don't need another man who swears 24/7
- I don't need another man who doesn't appreciate my loyalty
- I don't need another man who's leaving in his very own world
- I don't need another man who gets mad for no f*ccin reason
- I don't need another man who will dump me just because I pranked him on his birthday
- I don't need another man to ignore my calls and ignored me just because I'm 2 minutes late to meet him up
- I don't need another man to treat me like a f*ccin recycleable garbage
- I don't need another man to say that he loves me at the 1st second and at the third he doesn't anymore
- I don't need another man who's got so much talent in twisting and turning
- I don't need another man who changes girls' names into guys' in his phone book
- I don't need another man who keeps telling me that this and that girl is chasing him when truth is it's the other way round
- I don't need another man to come to me when he's having hard times with his woman, and when they're cool, he's gone
- I don't need another man to f*ccin treat me like a f*ccin puppet
- I don't need another man to keep telling me that I'm the best but he just couldn't love me like how he used to before
- I don't need another man who's having issues with himself and drag me along like I'm the messed up one
- I don't need another man with friends that keep reminding me to beware of him
- I don't need another man who keeps telling me that I've got so much issues that are too much for him to handle
- I don't need another man to calm me down by saying. "be patient", and that's the best he can do
- I don't need another man who spends all his money on unnecessary stuffs just to f*ccin show them off
- I don't need another man to introduce me to his family and when things are over, he'll bitched around about me to his fam
- I don't need another man to easily swear with God's name yet never did he mean it
- I don't need another man who is a f*ccin coward and keeps running away from issues
- I don't need another man who will scold me like I'ma f*ccin 12 years old
- I don't need another man to make a f*ccin big fool out of myself


i just don't need another man who doesn't even know the true meaning of love yet keep saying "I love you"

Thursday, January 7, 2010