It hurts with or without you. I do know you're still there waiting and longing for me when at the very same time i am also very sure that if i ever decide to go back, its gonna lead me to the very same chapter of my life that i keep on reminding myself to get rid of.
But i do, i really do miss you.
It's hard being me. When i love one person, it seems so hard to let go of the feelings no matter what happens. No matter how i know i'm gonna get hurt again. All over again.
In some love songs, they say 'I think of you every night and day', that's exactly what's going on in my life now.. It's like the thoughts of you comes together with almost every breath i take. I think of you more before i fall asleep every night and i think of you when i wake up every day. Or even when i got woken up in the middle of my sleep.
It has always been you, you and you. It seems like the thoughts of you keep on coming more often when someone else tried to be into my life. I just can't. Even being without you forbids me from seeing anyone else. It hurts so bad that i love you so much but the situation is just not right for us to be together.
Yes indeed, if i have the power i would change everything. I can either pick to be with you without having to face any obstacles or being without you, and not feeling bad about it at all. But the truth is yes, i don't have that power. I don't have any control over it.
They say, 'this too shall pass..' But the process is kinda killing me inside.. Having to love someone who loves me back.. But for some reasons we just can never be together.. What's the end for us?
Patience is good. But patience also equals to pain...
And yes, i do love you. Never has it changed.