VEE C T I M I Z E D

If....

2012-02-11T14:46:00.002+08:00

...... I can get myself a tatoo, I'd get this kinda design. Super cool no?

The Status

2012-02-11T12:44:00.002+08:00

Recovery.. recovered?

2012-02-06T00:09:00.002+08:00

I am 25 years old..
25 tahun dah. And yet ada orang tak faham yang saya dah tempuh macam macam. Tak ada masa nak main main lagi dengan hidup ni..

First of, talking about heartbreak's recovery, and recovered from it.

Orang boleh cakap apa pun. Suruh delete gambar2, delete message2. Sometimes, benda benda macam ni tak perlu dipaksa. Honestly, saya bukan tak cuba.. In the end, degil degil saya pun, masa dia akan tiba bila saya betul betul putus asa sendiri and biarkan semua berlalu macam tu je.
Dah sampai tahap bila saya sendiri terfikir kenapa saya dah tak teringatkan hamba Allah sorang tu. Dalam tercari2, saya bersyukur. Tak payah nak rasa sakit dengan adanya dia, atau pun ketiadaan dia. It happened on its own. I'm over him.
And tak semestinya bila kita dah putus asa tu kita mesti dah ada pengganti. Ada masa, kita lebih rela and sanggup sorang2 kan?

Hikmahnya, saya makin dekat dengan family. Alhamdulillah..
Bukan je sebab saya dah putus asa dengan relationship, tapi maybe sedikit sebanyak, faktor usia pun mempengaruhi perubahan tersebut. Hahahaha..

It's okay, kalau orang susah nak percaya bila kita dah cuba sehabis baik, it's okay. :) Seriously, if it's worth the wait and the pain, I might stay. But no, its enough.. I'm happier now. Having my family with me no matter thru thick or thin.

Alhamdulillah :)

Escaping The Worst Of Prisons

2012-02-04T16:09:00.009+08:00

When Sara met Ahmed, she immediately knew. He was everything she had always dreamed of. Meeting him was like watching the sun rise in the middle of a snowstorm. His warmth melted the cold. But soon admiration turned to worship. Before she could understand what had happened, Sara had become a prisoner. She became a prisoner of her own desire and craving for that which she adored. Everywhere she looked, Sara saw nothing but him. Her greatest fear in life was displeasing him. He was all she could feel, and without him happiness had no meaning. Leaving him made her feel as though her soul was being peeled from her very being. Her heart was consumed with only his face, and nothing felt closer to her than him. He became to her like the blood in her veins. The pain of existing without him was unbearable because there was no happiness outside of being with him.

But Sara thought she was in love.

Sara had been through a lot in her life. Her father walked out on her when she was a teenager, she ran away from home when she was 16, she battled drug and alcohol addictions. She even spent time in jail. But all that pain combined could not compare to the pain she would come to know inside this new prison of her own making. Sara became a captive inside her own desires. It was this captivity that Ibn Taymiyyah radi Allahu `anhu (may Allah be pleased with him) spoke of when he said, “The one who is (truly) imprisoned is the one whose heart is imprisoned from Allah and the captivated one is the one whose desires have enslaved him.” (Ibn al-Qayyim, al-Wabil, pg 69)

The agony of Sara’s worship of Ahmed was more intense than the agony of all her previous hardships. It consumed her but never filled her. Like a parched man in the middle of a desert, Sara was desperately pursuing a mirage. But what was worse was the torturous result of putting something in a place only God should be.

Sara’s story is so deep because it demonstrates a profound truth of existence. As human beings, we are created with a particular nature (fitrah). That fitrah is to recognize the oneness of God and to actualize this truth in our lives. Therefore, there is no calamity, no loss, no thing that will cause more pain than putting something equal to God in our lives or our hearts. Shirk on any level breaks the human spirit like no worldly tragedy could. By making the soul love, revere, or submit to something as it should only God, you are contorting the soul into a position that it, by its very nature, was never meant to be in. To see the reality of this truth, one only has to look at what happens to a person when they lose their object of worship.

On July 22, the Times of India reported that a 40-year-old woman committed suicide in her home by pouring kerosene over her body and setting herself on fire. The police said it appeared that the suicide was an “extreme step because she was unable to conceive a child over 19 years of marriage.”

Only days earlier on July 16, police reported that a 22-year-old Indian man “committed suicide after his girlfriend left him.”

Most people could sympathize with the pain of these people, and most would be heartbroken in the same position. But if having a child or a particular person in our life is our reason for being, something is terribly wrong. If something finite, temporary and fading becomes the center of our life, the raison d’etre (reason for existing), we will surely break. The imperfect object that we place at our center will—by definition—fade, let us down, or pass away. And our break will occur as soon as it does. What happens if, while climbing a mountain, you hang on to a twig to hold all your weight? Laws of physics tell us that the twig, which was never created to carry such weight, will break. Laws of gravity tell us that it is then that you will most certainly fall. This is not a theory. It is a certainty of the physical world. This reality is also a certainty of the spiritual world, and we are told of this truth in the Qur’an. Allah says:

“People, here is an illustration, so listen carefully: those you call on beside God could not, even if they combined all their forces, create a fly, and if a fly took something away from them, they would not be able to retrieve it. How feeble are the petitioners and how feeble are those they petition!” (22:73)

The message of this ayah (verse) is deeply profound. Every time you run after, seek, or petition something weak or feeble (which, by definition, is everything other than Allah), you too become weak or feeble. Even if you do reach that which you seek, it will never be enough. You will soon need to seek something else. You will never reach true contentment or satisfaction. That is why we live in a world of trade-ins and upgrades. Your phone, your car, your computer, your woman, your man, can always be traded in for a newer, better model.

But there is a freedom from that slavery. When the object upon which you place all your weight is unshaking, unbreakable, and unending, you cannot fall. You cannot break. Allah explains this truth to us in the Qur’an when He says:

“There is no compulsion in religion: true guidance has become distinct from error, so whoever rejects false gods and believes in God has grasped the firmest hand-hold, one that will never break. God is all hearing and all knowing.” (2:256)

When what you hold on to is strong, you too become strong, and with that strength comes the truest freedom. It is of that freedom that Ibn Taymiyyah, may Allah have mercy on him, said: “What can my enemies do to me? I have in my breast both my heaven and my garden. If I travel they are with me, never leaving me. Imprisonment for me is a chance to be alone with my Lord. To be killed is martyrdom and to be exiled from my land is a spiritual journey.” (Ibn al-Qayyim, al-Wabil, p.69)

By making the one without flaw, end, or weakness the only object of his worship, Ibn Taymiyyah described an escape from the prison of this life. He described a believer whose heart is free. It is a heart free of the shackles of servitude to this life and everything in it. It is a heart that understands that the only true tragedy is the compromise of tawheed (the doctrine of the Oneness of God), that the only insurmountable affliction is the worship of anyone or anything other than the One worthy of worship. It is a heart that understands that the only true prison is the prison of replacing something with God. Whether that object is one’s own desires, nafs (ego), wealth, job, spouse, children, or the love of one’s life, that false deity will entrap and enslave you if you make it ultimate. The pain of that bondage will be greater, deeper, and longer lasting than any other pain which could be inflicted by all the tragedies of this life.

The experience of Prophet Yunus `alayhi sallatu wa sallam (may Allah send his peace and blessings upon him) is so crucial to internalize. When he was trapped in the belly of the whale, he had only one way out: turning completely to Allah, realizing Allah’s oneness and his own human frailty. His du`a’ encapsulates this truth in such a profound way: “There is no God but You, glory be to You, I was wrong.” (Qur’an, 21:87)

Many of us are also trapped inside the belly of the whale of our own desires and objects of worship. It is our own selves which we become enslaved to. And that imprisonment is the result of putting anything where only God should be in our hearts. In so doing we create the worst and most painful of prisons; because while a worldly prison can only take away what is temporary and inherently imperfect, this spiritual prison takes away what is ultimate, unending and perfect: Allah and our relationship to Him.

http://www.yasminmogahed.com/

How To Get Over A Broken Heart

2012-01-27T14:03:00.004+08:00

... which, I'm still not good at.

Wow, a broken heart hurts, there is no doubt about it. Your friends say to forget about him or her but you can’t. You lie awake at night and it feels like someone has ripped your heart out and stomped it into the ground. The pain of a breakup can be unbearable at times no doubt. This website is for those of you that have had enough of this type of crap. If your sick and tired of being hurt and are ready to do what it takes to end this painful issue then read on. If you have recently broken up with someone and want them back, or find yourself hurting often with you need this information.
How To Get Over Heartbreak and stop the pain

I’ve been there myself plenty of times my last breakup was beyond awful I could literally feel my heart breaking. That breakup was the inspiration for making this site in the first place. I was a prisoner because I had no idea how to stop the crushing pain. It was during this time I made a personal commitment to myself to make damn sure I never had to feel that way again.

I’m talking about the trouble eating, depression, anxiety, loneliness, self doubt and sleeping… Forget about it. The best analogy I came up with for describing the pain of a fresh breakup is that it is akin to being half frozen in a lake, at night the Ice Weasels come. (and they are hungry). Learning how to get over it and move on can help you to overcome the pain and get on with your life. breakup
How To Get Over Being Heartbroken-Time to change something

Albert Einstein once said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. Think about this quote for a second and ask yourself, does this quote apply to the way handle yourself in relationships? If you intend to stop feeling this way this needs to change, and the sooner the better.

Okay then, this is the part where I’m supposed to tell you that it’s not your fault that your ex is just a jerk and doesn’t know what he or she’s lost but I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to do that because if you’re the type of person who’s browsing websites like this searching for a magic pill to stop your agony you need to hear this. If you want to learn how to get over things and move on you’ll need to accept the following.

It’s your fault, I’ll repeat that once more it’s your fault Yes, I am telling you right now that during some point of your last relationship you started behaving in a way that pushed your mate away from you.
Hang on here I’m going to take it up a notch…

Since this has been such a problem in your life that you have turned to the Internet for solution for your misery I’m also going to guess this is not the first time this has happened to you. At this point you are probably a bit lost and don’t really understand why this always happens to you. I am a really nice guy, you might be a nice guy too, or maybe you’re a nice girl. Unfortunately that is likely part of the problem, I’ll explain why in a minute.

You have probably noticed yourself that it seems as if you have to be a jerk or a floozy to keep a mate. It does not make any sense at all but you see it every day. Once you understand how to behave the reasons why this happens will be obvious to you.
It’s not because they’re jerks or floozies

In spite of being jerks or floozies these types of people by default typically sidestep most of the inappropriate behavior that will cause a significant other to run away. It doesn’t make any sense at all but that’s the way it is. It’s a fact people would rather be with jerks or floozies then with people (YOU) who unknowingly short-circuit the attraction mechanism. I’m not telling you you need to be a jerk or a floozie to keep a mate, but you do need to borrow a few characteristics that they inherently posses. Floozies and Jerks don’t often get hurt from breakups and life is not fair, deal with it.
Relationships are psychological warfare

If you don’t know what you’re doing you don’t stand a chance. If you’re lucky enough even to get a boy or girl friend at all the odds of you keeping them are virtually nil. Sooner or later your mate will lose attraction for you and someone else who understands the correct way to behave will step in and replace you. You will find yourself once again alone in front of your computer looking at websites like this one searching for a Band-Aid for your wounds. Breakup pain sucks and unless you change something you had better get used to having it. Once you understand the reasons why this is true you will know how to escape the pain once and for all.
Make a commitment and make a change

If you are tired of being used and walked on you need to change something. You really need to educate yourself on the inner workings of attraction. If you cannot recognize and understand what you’re doing wrong you can’t ever hope to fix it. Click here http://reunitedrelationships.com/main/m3system-2/?hop=197aday for more information and a short presentation. If you’re still in a situation where you feel there is hope for you to get back with your ex you need to check it out.

Still talking to them? YOU’RE ALREADY screwing it up and you don’t even know it

Have you been calling or texting your x? Maybe you have even been hanging out in the same places hoping to get a chance to talk to them? If so…Tell me, how’s that working out for you? Here is a top tip; STOP! You are making it worse believe me you don’t know what you are doing…yet!

Depression Is NOT Healthy!

What if you could turn the tables and have THEM calling YOU?
What if you knew exactly what to say when they do call?
How would you feel if you could get them back and KEEP them?

This is all possible, and in fact likely but YOU must educate yourself.. You can learn how to get over a broken heart but you need to take action!

Olly Moss

2012-01-20T13:05:00.002+08:00

A True Psycho

2012-01-15T21:03:00.002+08:00

Issei Sagawa

http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/serial_killers/weird/sagawa/1.html

Best!

2012-01-14T11:24:00.005+08:00

The Revenge Of The Mummy Ride

Transformers The Ride: The Ultimate 3D Battle

Madagascar: A Crate Adventure Boat Ride

Battlestar Gallactica: Cylon Roller Coaster

Some of the rides yang saya dah try. Haha terbaikkkk Cylon ni! Next time I'm gonna try the blue one.. Battlestar Gallactica: Human Ride

2 0 1 2

2012-01-14T10:40:00.005+08:00

Pejam celik pejam celik, it's now 2012 already.
Wow... And this coming month of November makes me a 25 years old girl.
I mean, err... lady?

Dang it.

So well.. pejam celik pejam celik jugak, dah almost 8 months aku bekerja di sini, Media Monitors Malaysia Sdn Bhd. Seriously, this is the longest time I've been working. Selalu nya 3 months je saya dah cha alif but (cabut). Hihihi..

Here, I have my own clan. Lol. Tribe, people, whatever you call it, friends maybe. Or BFF.
I have Amy, Nadia, Izzy and Ieza.. Then we have some other colleagues yang ngam dengan kami. But actually, dengan almost everyone in this office pun kami ngammmm ;P
And Fatin pun selalu jugak dropped by here in Cyberjaya to hang out with us, or sometimes we'll just meet up somewhere and merayau together. From Putrajaya area, sampai la ke KL.

I was in Singapore from last Saturday til Tuesday. I mean, we stayed in JB- M-Suites of course.. There was a wedding of Aunty Sapiah's daughter, and then the next day I went to Universal Studios Singapore with Mom, Dad and my sister. It was awesome!!! But tak puas.. The next time, I'll make sure that I'll be going with a bunch of friends pulak. Its not that I didn't had fun going there with my fam. But dengan family dah lepas, so lepas ni dengan geng la pulak kan. Hehehe.. I'll start planning sebab boleh stay at M-Suites, and boleh ambil package to USS from Uncle Wahab's travel agency company. It's gonna be fun, it's gonna be mad! Haha..
Kitorang even sempat lepak dengan Abang Firdaus, our JB cousin.. He fetched us from M-Suites and kami pergi minum minum and borak borak..

Other updates. Yah I'm still single. And no, I'm not seeing anyone at all. No new man. Or whatsoever. I'm doing great alone. I have my family and I have my friends with me,. What else can I ask for.
I've to admit that at times I do get lonely and miss that man who used to be with me, used to be for me. And that man that I still love this very second. But there is nothing I could do to like, get back with him.. Give our relationship another shot. Cukup cukup lah. Bukan Tak pernah bagi chance and let him prove that things will change for the better. Janji tinggal janji aje selalunya.
Ah why am I telling all this. I should've moved on.

Oh well, overall I'm okay. Again, I have my family and friends with me. People who loves me and appreciates me. That's more than enough.

So that's all for now. Happy New Year people!

What KIDS can do

2011-12-30T08:33:00.002+08:00

Rest In Peace

http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/young/bulger/1.html

Children become, while little, our delights,
When they grow bigger, they begin to fright’s.
Their sinful Nature prompts them to rebel,
And to delight in Paths that lead to Hell.
— John Bunyan, “Book for Boys and Girls” (1686)

"All little boys are nice until they get older.”
— Robert Thompson, age 11

Sabrina.

2011-12-29T19:17:00.003+08:00

You know, 9 years ago, I was very much in love. I was 15… And dia pun umur 15 tahun jugak.. We were young, indeed. So young. During that time, technology canggih2 ni semua dah wujud dah, you know, such as mobile phones, internet and all.. But we actually communicate thru letters.  Saya di sekolah perempuan. Methodist Girls Secondary School.. And he was from Sekolah Menengah Sultan Muhamad. Sekolah lelaki.. Kami guna kawan kawan jadi messengers. We were so in love, it’s obvious through what’s written in our letters.
After meeting him only twice, God actually took him back. Away from me. Away from his family and friends. Yes He loves Faizal more. Believe it or not, sampai saat ni saya masih bayangkan Arwah sebagai lelaki yang mungkin paling mampu buat saya happy, and takkan sakitkan saya…
But, how can we deny fate and destiny,.. And in this case, how can we deny DEATH?
And then I met a couple of other men… Some hurt me so much by their passion for cheating, kepuasan dalam berlaku curang, dan yang tak pernah cukup dengan seorang perempuan yang jelas jelas terlalu sayangkan dia. Well, at least I’ve been through it, I know the feelings, and never would I want to be in that very same, painful spot again..
The last one, we were good friends. Rapat sangat. Sumpah dia seorang kawan yang sangat baik. He was there when the “cheater” left me for another girl. He was there when I was in need. Always there.. I tried to avoid having any feelings towards him. I mean perasaan lebih dari kawan, eversince I heard my friends told me that he’s falling for me. I kept being so denial.. But unexpectedly, one day I actually felt like I should give it a shot. He waited for me. So patiently, sambil buktikan pada saya yang dia akan selalu ada dengan saya. And I thought, having a bestfriend to be my boyfriend is gonna make him a very understanding boyfriend to me.
The first few days were fine… Sampai la dia start cemburu membabi buta. And I could actually consider myself abused. Long story. But you know, to be honest, I feel like, sakit sakit tu semua takkan boleh buat saya padam sayang saya pada dia.. I kept going back..
Saya selalu rasa macam, kita patut tempuh je apa yang datang tak kira sakit macam mana sekalipun. Biar kita terhantuk sendiri.. Biar kita serik sendiri.. Biar lah walaupun setiap hari nak kena berendam airmata.
Tapi sampai satu tahap, sabar saya dah terhabis guna… Hati rasa penat. Semuanya rasa tak berbaloi dan tak ada makna apa apa lagi.. And everything seems to be out of place.
Love can really make us do crazy things. Make us turn into someone we’re not. Love is risky. Very risky. Dan hakikatnya, tak ada apa dalam dunia yang sempurna, Tak ada apa dalam dunia yang akan kekal selamanya.
And being patient is always the very best thing to do, patience is the best thing to have. Patience is the best thing to hold on to. And also faith. What’s meant to be is meant to be.
For me, I’ve been given the name SABRINA for a reason, I’m sure of it.  Because Sabrina means Sabar- Patience. And patience is strength. I believe I’m strong and I can be stronger.

The Marble Eye Boy

2011-12-17T10:04:00.001+08:00

Beyond imagination...

http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/serial_killers/history/pomeroy/1.html

Enjoy..

Mary Flora Bell

2011-12-09T13:08:00.003+08:00

"I couldn’t kill a bird by the neck or throat or anything, it’s horrible that. "

-- Mary Bell

http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/famous/bell/statement_3.html

Extremely ABSURD!!

2011-12-06T15:48:00.004+08:00

Check this out

http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/serial_killers/notorious/gein/bill_1.html

birthboringday.

2011-11-29T19:41:00.003+08:00

How disappointed it is.
But it happens all the time..
Happened all the time to me..
Never, ever hope too much.
Never put so much hopes in anything in the world.
Those things you hoped too much will turn out the other way around, and tears are surely gonna be your best mates.

Like my birthday.

One of the most important people in my life never even cared to wish me.
Not even how he usually did it, by sms. No.

It's okay.

And don't bother asking me "how's your birthday?"
Because it sucks, big time.

Impossible Prediction

2011-11-29T19:38:00.002+08:00

If only we were blessed with an ability to predict our future, would we actually be where we currently are?
Hell no..
Exactly how I wish I'm not stucked in the situation I'm currently stucked in.
Hah!
Now that does make sense, doesn't it?

Best advanced birthday present ever!

2011-11-05T10:04:00.006+08:00

I met my idol Kimora Lee Simmons! It was awesome.
How can you not love and adore her...
A very good role model to other celebs..
She tried her very best to talk to all her fans and followers..
She was super duper friendly..
A dream came true, indeeeeeed~

My mom met her first right after she touched down at the airport!
And she signed an autograph for me. It's awesome that both me and my mom got to meet and hugged Kimora. Honestly, it was: a w e s o m e !

And thanks to KLS, I met a bunch of new friends.
Those who waited for her to come out from The Gardens Residences last night.

How I felt when she hugged me?
Beyond worrrdssss to describe!

Rest In Peace, Marco

2011-10-24T17:10:00.003+08:00

I am deepy saddened by the passing of one of the most popular riders in MotoGP.

Rest in peace, Marco Simoncelli..

You're truly gonna be missed..

We've lost another fantastic rider..

Distress

2011-10-13T15:42:00.004+08:00

Honestly,
I just can't stand all this stress.
I can't stand feeling all stressful every single day.
Even when nothing's up, when I should feel okay, being in good condition,
it seems like that thing called stress has fully conquered my mind, my brain, my life.
Stress could lead to dull skin complexion, acnes, eating disorder(lesser or more appetite).
And that's obviously not healthy!
It can even leads to heart attack, diabetes and other critical diseases.
Insomnia?
Used to it!
How can people easily tell us to stop thinking, try to get rid of all the thoughts that would be lingering on our heads when we're trying to sleep?
It is seriously not that easy dude.

Sick!

2011-10-12T14:49:00.004+08:00

****
Sabtu, 8 Oktober 2011
GOMBAK: Berang isteri dalam pantang enggan melayan kehendak seksualnya, seorang lelaki berusia 28 tahun bagaikan dirasuk syaitan apabila sanggup meliwat bayi lelakinya berusia 23 hari di dalam bilik di rumahnya di Taman Sunway, Batu Caves, di sini, kelmarin.

Lebih kejam apabila tangisan bayi malang yang menahan kesakitan itu langsung tidak diendahkan si bapa durjana, sebaliknya dia menjadi lebih rakus dengan bertindak menutup mulut anaknya itu menggunakan tangan dengan kuat, sekali gus menambah derita si kecil.

Bapa yang kejam itu berbuat demikian untuk mengelakkan tangisan bayi malang itu didengari isterinya yang ketika kejadian dilaporkan sedang berehat di ruang tamu rumah.

Sumber polis berkata, tindakan keji dan kejam itu hanya disedari ibu mangsa berusia 39 tahun kira-kira jam 4 petang apabila melihat mangsa tidak bermaya ketika mahu memandikannya.

“Si ibu terkejut apabila melihat bahagian mulut mangsa lebam. Pemeriksaan wanita itu kemudian mendapati bahagian dubur mangsa turut cedera.

Read this

2011-10-12T14:12:00.003+08:00

This is one of the most notorious and worst cases of torture murder ever recorded in history. It is also one of the most horrifying and heartbreaking.

Exactly twenty years ago, a sixteen year-old girl was going through the most unimaginable pain, waiting for the endless suffering she was going through to end. For 44 days, nobody helped her.

Her killers are now free men. Justice has never been served, not even after 20 years.

Once you hear the story, it is not easily forgotten. Her 44 days of suffering will forever be known.

WARNING: FOR STRONG AND COMPASSIONATE HEARTS ONLY:

On November 22, 1989:
Junko Furuta was a girl in Japan who was held captive in a house by four boys. There, she was raped countless times, then tortured to death in unimaginable and incomprehensible ways for 44 days. She was 16 years old.

(from Wikipedia)

The crime:
In November of 1988, Boy A (then 18), Boy B (Jo Kamisaku, then 17; Kamisaku was a new family name he took after being released from prison [1]), Boy C (then 16) and Boy D (then 17) from Tokyo abducted and held Furuta, a second year high school (grade 11) student from Saitama Prefecture in Misato, for 44 days. They kept her captive in the house owned by the parents of Boy C.

To forestall a manhunt, Boy A coerced Furuta into calling her own parents and telling them that she had run away from home, but was with “a friend” and was not in danger. He also browbeat her into posing as one of the boys’ girlfriends when the parents of the house where she was held were around, but when it became clear that the parents would not call the police, he dropped this pretext. Furuta tried to escape several times, begging the parents more than once to help her, but they did nothing, apparently out of fear that Boy A would hurt them. Boy A was at the time a low-level yakuza leader and had bragged that he could use his connections to kill anyone who interfered.

According to their statements at their trial, the four of them raped her, beat her, introduced foreign objects including an iron rod into her vagina, made her drink her own urine and was fed cockroaches, inserted fireworks into her anus, and set them off, forced Furuta to masturbate, cut her nipple with pliers, dropped dumbbells onto her stomach, and burned her with cigarettes and lighters. (One of the burnings was punishment for attempting to call the police.) At one point her injuries were so severe that according to one of the boys it took more than an hour for her to crawl downstairs to use the bathroom. They also related that “possibly a hundred different people” knew that Furuta had been imprisoned there, but it is not clear if this means they visited the house at different times while she was imprisoned there, or themselves either raped or abused her. When the boys refused to let her leave, she begged them on several occasions to “kill (her) and get it over with”.

On January 4, 1989, using one of the boys’ loss at mah-jongg as a pretext, the four beat her with an iron barbell, poured lighter fluid on her legs, arms, face and stomach, and set her on fire. She died later that day of shock. The four boys claimed that they were not aware of how badly injured she was, and that they believed she had been malingering.

The killers hid her corpse in an 55-gallon drum filled with cement; the perpetrators disposed the drum in a tract of reclaimed land in Koto, Tokyo.

Arrest and punishment

The boys were arrested and tried as adults; but, because of Japanese handling of crimes committed by juveniles, their identities were sealed by the court. However, a weekly magazine Shukan Bunshun reported their real names, claiming “Human rights aren’t needed for brutes.”[2] Furuta’s real name and details about her personal life were reported exhaustively in the media. Kamisaku was judged as a sub leader, at least according to the official trial.

The four boys pled guilty to a reduced charge of “committing bodily injury that resulted in death”, rather than murder. Boy A’s parents sold their house for approximately 50 million yen and paid this as compensation to Furuta’s family.[citation needed]

For his participation in the crime, Kamisaku served eight years in a juvenile prison before he was released, in August 1999. In July 2004, he was arrested for assaulting an acquaintance, whom he believed to be luring a girlfriend away from him, and allegedly bragged about his earlier infamy. [1] Kamisaku was sentenced to seven years in prison for the beating.

Junko’s parents were dismayed by the sentences received by their daughter’s killers, and enjoined a civil suit against the parents of the boy in whose home the crimes were committed. When some of the convictions were overturned on the basis of problematic physical evidence (the semen and pubic hair recovered from the body did not match those of the boys who were arrested), the lawyer handling the civil suit decided there was no case to be made and refused to represent them further. (There is speculation that the evidence may have been contaminated—for example, by unidentified persons who raped Furuta.

One of the most disturbing parts of this true story is that her killers are now free. After putting Junko Furuta through all that suffering, they are free men.

****-What they did to her and the suffering-****

These horrifying things done to Junko Furuta had been collected through the Japanese court trial of the case, and blogs from 1989. They show the pain that Junko Furuta had to endure before she was finally dead. All this had happened to her while she was still alive. They are disturbing, but the truth.

All of this had happened.

-

DAY 1: November 22, 1988: Kidnapped
Kept captive in house, and posed as one of boy’s girlfriend
Raped (over 400 times in total)
Forced to call her parents and tell them she had run away
Starved and malnutritioned
Fed cockroaches to eat and urine to drink
Forced to masturbate
Forced to strip in front of others
Burned with cigarette lighters
Foreign objects inserted into her vagina/anus

DAY 11: December 1, 1988: Severely beat up countless times
Face held against concrete ground and jumped on
Hands tied to ceiling and body used as a punching bag
Nose filled with so much blood that she can only breath through her mouth
Dumbbells dropped onto her stomach
Vomited when tried to drink water (her stomach couldn’t accept it)
Tried to escape and punished by cigarette burning on arms
Flammable liquid poured on her feet and legs, then lit on fire
Bottle inserted into her anus, causing injury

DAY 20: December10, 1989: Unable to walk properly due to severe leg burns
Beat with bamboo sticks
Fireworks inserted into anus and lit
Hands smashed by weights and fingernails cracked
Beaten with golf club
Cigarettes inserted into vagina
Beaten with iron rods repeatedly
Winter; forced outside to sleep in balcony
Skewers of grilled chicken inserted into her vagina and anus, causing bleeding

DAY 30: Hot wax dripped onto face
Eyelids burned by cigarette lighter
Stabbed with sewing needles in chest area
Left nipple cut and destroyed with pliers
Hot light bulb inserted into her vagina
Heavy bleeding from vagina due to scissors insertion
Unable to urinate properly
Injuries were so severe that it took over an hour for her to crawl downstairs and use the bathroom
Eardrums severely damaged
Extreme reduced brain size

DAY 40: Begged her torturers to “kill her and get it over with”

January 1, 1989: Junko greets the New Years Day alone
Body mutilated
Unable to move from the ground

DAY 44: January 4, 1989: The four boys beat her mutilated body with an iron barbell, using a loss at the game of Mah-jongg as a pretext. She is profusely bleeding from her mouth and nose. They put a candle’s flame to her face and eyes.

Then, lighter fluid was poured onto her legs, arms, face and stomach, and then lit on fire. This final torture lasted for a time of two hours.

Junko Furuta died later that day, in pain and alone. Nothing could compare 44 days of suffering she had to go through.

When her mother heard the news and details of what had happened to her daughter, she fainted. She had to undergo a psychiatric outpatient treatment . Imagine her endless pain.

Her killers are now free men. Justice was never served, not even after 20 years.
They deserve a punishment much greater than they had put upon Furuta, for putting an innocent girl through the most unbearable suffering.

This story from 1989 is true. Please spread her story around. Everyone should know about the existence of Junko Furuta’s unimaginable and incomprehensible suffering, and this is why this group has been made.

Invite your friends. Never let her story be forgotten. If this story changes the life of at least one person then it has been worth it.

Rest In Eternal Peace,
Junko Furuta
1989-Eternity

-ABOUT SPAM/UNRELATED PROMOTING-

Now this group is not for promoting yourself, informercials, or any of that sort. This has been happening lately in the past due to the increase of members. I do, however, thank everyone for showing your compassion towards this crime, and to her.

This group is dedicated to a victim of a notorious crime. If you link or leave anything in promotion of an unrelated topic, it will be deleted, and you will be blocked and reported to the admins and Facebook Staff.
Thank you all.

R.I.P. Junko Furuta

PLEASE REPORT ANY THING POSTED IN THIS GROUP
THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS CRIME. YOU CAN REPORT IT TO FACEBOOK OR ADMINISTRATORS OF THE GROUP AND THE PERSON RESPONSIBILE WILL BE BLOCK AND DELETED.
THANK YOU.

AND ALSO THANK YOU FOR PAYING RESPECT TO JUNKO FURUTA.
AND SHARING IT WITH WORLD!

-

“A high-school girl was abducted by four teenaged hooligans while she was on her way to work. They took her to the house of a friend, held her in his bedroom, and for the next forty-five days enacted every imaginable form of abuse on her (and some you wouldn’t want to imagine). They gang-raped her—both with their own bodies and with an assortment of foreign objects—beat her, kicked her, doused her extremities with lighter fluid and set her on fire, and probably did many other things to her that went undocumented by either her tormentors or the police. They mocked her pain. They held her down and dropped barbells on her stomach. This last bit of torture was more than she could withstand, and after going into convulsions she apparently either strangled on her own vomit or simply died from her beatings. When the boys were questioned later about why they didn’t do anything during her seizure, they replied, “We assumed she was faking it.”

“She tried to escape, more than once. The first time, she was caught in the process of making a phone call. The second time, she ran into the parents of the boy who lived there; apparently they had known all along what was gong on. She begged them to help her, but they refused; his friend had criminal connections, and they didn’t want to get into trouble, too. After her death, they taped her arms and legs together, threw her into a 55-gallon drum, filled it with cement, and dumped it in an empty lot. The body wasn’t recovered until almost a year later. The ringleader of the whole incident served eight years in prison and is now a free man.”

The house where this unspeakable crime took place

Damn you BINATANG

Hmm..

2011-10-10T18:12:00.002+08:00

I miss my bestfriends.
I miss the old 'us'..
Sometimes I just wish that we don't have to grow up..

BISOU bake shop

2011-10-10T16:37:00.005+08:00

I am officially a regular customer here.

I never missed getting their red velvet cupcakes which is my favourite flavour for a cake.

For now, I think they've got the best red velvet cupcakes in town.

Do you guys like cupcakes??

Which flavour do you guys like the most?

RockAway 2011

2011-10-08T09:01:00.004+08:00

It's today..

Like 3 more hours to go til' the event..

And I'm here in the office, working obviously..

I wanna meet The Used!!!!

I wanna sing along with them when they're performing!!!

Anyone of you going?

Fingy minky

2011-10-08T08:56:00.002+08:00

Omg how cute are these lil' finger monkeys? Cracks me out.. But to have them as a pet, I'm gonna have to say no.. But yeah, they are such adorable creatures, no?

m.a.s.s.i.v.e.... ke?

2011-10-04T15:46:00.004+08:00

So yah, I was there at the event.
Wasn't so excited to go.. So we reached the circuit at almost 11pm if I'm not mistaken...
Okay.
The event was, okayyyyy..
I prefer Godskitchen Boombox.
Their props are better.
But whatever it is, I'm still mad about the package of my new shirt and landyard that went missing while I was standing in the middle of the crowd.
Yes, they were still in the plastic bag as I just purchased it from the entrance.
I was holding my leather jacket, together with the package so I guess it slipped
from my hand as it was kinda slippery.
And someone must have picked it up as soon as they saw it on the ground and just took it.
I almost cried.
But thanks to my beloved future brother in law (amin..)- Hazrul Shah, he gave me his...
heheheh..
He was the one who's willing to give them to me, so it's not my fault right.

Getting to know reality

2011-09-17T12:23:00.002+08:00

As days go by, I met and lost a number of people in my life.
No, not by death..
But by hearts.
Not mine, theirs.
People are getting crueller day by day.
But it's okay..
This is life..
And yes, it's not like I've never been warned before.
"Open up your eyes, and say hello to reality.."

Chin up high

2011-09-06T14:07:00.003+08:00

Yes, patience is good.
Patience is the keyword to blessings in disguise.
But at certain times, you know when you have to stop trying to be so patient.

We can change fate.

If only I know what's actually happening to me.
If only I could make everyone understand.
If only I could please evryone.
But fact is, I just can't.

I never asked to end up this way.
It's not even the end yet.
It might just be the beginning.

I know I've been so tough trying my best to gain that thing called happiness.
But if I fail to gain it right now, it might be coming to me sooner or later.
As long as there's patience, there would always be smile.

Be strong, keep your head up.

Aidilfitri 2011

2011-08-24T14:46:00.003+08:00

Hari Raya is coming, people!!!!
2011 Aidilfitri!!
Time is seriously flying so damn fast!!
Happy fasting, eventhough there's only a few days left..
Mari packing macking and pulang ke kampung yawww!!
Yeeehaaa.. eksaited!

Moments to cherish: moments when you have your fams around you.
When all those haters will be away.
And you have your fam protecting you.
:)
Have a good one!

The last laugh.

2011-07-23T23:00:00.002+08:00

So what if I start talking about God?
Yes I make mistakes, here and there.
But what the hell is your problem if I still know where I belong?

Look at yourself in the mirror before you even think of talking about others.
You might be making a fool out of yourself if you keep doing what you're doing.

But hey, when did you even care.
You wouldn't mind looking like a fool, you wouldn't mind making a fool out of yourself.
Shame on you.

:)

STOP Domestic Violence!

2011-07-12T13:19:00.002+08:00

Al Takdir

2011-07-09T13:51:00.003+08:00

Okay now..
Pejam celik pejam celik, I'm 24 already.
Big girl, verryyyy big..
No more that little Sabrina whom they used to call cicak kubing or anak Bosnia..
The unhealthy skinny girl.
LOL.
Nah it's not my age, nor my physical.. Those aren't the issue.
It's the questions that people have been asking me nowadays.
"When is your day?" "Adik bila lagi ni?"
I've put my last hope on that one man, and now he's gone.
He can't protect me, no.
So it's better to let him go now than being hurt all my life, no?

It's a fresh new start for me.
Meeting new people. Some brought pain, but I took them as lessons.

It's all the matter of time..
What's the rush, kan?
When it comes, it comes.

i heart hilary

2011-07-09T12:48:00.005+08:00

Omg I love this woman.

a friend won't be bi*chin' around about us

2011-07-09T11:54:00.002+08:00

It is so terrible how I had to go thru such tragedies to realize who my true friends are

Blessings in disguise.

I keep on reminding myself.

Yes God is great, no doubt at all..

I believe, those who spend their time bitchin' about other people should be sympathized.

happy now

2011-06-18T10:47:00.001+08:00

I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

A Freakin' Brand New Life

2011-06-16T13:07:00.002+08:00

God is fair.
God must have planned something good for me.
I'm learning not to complain, not to whine whenever things seems to get from bad to worst.
I'm learning to always keeping my head up, be positive and that things are gonna be okay...
And I've also realized that in life, there is no point of running away from the burdens that we have to carry. Let the world be on our shoulder, let everyone try to bring us down.. Be strong, have faith and I'm sure we gonna be okay..

Susah tapi nampak bintang

2011-06-04T23:49:00.003+08:00

Dah jenuh dah dengar nasihat kawan kawan.
Kawan kawan yang dah berbelas tahun kenal aku, pernah duduk serumah dengan aku, susah senang dengan aku.
Diorang cakap, "Vee, dari dulu lagi kitorang dah pesan, belajar jadi selfish sikittt aje pun jadi lah. Kau asyik nak please semua orang, jaga hati sana sini. Lepas tu orang pijak kepala kau."
And alasan aku, satu perkataan aje. "SUSAH!"
Rasa susah dan amat tak selesa bila nak mencuba jadi someone that I'm not.

Memang kalau difikirkan sampai migraine pun, ada je orang yang akan keep on denying the truth even bila kebenaran tu memang terpampang depan mata.

Ada je orang yang mampu cakap apa aje asalkan hati dia puas. Fact is, deep down aku sedapkan hati aku sendiri dengan kewujudan kawan kawan yang lebih lama mengenali diri aku ni.

Kadang kadang tu, orang mudah sangat sangat tersalah sangka dengan sesuatu penyataan. Dan disitu lah kita dapat kenal orang yang mempunyai sifat seorang PENILAI.
Yang tak mampu berfikir dahulu, tak mampu fikirkan kemungkinan yang bermacam rupa sebelum membuat penilaian, sebelum bertindak melulu dan akhirnya menyakiti individu lain bila sebenarnya individu tu tak layak terima semua tu.

Tapi hakikat, manusia dalam dunia bermacam rupa, bermacam jenis..
Dan hakikat, setiap apa yang jadi pasti ada sebab nya...
Just stick with the truth..

Kita tahu Tuhan tu wujud. Kita tahu Tuhan tu adil.
Ye, memang aku tak baik mana.. But aku masih mampu sedar.

Selama ni siapa je pun yang pernah sakitkan aku, aku tak rasa aku pernah nak berbalas balas ni. Memang selalunya SABAR tu is the best thing to do in life. In this cold world. People can be so cruel at times. But no matter how, selagi mampu tu, kita tak harus jadi twice a monkey.. Biar je lah kan. Salah betul diorang tu, biar Tuhan aje yang nilai. Memang dah dalam hidup ni, Tuhan je yang lebih layak menilai...
Bukan kita sesama manusia..

Haih. wallahu'alam la..

Just my two cents

Sabau le

2011-05-15T14:29:00.004+08:00

Memang dalam nak berjaya or nak achieve something in life, kita sure kena go thru obstacles here and there kan. Dugaan nak ubah hidup ke arah yang lebih baik, memang tak mungkin akan senang..

Macam aku lah sekarang ni..
Orang kata, manusia ni memang selagi tak terhantuk selagi tu la dia lalai.
Haa, sama la cik Sabrina ni.
Tapi in the end kalau fikir balik, macam mana sakit pun bila terhantuk tu, kita perlu kejadian yang menghantukkan kita tu.
Dengan cara tu la kita dapat sedar kan.

Haih, the urge nak berubah tu memang kow kow la.
Dugaan pun boleh tahan masya'Allah nya. Hahahah..
Tapi sabar je la kan, sabar tu selalu nya akan jadi benda yang memberi pulangan yang baik.

:)

Bukan rezeki makkk la uols

2011-05-15T14:19:00.002+08:00

Bukan la sakit hati.
Terkilan ke terharu, aku pun tak sure...
Geram pun ada.
Tak puas hati, mungkin...

Bila kita dah ye ye cakap Insya'Allah pasni ada kalau ada la kaum kaum Adam yang muncul balik dalam hidup aku, mungkin boleh dipertimbangkan untuk jaminan masa depan. Ceh.

Tapi tuh la.
Orang cakap rupa penampilan tu tak penting.
But sorry to say aku cam rasa zaman sekarang ni kita kena memilih kot sikit sikit pun.
Zaman skarang lain bro..

Ye la tiba tiba yang datang, muka elok, lain elok tapi bertindik sana sini la pulak.
Macam jahat sangat pulak, sebab aku memang elakkan diri jadi manusia penilai, sejak aku kenal sorang hamba Allah ni yang sangat gemar menilai manusia lain.

Haih tapi tu la kan, jodoh bukan kat tangan gua.

Alah lagipun aku bukan nak pun berboyfren2 lagi buat masa sekarang ni.
It's too soon.

Buat memeningkan kepala otak je. Kalau menyenangkan takpe la jugak.
Baik aku sayang diri aku, family aku. Adalah lebih afdhal begitu ye dok? hahaha...

When it comes, it comes..

But for now, aku memang nak cuba sedaya upaya untuk delay proses proses tersebut.
Bukan nya aku tak boleh hidup takde bf ark?
Cukup lah ada family and kawan kawan dengan aku.
Takde nak mintak lebih dah sekarang.
Syukur aje.

Reporting in May :)

2011-05-14T06:04:00.004+08:00

Heyyy... Assalamualaikum, greetings everyone...

Omg it really has been months since I last updated my blog.
As usual, obviously so many things happened since the last post..
It's not like I'm gonna blog about every single thing, though..

I was jobless since the 1st of April, and I'm currently working in an office in Cyberjaya..
I'm still doing the training, passed my level 1. Being qualified for the 2nd level made me feel so thankful and happy enough. Alhamdulillah..

Some other things happened and slapped me back into reality.
Made me realized that I'm no more a kid, I have responsibilities. I need to take life more seriously! I been doing silly things all my life, yes I know at least I won't look back in anger or regret. There is no point to do so, it's better to look back, smile, and tell myself that "hey, at least I learned.. "There are always reasons for everything that has happened in our lives.
We learn, move forward with hopes for a better future ahead.
Without obstacles, I don't think I would simply take life seriously. All I can say is Alhamdulillah..

'Create your future from your future, not your past.' -Werner Erhard

If life is all so sweet and dandy, we gonna live a life that's full of negative aspects.
I am just so sure about that.

:)

But I just gotta move on with my life.
Learn more, be a better person.
Not to repeat the same mistakes all over again.
Identify where I went wrong, and try my very best not to let history to repeat itself.

Good morning everyone :) Just be safe where ever y'all are!
♥

Oh heyyy

2011-03-17T22:12:00.002+08:00

God it's been quite some time since I last posted anything on my blog and I do miss doing so.
I've been busy with work, I'm enjoying my work, love everyone here..
I'm currently single, yes.. And definitely not available.
I'm seriously enjoying this time of my life.
24 years old, and single.
Trying to live my life to the fullest.

Some things happened, but hey, whatever it is, it is very good to have my fam around, sticking with me no matter thru thick or thin.
That, matters the world to me..

One of my bestfriends, Tatak gave birth to a lil baby girl named Mea Maryam whom we happily called her MEAM!
She's a doll, adorable!
Finally, after years knowing Tatak who's like a blood sister to me, she's now happily married, and been blessed with MEAM!
I can't be happier for her.

My time?
Nahhhhh not yet!
Laters people!

pfft you

2011-02-07T20:07:00.002+08:00

= Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought.. Useless and disappointing. =

translation pls?

nak tunggu kau, nak harapkan kau berubah, ibarat menunggu hari hujan dalam kemarau!
tak guna dan mengecewakan.

bodoh!

Gila gila gila

2011-02-05T20:21:00.003+08:00

Do you know what hurts me the most?
Apaaaa yang palinggg buat aku sakit sekarang??

Aku dah habis baik.

Aku sayang kau lah bodoh!

Tapi kau gila.

Aku nak buat apa kan

Kenapa kau gila?

2011-02-04T23:14:00.001+08:00

Kalau kau tak gila, mungkin tahun depan kita dah boleh kahwin kan?
Kalau kau tak gila, mungkin aku sekarang tengah happy dengan kau lagi kan?
Kalau kau tak gila, mungkin aku pun tak gila macam ni.

ahhh bodoh lah kau

_-_

2011-02-04T22:56:00.002+08:00

I can love, but I can never be with him.
I don't even want to.
Not anymore.

m

2011-02-02T23:30:00.000+08:00

i miss you.

i am sorry

2010-12-16T02:25:00.000+08:00

I'm not trying to be mean.
I'm sorry but never did I expect you to fall for me so soon.
You came at the wrong time.
I've not recovered yet.
My heart is not ready yet.
I'm sorry I can't force my heart to love you when I'm still in love with the previous one.
I'm sorry its not that easy for me to let go of these feelings.
I don't wanna have to love you when I'm not in love.
I don't want to hurt you like that.
Its obvious how much you're putting hopes on me.
But its killing me more.

Pls, forgive me.
You know, when it comes it comes.
We just don't have to rush things, do we?

And you know, friendship lasts forever.
Trust me on that.

Again, I'm so sorry.
I hope we're cool

Forbidden Love

2010-11-29T03:54:00.000+08:00

Gosh it's hard..
God knows how much I'm suffering with these mixed feelings.
Do you even know how much it hurts?
How much it's killing me inside..
To love someone that I'm not supposed to love.
To miss someone that I'm not supposed to miss.
To think of someone I shouldn't think about.

I wish I could stop these feelings.
I shouldn't love him, I shouldn't miss him.
I hate him.

But I couldn't seem to find a way to get rid of all the feelings I have for him.

Despite all of these loving and missing, I'm pretty damn sure that he don't deserve me.
He can never be a permanent resident in my heart and mind.
He needs to go, leave my heart and mind.

Busy vee

2010-11-23T15:50:00.003+08:00

Okay so what's going on around me.

There goes my weekend handling the Bijou Bazaar.
At the same time I'm applying for jobs, here and there.

I'm still in Damansara, crashing at one of my BFF's place.
Will be having some other stuffs to handle in these couple of days here, since I don't wanna have to go back and forth from my place, and here I'll be again..

My berry is still in the 'ward'.
If they messed up with my berry issues, I'm definitely gonna kill them..
I mean the people who's in charged to fix it..

When everything here is settled, I gotta get back to Nilai since we'll be moving to a new place.
And mom has given me the task to paint the house, and not just the house, some wooden cupboards, closets and all.
Can't wait. Seriously, I've already had some ideas on how to paint it, or even giving some touch of arts to those stuffs.. Jyeah!!!

But simply put, it's been a busy month for me!

:))

2010-11-23T15:47:00.000+08:00

If I were to be the bad one,
how come I'm gaining more friends while you're losing one by one of them?

Current addiction.

2010-11-22T14:59:00.004+08:00

Originally by Bruno Mars.

Nak kahwin tak nak kahwin

2010-11-22T13:46:00.002+08:00

Sheeeeeesh.
2 days more, and I'm actually gonna be a year older.
It's not like I'm rushing things, but I don't know why did the issue of marriage sorta popped into my mind.

I'm single.

23 years old, and single.
That's the best part!
So cherish the moment, Sabrina.

Heyyyy

2010-11-22T11:34:00.003+08:00

Hey guys..
I'm here in KL since Friday night...
Was assigned to help Lisz at Bijou Bazaar which was helt at Solaris Dutamas during the weekend.
And I had so much fun at the bazaar, seriously.

Bought some nice stuffs, met some nice people..
Business was good, Alhamdulillah..

Think I might share some photos that I took at the bazaar later,okay?

That's all for now.
Y'all be safe! Toodles

Geng Jahat

2010-11-15T17:20:00.003+08:00

Hahaha.

Tiba tiba aku rasa bangga sebab kawan dengan korang.
Walaupun kadang2 aku mcm nak pitam fikir kenapa Tuhan lahirkan manusia mcm korang ni lebih2 lagi Keril dan Sani.

Tapi aku faham, korang istimewa.

Lagi baik aku jadi gila berkawan dengan org yg lawak gila daripada aku jadi gila kawan dengan orang yang busuk hati gila.

Memang tak dapat dinafikan, aku lagi preferrrr bercampur dengan abang abang bro mcm mereka ni drpd akak2 dan adik2 wanita yang majoritinya....... *tooooot* talian terhenti.

Katak dalam perut

2010-11-15T16:15:00.002+08:00

Makkk aihhh...
Banyak bunyik plakkkk...
Pijak tengkuk kau nak tak?

Suruh gi masak bagi alasan dapur tu tinggi plak.
Loncat2 aje la.
Ke kau nak aku masak kau and bagi kau makan diri kau sendiri?

Lapar la.
Menyesal tak beli aquarium.
Tak best rupanya bela katak dalam perut.

Humanity?

2010-11-13T02:56:00.004+08:00

People are turning into?

I been thru quite a number of situations where I got super surprised by what people could actually do to prove that they don't have any humanity value in them.

Cruelty.

He's here.

2010-11-13T02:42:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, we just don't need a man to love us.
Just one who can be a good listener to us, one who will keep confronting us that we'll be fine, and whom we could count on, to feel protected.

Love ain't necessary..

You just know, that he will be there.

Further up

2010-11-08T03:12:00.002+08:00

Yes Sabrina, no point of living in the past...
Hidup harus maju ke hadapan, bukan mundur ke belakang.

We move forward, not backwards.

My Deepavali :)

2010-11-06T23:41:00.003+08:00

Determination.

2010-10-26T15:49:00.002+08:00

Yes no one ever said that life is easy..
I've been thru life for almost 23 years now, and indeed, I never find life easy to deal with.
Been thru ups and downs- mostly downs.
But like I always said, I am the kinda person who strongly believes in blessings in disguise.

Along the way, I met all kinds of faces, all kinds of obstacles.
Yet I'm still here, living my life as it is.
Never give up hopes, and keep improving to be better.
Get myself back up from my falls.
Eventhough most of of the times I need to crawl, but hey everything starts from below, no?

But this is just a reminder for myself, to never ever give up hopes.
Gain more self confidence.
And try not to do things just to please others rather than pleasing my own self.
Since I just realized that that's what I've been doing all this while.
It is indeed so true when they said, the biggest failure in life is trying to please people.
You can never force people to like u, to love u, to look up to you.
Just be yourself, do what you think is best for yourself.
It's better to feel satisfied and celebrate your own victory.
Don't let people push you down.
Words can be daggers, and that's what they're good at.
Playing with words to push you down.
So let them be.
Live your life, Sabrina.
You have a verrrrryyyy long way to go.
Keep your head up, and never lose faith, and keep clinging to your pride.

Current Target.

2010-10-01T02:27:00.004+08:00

Oh DC5 Type R.
Insya'Allah...
Dengan hasil titik peluh sendiri... Amin amin yarabbal'alamin..

Hummegra?

2010-09-28T04:19:00.004+08:00

"I'm gonna work harder for an integra.."

but...

sampai mati la wa keje for this!
Chhhrrrrrrommmmmmme!!!!

Stressed out?

2010-09-27T03:09:00.005+08:00

They said, working in my current working place is stressful.
I know, and I admit that as the truth.
But as I tried to think as wisely as I can, and after a couple of jobs I had before, I tend to think that everywhere have issues..
And if I ran from one, I'll keep running from others as well.
So until when will I be running here and there, and not sticking to one right?
That'd be so immature and unprofessional.

And so I've decided to try my super, very very best to stick with my current job and just go thru whatever that might come around soon or maybe later.
I must have faith and confidence in myself.
If I don't have confidence in myself, how can I expect others to have confidence in me, no?

But still, the image of a vacation and a blue wide ocean keeps on running in my head.
:)
Just a couple of days off from work and get that image turned into a reality might be enough for now.
Seriously.

Update

2010-09-17T20:23:00.002+08:00

I've been superrrr busy, yes!!!!
My raya- I've been given 3 days off from work.
I managed to spend some time with both family and friends, Alhamdulillah.

First day of raya, for the first time EVER, I got up at 11am. They said they tried to wake me up but I got mad and my aunt even caught a video of me sleeping and scolding them in my sleep. Seriouslyyyy.. It never happened before! And plus hey it's raya.. There's alwaysss a way to wake me up! Pour me with cold water, hot water, throw rocks at me or whatever!! It's Hari Raya!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her new look???

2010-09-01T01:30:00.002+08:00

From the Photographer.

2010-08-30T02:33:00.002+08:00

Oh baby!

2010-08-30T02:30:00.000+08:00

Hantaran untuk saya.

2010-08-27T04:39:00.004+08:00

Stop & Stare

2010-08-25T01:31:00.003+08:00

Why do we sleep in the mosque, but stay awake through a 2 hours movie? Why is it so hard to talk about Allah, but so easy to talk about sex? Why are we so bored when we read the Qu'ran, but find it easy to read Playboy? Why is it so easy to ignore a Godly MySpace bulletin, yet we repost the nasty ones?
Why are mosques getting smaller, but bars and clubs are growing? Think about it, are you going to repost this? Are you going to ignore it, cause you think you'll get laughed at? Allah says:"If you think of me in your heart, I will think of you in mine. If you mention me to another person, I will mention you to one of my angels. If you talk of me amongst a gathering of people, I will talk of you amongst a gathering of angels.

"LAELAHA ELLA ANTASUBHANAKA ENNIKUNTU MINAZ ZWALIMIN".

Here is a test: if u love Allah, send this to ten people and see what He does for u tonight...

Happy Fasting

2010-08-24T03:09:00.000+08:00

SALAM RAMADHAN

Cuts.

2010-08-11T02:22:00.002+08:00

I knew it's gonna be hard.
But never did I expected it to be this hard and painful..

Hey, Happy Fasting to all you Muslim's friends and visitors.

Stucked.

2010-08-09T07:00:00.001+08:00

i miss you.
and i'm sorry

It Ain't Easy

2010-08-04T22:57:00.002+08:00

Tiredness.

Now I know how hard it is to work for a living.
When parts of my body starts aching, and before saya start complaining and all, tersedar sekejap yang segala penat lelah dan sakit sakit badan ni semua akan membuahkan hasil.. The answer is, mencari rezeki halal to go on with my life..
Untuk kurangkan beban papa and mama, bila dah stabil, diorang tak perlu lagi tanggung saya kerana anak bongsu mereka dah dewasa, dah bekerja, sedang dan Insya'Allah takkan putus asa untuk belajar bersikap bertanggungjawab dan berdikari..

For me, it's a lil hard. Some said I'm manjaaa...
I'm not independent.. Manja? Couldn't agree with that yet.
Not independent? Couldn't agree more with that.
It's a fact, I admit. I'm trying to get used to take some things seriously rather than main bohh aje and then terbabas, buat muka kesian..

But still, I think it's normal kot.
Nobody was borned perfect. People change as days go by kan..
Good to bad, bad to good, bad to worst.. People change..
Some people doesn't take long, while some- still crawling.
I'm prolly one of the people who's still crawling- to be a better person.
And to me, it's only the matter of time..

I ain't no angel or anything, never will be.
Saya hanya seorang lagi hamba Allah seperti anda anda semua..
Belum lagi laksanakan tanggungjawab sebagai seorang wanita Islam, anak yang baik, adik, cucu, anak buah yang baik.. Terlalu banyak tanggungjawab yang perlu dilaksanakan.
I still make mistakes.
And still, deep down, I'm trying to change things around me.
Siapa nak hidup tanpa haluan yang tepat dan baik kan?

Hopefully, everyone of us will have enough time to change and leave this world with such calmness.. Insya'Allah.. Amin amin yarabbal'alamin.

Just a random post. Just my 2cents. :)

Be safe people. Toodles!
WS.

Faith

2010-08-01T02:39:00.002+08:00

True..
God can change fate in a split second.
But no matter how hard it gets, I will keep reminding myself that He can never be wrong..
And that everything happens for a reason.
Blessings in disguise; no matter how bad the situation gets, something good must be there right ahead of us.
To reach all that good things, all that we gotta do is just be strong, keep our heads up high and face everything with lots of patience here in our hearts.

Be thankful. Be patient. Be strong. Be wise. Never back down

f.u!

2010-07-28T23:56:00.002+08:00

why did u have to do it?
i do not wished to know about anyone being hurt,.
but it's already too late now, no?

right now i just hate you!

for destroying everything. thanks tho

.

2010-07-28T21:01:00.001+08:00

final goodbye.

ush, usherrr

2010-07-08T17:17:00.007+08:00

The same issue on my FB and Twitter, blessing in disguise.
I was saying about how sucky it is to be back in the airport, but at least I got to meet Usher without the noise, without people pushing and crashing each other..
I don't have to struggle or jump to catch just a glimpse of him..

And, I don't have to spend my money on any ticket! :)

rinFINduFU!

2010-07-02T02:34:00.002+08:00

Silence of the black sheep.

2010-07-02T00:13:00.008+08:00

Oh heyyyy....
God!! Where on earth have I beeeeen...

It's been quite some time since I posted my last post down there...
And yahhhh I do miss all of you :)

So err...
My life's been okay...
Some things happened.
Those good and bad ones...
Well I guess, as a human being we do need those to actually live our normal lives, don't we?
But Alhamdulillah, without those bad things, I don't think I'll be as strong as I am today..
*giggles*

By the way...
I'm sorta having some issues with....
Hm... with the fact that I'm reallyyyy as old as my age..
Hahaha...
I mean, how fast is that..

Errrrrr....
Mommyy.. Do I actually HAVE TO get marrrrrrieddddd sooon????????

Owwwwwkayyyy now that actually did freaked me out a lil'..
Bahahahha..

So what's next?
Marriage, parenthood, get old, get sick.... and die..

Now that's life, innit?
Hee..

And there!
Just another silly post by me!
Just to keep my blog updated.. ;)

So yah, be safe where ever you are, people!

Hugs!

Misery.

2010-05-27T04:46:00.002+08:00

When my life seems to be meaningless...
I have been wasting a lot, a lot of my time going out and about, searching for something or maybe things that I'm not even sure what it is, or what they are.

Why do I often have these feelings?

- Left out
- Lost
- Miserable
- Lonely
- Upset
- Devastated
- Stressful

With all those feelings mixed up in me, I could act and behave like a demented woman at times.
I could actually be laughing and 3 minutes after that I could be crying all of a sudden.

Meaningless= when every single thing I do seems to go wrong, even thinking of doing what I want to do could make me feel it's allllll gonna go wrong!

Breathe Sabrina...
Breathe........

It's not about me being jobless- I've start searching for jobs- enough with my so-called holiday.
It's not about me being single- I survived this whole 10 months- nothing seems to be a problem; in fact I'm feeling way better compared to the last time I was in a relationship.

It's just not all that.

It's something.
Something that I need to get a clearer view of.

To do.

2010-05-15T08:43:00.002+08:00

Salams, greetings everyone..
:)
I just feel like blogging, tak sure nak post pasal apa..
But then yah, I'm still jobless..
Saya telah selamat dan dengan rasminya menjadi penganggur tegar for a few months already..
It's not that I feel great about it, but rasanya semua benda jadi ada sebab kan?
And not that I enjoy being stuck at home or going here and there tanpa arah tuju..
I do miss those working days..
From my retail job at Topshop, and being a hostess at some of the first class/business class airport lounges in KLIA.
I miss thinking what to wear everyday to work during those days in Topshop..
I miss my hostess uniform..
And most of all, of course I do miss all my ex-colleagues from both places.
Missing all the fun, the love, duties, and ALL.

Why am I jobless?
Hmm. Selepas berfikir dan berfikir, saya temui jawapan nya iaitu, saya tak ada hati nak bekerja. I mean, bukan sekarang..
And saya pun tahu memang tak best la kalau kerja for a few months, and then rasa dah tak ada hati and chow..
Oh no, bukan saya maksudkan yang saya nak menganggur aje, and harap parents saya tanggung saya lagi.
It's just that, I think I do have some dreams to achieve.
I'm more interested to continue my studies, and live life as a student as long as I can..
I mean, I still have a very long way to go, no?
So what's the rush.
I'm not even getting married or anything, I don't even have time to actually find myself a bf and all.

So yah...
I wanna continue my studies!
I wanna work on assignments and all..

It's never too late right...

Insya'Allah.
Everything's gonna be okay..
It's not like I wanna be selfish or anything, but I do agree with some people who has been telling me to do what I want, follow my heart, do what I think is best for myself.

I guess I don't mind trying.

Note to S _ L _

2010-05-03T22:31:00.006+08:00

A friend of mine called me up and let a lil bit of her heart out today.
She told me that someone important to her just asked her this, "Apa benda yang tak pakai dalam rumah ni?"
She wished that she could reply by saying, "Me.."
She said she already felt like an UNWANTED.
She's been keeping a whole lot of pain bottled up inside her.
I wished I could tell her stuffs to cheer her up and comfort her.
But no I didn't.

It must be hard.
It must have been hard for her..
It's like adding up more bruises to her heart.

Sigh.

Be strong, my dearest.

hear. me. out.

2010-05-02T19:58:00.004+08:00

Do you know that one, single word can actually cut someone deeply?
Do you even know that punishing a soul in silence is way suffering than beating the hell out of them?
Words can be daggers.
Tell me about it.

Why are you speaking to me like we’re total strangers?
Why are you treating me like we’re total strangers?
Why does it look like we’re already used of being so-called strangers?
Am I really a stranger to you?
If so, why can’t you just open up to me rather than leave me questioning myself for years?
If there shouldn’t be a bond between us, why didn’t you just get rid of me ever since I existed in your life?
If we are here for a bond, then why can’t I feel it?
If you expect me to be like some other people, why can’t you be like some other people?

But why do we have to expect someone to be another person?
Why do we have to live in hypocrisy?
Or exactly, why do I have to be dragged into another’s life which is filled with hypocrisy?

Why are you making me feel like I am here for no reason at all?
There was just a very dark past behind my existence?
You got me crowded with my own conclusions.

It’s no fun at all.
Forcing myself not to cry over my own conclusions.
Forcing myself not to believe any of those conclusions.

But fact is, still..
The feeling is real.
And I ain’t no superhuman.

I can be weak at times.
And lately, I got weak very easily.

Is there anyone listening?
Is there anyone who could talk to you and make you understand before it’s too late?

He's now officially 23 yrs old :)

2010-04-14T00:40:00.004+08:00

April 14th already..
:)
Happy Birthday, my love.

Happy 23rd Birthday...

And for the 8th year, my most important wish, is for you to be placed among all the good people that Allah has selected, there in heaven.
I hope you're right there, smiling down on me.
Like what you told me once before you went away, even after you die, you will always be with me, right?
And I believe you till this very second.

I wonder; if you're still around, will you be right here with me, on this birthday of yours?
I wish you are, you know :) .
But hey, no..
It's all fated this way..
Allah loves you more.. So he took you back to the place where you belong.
So I know, I can only accept it as it is.
I can only pray for you, keep praying for your happiness there.
And it's gonna be so wrong for me to blame fate.
Because Allah can never be wrong.
Whatever happened, He always have His own reasons and answers for all my "WHY'S", I know.

You're 23 years old now, baby..
And I love you for another age of your life, eversince you were 15.
Eversince that day you called me your love.

And baby I swear, I have never ever stopped loving you till now, 8 years already.
Never did I get you off my mind for a single day..
Those memories we had 8 years ago, all fresh in my mind.
All the feelings you left for me, all fresh in my heart.

And everytime, I remind myself never to missed to recite an Al-Fatihah for you.

Rest in peace, Faizal..
Again, Happy 23rd Birthday, L ♥ ve..
I'll see you tomorrow morning, alright sayang..
And as usual, some fresh flowers will be there, waiting for you okay??

Hug me with the wind, tell me you're always around.
I miss you, and I love you. I love you. I love you.

AL - FATIHAH.

Mohamad Faizal Bin Hassan

14.04.1987 - 31.08.2002

Snapped.

2010-03-23T04:35:00.015+08:00

How time flies..

So fast that I tend to missed the fact that I'm getting older.. Hee..

Being 23 in a few months time is not the fact that I could laugh at, or make jokes on..

Serious, macam agak terkejut bila terfikir yang saya dah hampir berusia 23 tahun.

Omg tua kan.. Haha.. Not a problem pun, but still an issue for me to get worried of.

I mean, I kinda think that I need to be more serious on life already..

Take things more seriously, such as my work, my attitude, my habit, my LIFE - all that relates to my own future.

Sampai bila nak macam ni? Not that saya ni terlalu menyimpang or anything, but rasanya semua orang berubah kan? To better or worst. But of course I'm heading for the better. We changed. During one after another stage of life.

Learn to deal with things wisely. Be WISER.

While thinking about how fast the time flies and all, a smile is now carved on my face. Thinking that I still have my fellow bestfriends around me.

Those who have been together with me through thick and thin.. Those who have been here with me when I need shoulders to cry on, those who will be all ears when I need to be listened to, and there were like so many good and bad moments that we been thru together- as BESTFRIENDS.

My Bestfriends?

They are a bunch of people that had successfully owned my trust. My love. My loyalty. My sincerity, and there are just lots and lots of things that I share with these special people.

God tested us with numerous of obsticles here and there, now and then.. Salah faham, hamba-hamba Allah yang datang dan cuba melaga lagakan kita, macam macam dugaan.. Tapi kuasa Tuhan kan, sekarang kita still boleh gelak terbarai dan nangis sama sama. Yes, realizing that I still have them at this very moment, still, all I'm able to say is Alhamdulillah.. I feel so blessed and thankful. Thank You, God.

To my fellow besties;

Tuhan je tahu macam mana wa sayang sama lu orang! :)

I'd just like to take this opportunity to write all this sementara aku masih berupaya, berdaya, dan bernafas, since ajal tak mengira waktu, tarikh, usia dan sebagainya kan :) True what, death can come at any time, at any way...

So yah, those times aku kenal each one of you dulu dulu- semuaaa memang confirm aku takkan lupa!

Yang kenal during school days, dekat tuition class, college days, and 'the apartment' days.

Bila fikir balik, they're kinda amazing. I mean masa, tempat, and cara kita semua kenal each other. Tak kira la semua tuh, but for now, I need y'all to know that y'all are one of the greatest, bestest things in my life, right after God and my family.

And there's just nothing more that I could ask from all of you. Sumpah, aku tak mintak lebih- bukan hadiah, bukan duit atau apa2 yang berunsurkan harta benda.. But just one, stick with me. At least try, try to stick with me as long as you can. I don't need y'all to tell me all your secrets. I don't need y'all to tell me every, single thing.. Just stick with me.

Based on apa yang pernah jadi, aku harap tak ada lagi parasite atau hamba-hamba Allah yang berhati busuk yang datang. But I learnt my lesson, and hopefully, if any of you been told that I've been bitching you behind your backs, or anything like that ever happens again, just PLEASE, PLEASE do refer to me before you take any action. I been thru that, remember? In the end, semuanya berpunca dari FITNAH. I don't wanna lose any of you just because of some rumors, or some bitch who will come and mess with us.

Ah sheesh, whatever- what's done is done, true. But I'd do anything to avoid history repeat itself. I do not wish to feel the pain again. The rage, anger, and all the bad feelings. I do not wish to have an enemy in my life.

And if ada yang aku buat salah, yang aku tak perasan and buat korang terasa hati or kecewa or sakit hati or apa apa lah yang tak best, FORGIVE ME FOR BEING SO DUMB AND A BIG FOOL for not noticing my own wrongs, and if benda tu effect our friendship, please excuse my dumbness and please, let me know.

I'm sure there will be more and more tests and obstacles waiting ahead of us, one or two might get our bond of frienship shattered, but stick together with me, and together we fight for our friendship. After all, it's all in God's hands. I can only pray for us, and try all I can to protect our friendship, to protect each one of you. And I can only do all that by having y'all together with me.

Sometimes, I do wish I could do more and more to please all of you. I wish that I would never, ever missed to get you expensive birthday gifts every year, I wish I could be there, right next to you EVERY SINGLE TIME I heard that you're not doing okay, you just got your heart broken, you're sick,- when you're feeling low, when you feel like the world just came crashing on your shoulder. During EVERY, bad and dull moments- I wish I can be with you and lend you my shoulders for you to cry on, and wipe away your tears, and always have something to say or do to cheer you up.

But for now, all that I'm so sure I have for y'all is my loyalty, my love, my concern, my honesty and my sincerity..

Honestly, God can take anything away from my life- but not my family, my bestfriends, and the people I love. I know death isn't something we could plan on and avoid. But trust me, death, or anything that's gonna set me apart from the people I love- will surely hurt me so badly. I'm sure I'd be dead to feelings. At least for a period of time.

P/S: Eventhough lately I keep saying that I don't wanna get married and all, but aku still ingat angan2 kita nak pergi shopping mall, and doing some other activities together when we're all married- shop for baby clothes and things for OUR OWN babies together (during our pregnancy)! Go to the market together sometimes, gym and all.. :) Yah, I kinda like those so-called plans, or angan angan, or whatever. ;P

My 3rd Baby

2010-03-20T15:36:00.004+08:00

Heyyy!!!
Yah I'm still alive! Still rockin' and kickin' it ;P
There's not much stuffs for me to blog about actually..

Oh but yah, I found another happiness. =)
My third so-called adopted baby..

The Baby-With-No-Name-YET down here hahaha..
She was borned healthily on March 11th, Alhamdulillah..
I fell so much in love with her eversince I first laid my eyes on her.
Yah all those baby smells, the cute soft voice she made, the superrr adorable little fingers- everyyything about her!

Okay so there, my new found happinessss yeyyy
;P

Better Not To.

2010-03-10T07:03:00.004+08:00

Heyyyyy!
I'm here, yahhhh I'm blogging..
I've been kinda busy lately--- hahahhaha nahhhh seriously, I been busy catching up with my good friends here in M Town..

What's new...
Oh the hair, not a new issue to me ;)
Yah, hello I'm Sabrina the girl with the short hair.. :P

More current updates?
Hm..
I'm not so sure how to put my current feelings into words actually.
I'm not even sure if it's a bad or a good thing..

But, I think I'm starting to feel this one particular feeling that I've been trying so hard to avoid.

Okay.
See, it's hard! :D

He has always, always, ALWAYS been there for me.
Thru good and bad times.
He will do or atleast try his very very best to provide anything I need.

But I can't fall in love with him or have the same exact feeling that he has for me.

Because.... He's my bestfriend...... Maybe I did, accidentally fall for him. But still, it's going nowhere. I don't mind losing a lover, but a bestfriend- no, I won't take that risk- not again.
Been there, done that. And it sucks! Hahaha..

I'm not actually in the mood to post anything, but I kinda forced myself.

Love is a feeling that I'm trying to avoid.
It's too soon for me to get involve in that thing called love.
Pffft hahahaha..

See ya!

Congrats!

2010-02-22T17:34:00.002+08:00

*chants* i like my new haircut. i like my new haircut. i like my new haircut......

eventhoughhhhh neverrrr did i intended to cut it this shortttt.. This is what we called, "si bijakkk yanggg malangggg".

Tahniah Sabrina.

Mushroom head wannabe or gonna be?

2010-02-22T04:17:00.004+08:00

Alright something bad happened to meee...

I don't know what actually happened or how did I actually took a pair of scissors and chopped off my long hair that almost reached my backside when I checked on it earlier yesterday..
Until last night, yahhh last night..
I got a lil bored, and thought of trimming my hair on my own--- justtt a lil..
But little by little, the hair that almost reached the backside was chopped til shoulder length.
Smart smart Sabrina :)

I know it's too late to regret. And it's lame to be calling upon a fairy god mother.

So I guess I'll settled with an appointment with my hairdressers, an urgent one! Tomorrow!
Get them to fix my hair. Short it's gonna be still, but as long as I don't look like a retard like how I look right now.
I'm trying to avoid myself from keep thinking what happened, keep wishing this never happened or anything.. I'm just gonna take it as it is.
My hair will grow sooner or later.
Things happened.

Smile Sabrina, smile...

It's not like it's the first time that you grabbed a pair of scissors and start chopping off ur hair.
Lol.

It;s just hair anyways lol...

Black hearts and dark nights.

2010-02-19T19:43:00.002+08:00

You see.
You saw.
You listen.
You heard.
And you judge.

Are you God?

You hate.
You flipped.
You make up rumors.
You brought up shit.
I just sit here and watch.

I don't judge.
I don't punish.
Because I ain't no God.

It's as simple as that.

Got it. U got me.

2010-02-19T00:15:00.002+08:00

I couldn't care less if you callin me names.
I couldn't care less if you judgin' me and think that I'm a sympathy and attention seeker.
I couldn't care less if you wanna be one of my haters.

What can I do?
Being someone I am not is just so not me.
No matter how weak I can be, how down I may feel like, holding tight to my own self principles will be my one and only main priority.

History may keep haunting me.
Past loves may have got me feeling all distracted at times.
Current mess may be adding up here and there, but here I am..
Still breathing.
Not giving an inch of space for you to cut me even more.

New faces with new hearts that I am not familiar with.
Expectations so high that it's hard for me to measure.
My own expectations went so high till I fall again back on the ground.
As expected.

It's too sooon.
Too soon for me to expect more.
Too soon for me to even think to crack a sincere smile.

Got the answer.
And I've got no other options other than accepting all that's already written.
Crystal clear.
I got it.

A river.

2010-02-18T18:57:00.002+08:00

One drop.
Another one, and comes another one drop of it.

I inhaled, and I exhaled..

Subhanallah........

Just like my tear drops, one after another mess came up and add up those that's already bugging me all this while.

Thank you God.
I believe there must be blessings behind all these.
Thank You, for all this current pain, I know I'm getting stronger each day.

2nd Day

2010-02-10T00:25:00.002+08:00

On the 2nd day in JB, I missed the breakfast.. But I got to joined everyone during our brunch by the pool and also the pool party, and yes not to forget... we also had our first yee sang for this year by the pool! 3 sets of yee sangs for all of us..

After the pool party, everyone went up to their rooms, some were hanging out at Aunty Munah's office.. While me and Baby, we conquered the whole pool.. We went for an almost 2 hours swim- seriously just the 2 of us.. We had such a pleasant time floating while staring at the clouds and the beautiful view of the sky above us.

Then we went back to the hotel, met some cousins who were ready to go back home.. While Aunty Munah told us to extend our stay since we still have another 1 day off from work. So after all the cousins left, back to Singapore and KL,.. The three of us stayed in the hotel room, dropped by Aunty's place.. And went to Danga Bay for their delicious tauhu bakar! LOL.

Aunty & Nieces/Nephews Reunion 2010

2010-02-09T05:57:00.004+08:00

It was a blast!!!

I spent 3 days and 2 nights at Aunty Munah's hotel. The first night was awesome! Our retro night went smoothly as planned! We had lots and lotss of great pictures, which I got tired uploading- haha yahhh they're alot!!!

I went to JB with my eldest sis and my bff, Bee. We got stucked for 2 hours in the bad traffic at the highway around Nilai to Seremban area. There was a major accident or something. We arrived quite late in JB, and spent the night at Setia Tropika, Uncle Zai's place. Aunty Yan wasn't around, but my grandmom and grand aunt were there, and I got to meet my cute baby cousins Adam Syah and Ammar Syah! Geramm!! We had our late dinner with them, and crashed!

The next day, we drove to M Suites, and was told to collect our hotel room access cards from the front desk. Refreshed ourselves, changed.. And then my cousin Amnie and their driver picked us up from the hotel and dropped us off at City Square for our last minute shopping.

After a few hours at the mall, the driver picked us up and sent us back to the hotel, and all my cousins were already there, waiting for us at the hotel's dining room while they were having their hi tea.

After the hi tea, some went to the ballroom, and did rehearsal, soundchecks and all. While some went up to the rooms and get ready for the event.

Everyone looked good that night! I became a hippie girl. LOL I love it. We had the opening speech from our Aunt. And our Jakarta cousin, Kak Yati. There was a montage of Aunty Munah, and all of us... And then there were 2 games. Putting makeups on 2 of our male cousins, and one bf of a cousin.. All 3 of them! It was so hillarious looking at them! Especially when they saw each others' faces after we finished putting the makeups on their faces. The second one was eating cakes with blindfolded eyes. LOL.

And there were performances from 3 drag queens that our Aunt invited. LOL . It was a blast seriously. Afterparty: we got the ballroom lights dimmed, and started to dance to the music.. And ended up sipping coffee at one table, all of us.. Chit chatting, catchin' up.. :)

Oh btw. I'll share more later ok.

Last but not least, thank you, Aunty Munah.. For organizing such an awesome event. And.. Alhamdulillah we arrived safely back home, and had such an awesome time while in JB.

Regards.

Ugly Facts.

2010-02-03T03:44:00.004+08:00

I don't know if you people noticed this; but I think rich people are getting richer, while the poor ones are getting poorer to the poorest!

I decided to post this based on what happened earlier today at my workplace.
Something got me snapped back into reality and make me voiced it out to one of my bosses. I told him the same thing; bout the rich getting richer and all.

Don't you think it's kinda funny..
Rich people are getting more and more privileges.
For example, those first class and business class airline lounges.
Only those who's flying business and first class are entitled to enter the lounge.
And for those flying economy, they must have this Gold card that people can only get if they travels alot, and it has to be started from a silver one. All those only BIG money can get.

So rich people get to eat for free at lounges. While some poor people, have to pay to eat. And most of the restaurants in the airport, they're like costly!

To be realllllyy honest, okay I might get fired if those bigger bosses of mine checked this post, but SOMETIMES, I do simply let people enter the lounge- those that were not entitled to be in there, obviously. It's just fooood~ Why be so stingy.

I think some rules have got to be changed!

It's not even close to fair!
Less fortunate people deserves more privilege and attentions!
But people are busy eyeing on tycoons, moguls and all.

Everyday, there are gossips on celebrities, models, and big fishes!
Why not switch all those attentions to the less fortunates?
Attention, and figure out ways to help them survive in this cold world?
Life's not fair to everyone, to me, to people like us.
But what about them?
It might be worst.
Has anyone ever think about it?

Y'all are busy thinking of politics, manicures pedicures, designer handbags and dresses, football matches- all on the news.
The drama's- seriously, the TV news nowadays are mostly talking bout dramas.

Some people out there deserves more attention.
And for myself too, doing my part as another human being, I'm thinking of ways to earn more, and share with some people who deserves better.
Don't snapped on this, please.
It's just my two cents.

Sometimes, I felt like it hurts being me.
But looking at them, it hurts even more than the burdens that I'm carrying.

Take a walk along the streets that you never wished you stepped into.
Look at those people along the street.
One who's feeding their kids with others' leftovers.
One who's holding a cup, begging for some pennys that you refused to give as if they're asking you for an RM5000. One with only a pair of leg. Look deep into their eyes.
And do you think the feeling that you got while looking at them is exactly how they're feeling? There's no need to try to dig deep down inside their hearts.
Even with just a gaze, can you feel how I felt?

I might not be the best of human beings.
But day after day, one after another issue changed my mentality.
Little by little.

Believe it or not, it's obvious nowadays, people are doing charity to gain more in return. Such as more attention, more money, more press conferences, more fames.

Is there at least a lil bit of sincerity left here nowadays? I wonder.
Sorry.

RWMF 2010

2010-02-02T15:29:00.003+08:00

I guess it's still too soooon to be talking bout the event.
But for RWMF you just havvvvve to rush before you end up missing some good things and all..
In fact, for this upcoming RWMF, my uncle and his wife will be going too..
They already booked their ticket.
It was cheap when they booked theirs..
But just a few secs after I told them to add another booking for me, the price actually got marked up and I was like WTH?!!

It was superr cheap earlier!
Sheeesh..

Butchyeah, heard that it might be marked down again sooner or later.

This time, me and my friends are planning to save our budgets and all so we are considering on being a bunch of backpackers in the middle of Kuching town.
It's not a big deal if we end up camping around the Waterfront area or along the Damai Santubong beach, whoooo caressss...
But I'm still hoping for Ejan to make it there, I love her place in Kuching!
Going on a sampan that costs only 50cents!

I just don't wanna miss anymore performances and also the 1st day workshops and all.
Last year, I missed watching the Ewah Bulan one-sided percussion, Akasha, Moana & The Tribe and moreee great performances!
I so don't want history to repeat itself again! LOL
But the performance from the Morocco Troupe was kinda good too..
And the Mayang Ulek performed by some Kelantanese lady and the musicians actually gave us goosebumps!
With her voice and all..
In the middle of the forest some more..
LOL.

But it was fun, mud fest!!

So people, if you've never been to RWMF before, seriously it is some kinda not-to-miss event. Bring your friends, families..
It's a good vacation too..
Kuching Sarawak is a niiice place to chill your mind as well!

Mee kolok the best! Cheap and dap-ooooo!!!!

Better book your flight tickets and hotels or whatsoever ASAP!
See you there!

Fluvial.

2010-02-01T06:03:00.003+08:00

Things are flowing as normally and smoothly so far..

Myself, I been doing alotta thinking and talking with some close friends.
Not gossips or whatever but plans that needs real actions.
I have to agree with so much things that they've got to say about me.
Lisz even tried this neurology thingy and did some sorta personality test for me.
And I can't seemed to deny most of the things that she said from the result of the test.
Seriously. Co-incidence it might be, but since I think they are more to facts, or some are even ugly truths about me, I tend to figure out that something must be done.
This is a sign of growing up or something I don't know.
Even for the ugly truths, I actually felt more relieved thinking that I've got to take actions and step forward and change things that needs to be changed.

Faiz said I must stay positive.
Or maybe he meant to say, "Learn to be positive", since he noticed that I am a negative thinker kind of person.

So based on the personality test that Lisz did for me, the result says that I'm confused. A follower, an honest person. Owns a very high limit of patience. Sensitive. Easy to forgive. And tends to be shy at times. Occasionally, maybe lol.

Well, one thing that I am sure that I haven't been doing for quite awhile is, staying focus!
I keep on jumping to this and that plan.
I also got lost easily in my own mind tricks.

Hm, and one thing that I'm looking forward during the upcoming reunion in JB is, my aunt will be getting her friend to talk to me.
Talk.
Might it change something, at least one issue- I just hope so.
She said she's gonna get my mind digged.
Maybe that's the whole point.
Get me to focus on ONE single thing first, and work for it.
Action.
Action speaks louder than words!
Yes. Yes. Yes.

Insya'Allah.
Things are gonna be okay and hopefully wayyy better for me.
Amin.

Hello teardrops.

2010-01-31T18:51:00.002+08:00

Wow crying really got me relieved.
It's been awhile...
:)
It feels good.

I am me.

2010-01-31T00:46:00.003+08:00

It's good talking about me, isn't it?
It's good trying to see me fall on the ground.

Well, I ain't no God to punish you.
I ain't no God to even judge you especially when I don't even know you.
That's all that I have to say.

I'm still gonna lead my life.
And if talking about me satisfies you, and if bitchin' around about me is one your life's routine, then go ahead.
I am a nobody to stop you.

I'm just gonna do my part, for my ownself.
My life has never been about doing paybacks to people who obviously having issues with me. I'm still keeping my own principle, I just don't mess with people especially strangers.

Be what you want.
I can never care less.

It's your life.
I ain't no preacher to brag about life, God, karma and so on.
You've got your own believings, you've got your own brain.

But yah, thank you =)

Countdown!

2010-01-30T02:43:00.004+08:00

One more week to go til' my Aunty-Nieces&Nephews reunion!
A cousin will be coming down all the way from Jakarta.
Those in OZ couldn't make it.
Singapore, most of them will be coming!
Superb.
Can't say that I'm excited already til I get my retro dress since the theme selected is The 70's! And and there's already a list of activities that will be held in our aunt's hotel during the event.
Free and easy, high tea, retro night, pool party, performances, and the best part is- she came out with the rule- NO PARENTS ALLOWED, accept for herself. Lol.
Oh and yes, there will also be some sorta 'health talk'? LOL.
M Suites JB, herrre we come!