Sabrina - Vee Zalani

Monday, August 31, 2009

Merdeka Eve.

The night you left me..
7 years already.
This is crazy.
Seven effin years.
Seven years of sniffing your shirt to sleep.
Aint that sweeeet.

I miss you.
I do miss you so much.

You're in a better place.
I keep reminding that to myself.
You're smiling down on me.
Telling me things will be okay.
Telling me I'll be just fine.
Telling me that I deserves way better.


Al-Fatihah, may you rest in peace Love.

I'm holding my tears from dripping down.
Too many tests.
Too many obstacles.

Let me see you in my dreams. Grip my hands tightly and tell me that you will always be around. And that whenever the wind blows, that is you, protecting me, in your arms.

Stop it Sabrina.
Just stop it.

I love you.

Easier yet harder.

I'm used to keeping things bottled up inside me.
And I will keep doing that if it will be the best for people around me.
I won't tell if they're hurting me.
I won't say a word.
I will swallow.
Like what I usually do.

Heh. Thought I said never will I repeat the same mistakes.

Haven't yet to learn.

Tidur Sabrina.

Happy Independence Day.

As we all know, there weren 't any celebrations with fire crackers and all since it's the fasting month.

Ejan invited me and Lisz to joined them at The Curve. Thought there was something going on, people/ mat and minah remps and others were crowding the fountain area at The Curve.
I was with Kak Linda, Lisz, and Sarah, and we met Amy Kecik, Ejan and Mus.. We finally decided to make our moves to somewhere else. So we drove to KL. To NZ. Had our supper, chitchats, and went back home.

The traffics in KL were bad. There were lotsss of motorcyclists, kids, mat rempits.
It was dangerous, they will harm other road users.
We managed to find a shortcut and reached NZ safely, Alhamdulillah.

Nothing much though.

I met Nana at the store earlier.
We talked.
Until we sweat.
We were gosipping.
I was fuming with angerrr.

Ah whatever.............

Im working morning shift tomorrow.
And I have a dinner/ buka puasa invitation at Chinoz KLCC tomorrow.
Then I might be going out with some friends after that.
And then, I might crash..

and and.

ah go sleep

Sunday, August 30, 2009


If you wanna lie, be smart enough to lie.
Don't trip too fast.
You gonna get yourself busted with your own stupid moves, idiot.

Just like how you came to me when you found out that I've been talking to one of your victims.
Why, lover boy?
I'm so sure that you're afraid that I might tell her what you told me, and she'll be doing the same, and we'll figure out how unreal you are?
And why do u came all nice at first and then you got pissed when I didn't replied your message asking me why was I talking to her?
You made your own conclusions.
Which ended up to be true.
Now I know, and now she knows.

But still..
You're so damn good at twists and turns.
You can always cover up your dirts, got your victims still sticking around you.
It's not like I've never been there and done that.
And this is not the first time I remind you; the world won't be revolving around you forever.
Luck won't be on your side every single second.
Bare that in mind.
I believe you're not that dumb.
Or maybe, God has returned the favor.
After calling me 'bodoh', 'bebal' and etc etc for numerous of times, they might turned out into some sorta curse on you.

I told you, my life here ain't as easy as you think.

My current love?
We don't text each other all the time like what I used to do with you.
We don't call each other up just to check if we had our meals or anything.
And it's weird when I actually feel happier, and some feelings that I never thought existed.

Ah be gone.
Just be gone.

p/s: go ahead bitching around about me. but talkin about my bf makes you look more pathetic, u know? because I tend to think that bitching on someone you don't even know is a stupid thing to do. you're just making a fool out of yourself, fool. I'm not defending my bf or anything, but who the hell are you? Good or bad he is, did he ever asked you for money? Stop looking for troubles man. Especially when you're not even thru with me yet.

Crystal clear.

I'm sorry I failed to provide you half of the money for you to get a new car.
I'm sorry I couldn't afford to get you a new phone.
I'm sorry I couldn't get you the lame Emporio's watch even it's on 15% discount.
I'm sorry I couldn't get you the extremely lame Onitsuka; mini cooper's edition.
I'm sorry that I have to remind myself, that you owe me almost 500bucks especially when I know now that you lied to me to get me spend the money on you.
I'm sorry but I think you're pathetic to talk about engagements with 3 girls (as far as I know), in 2 months time.
If you're tryna act like a fuccin casanova.
Well I guess you succeeded.
I do see you like one now.
A cheap, low class casanova.
One that's depending on the ladies.

I just cant keep this any longer.
I can just keep your name from my blog, for now.
It all depends on you.
How far you're going, testing my patience.
Keep going if you want to.
I've made my first move.

Keep the money.
It's called charity.

You don't know me quite well yet.
Or maybe you haven't seen a part of me that will only appears when I can't take bullshits any longer.
Looks may be deceiving, my dear.
Trust me on that.

Oliver TWIST

Twisting and turning.
I strongly believe that that's what you're doing now.
To gain trusts.

It's up to the people around you whether or not to believe you.

I am just so damn glad that I'm already here, at the stage where NONE of your words can get thru my head anymore.
Your talks are cheap and never will I buy it any longer.
Your talks are damn cheap.
Right as cheap as you are.
C H E A P.

You talk too much.
You brag too much.
But at the end of the day, you are completely ZERO.

Too bad I just realised it now.

And stop trying so hard to speak English, please.
It's good that you're trying.
But it's bad when you're only good at copying and pasting others' words when you don't quite understand what you're saying yourself.
That will make you a fuccin 'biter' man.
Stick to your mother tongue.
Just like what you are, a mama's bwoy.

So hush.
Daddy's gonna get you a new car.
Mummy's gonna give you your allowance even until you got your own kids.


RM490, is that part of the money u're using for your new life.
I guess you gonna owe me till the day you die.

You know how your mom and dad will drop tears seeing you at clubs?
Seeing you party like there's no tomorrow?
Or if they could smell the fuccin alcohol on your body?
And how your breath stinks with it?
I don't even think that they will recognize you as their kid.

God is great.
For taking me back.

And everytime you make up stories about me, especially those like I've turned wild eversince I stay here, it sounds way pathetic because I see that in you.
That's where our classes lies.
You, from the lowest.
I have no doubt where you get that kind of mentalities.
Where the hell do you think I came from to get all fuccin excited with KL.
K to the hell yo!

The stories that you made regarding me, it sounded most likely like what's gonna happen to you.
In fact, there's no need for you to be here and go wild.
That's what you already are now.

You fuccin disgrace, I worked pretty damn hard to build a life here.
To buy food for myself!
I cut my shopping list, I gotta pay for my car.
And you simply came with a twist and turn and got me spending on you.
Have you got no feelings left at all?

I seeked sympathies for a living, you fag!!!

Fuck it im flaming with anger,.

Mind my language, people.
I apologize.
It's dedicated to one so-called perfect person. Or to be more exact- an evil.
And I feel a slight relieve typing these down.

You're a sinner.
A fuccin sinner.
Everyone is.
But u're on top.
That's what you fuccin are in my eyes now.

I'm sorry everyone.

No sorries at all to the fag.
I won't call you a son of a bitch.
Because your mom is wayyyyyy nicer.
I think they must've picked you up from a garbage can when you were a baby.

Stop yelling at your mom for money!

No seriously.
I am flaming.

Slow, blurry and super nice. You know who I am. You know what I was. And you know who fuckin changed me. And I know those stories you made about me, you just had to. Because you're desperate. That is why you told me to stop messing with you when the last time I checked, you were the one who kept coming. As if you have no pride, as if your skin is wayy thicker than the wall.

Don't say I didn't warned you.
Once, twice, thrice- you tested me more than a fuccin three times.
You can't even imagine what will happen when I start taking actions.


Here comes the hardest part.

When I have to bury the feeling of hate.
The feelings of hatred and disgusts.

When I have to gather my faith and remind myself not to be twice an asshole.
That one particular person is a big time asshole, indeed.
I'm being clear here.
A fuckin asshole.
The most disgusting demon with a human mask.
Should've listened to everyone earlier.
It's too late to regret.
But now I know.
IT exists.
IT is way even worst than a devil.
A big disgrace.

Check what I got left for you.
Hidden revenges.
Ones that I'm still forcing myself to bury deeply in me.
As deep as the cuts.

Yes, I have so much hates in me.
Believe me.
If I let myself in it too much, I might change into a monster.
One that you've never imagined I could be.

I have so much disgusts in me.
That if I let it in too much, I could've spit on your fuckin face.

Looking at you now, brings more and more disgusts.
You are the biggest humiliation on earth.
Keep that.
That is what you fuckin are.

God is giving you the time to smile now.

Then smile.
Appreciate what you have now.
Live your fuccin sweet life.

Why do I have to pretend.
I dont like seeing you smiling.

I don't wait.
I won't wait.

But I do believe that I'll get to see something being twisted by God, with satisfaction.
And then, everyone will realise, who deserves the fuckin sweet smile.

It ain't you..

Laugh on this post.
Call me whatever you want.


s a b r i n a


Gembira kan?
All smiles, all happiness gathering around you.
I'm watching.
Just like you're watching me.

God knows.

Allah SWT.

Don't trust me.
I ain't got no power.


I ain't that good enough to brag on about religious issues.
But I believe in Him.
I believe He's around.
I believe He's watching.
I believe He knows EVERY, SINGLE thing.

How long can you be happy after you killed someone internally.

Never forgotten.

Now that's a promise.

Cry ME a river.
One day.

One very fine, calming day.

Keep smiling.

Keep laughing.

You got what you wished for.

If you're smart enough, quit testing my patience.
Because that's what you've been doing for the past couple of years.

Ye, aku blur. aku lurus bendul.
But let me say this one thing that you won't get to hear everyday.
Blur I am, but add more flames, and you'll know that YOU FUCCIN MESSED WITH THE WRONG FUCCIN PERSON.
yea im nice.
k a r m a

- come what may

God made me,
to be someone who's very sincere in love.

Now it's troubling myself.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

:: Selamat hari raya ::


I was out having my supper cum so-called Sahur at Uptown earlier with Lisz, Ejan, Sarah and Ulul after work just now.
I thought I could find a stall selling icecreams, with lots of flavours there, but too bad I was wrong.
I ended up ordering a glass of soursop iceblended.

Was craving for ice creams for quite some time already. I had Walls' last week, but the one with a stick.
I want icecream in a cup or even better in a bowl.
In my head now, names like Baskin Robbins, Haagen Dasz and New Zealand Naturals are happily dancing, tempting and inviting me to go grab them a.s.a.p.

And I'd love to promote the homemade coconut icecream at Phad Thai Restaurant,USJ Taipan. USJ 10/1C. A Thai food restaurant.
Fatin is one of the people behind the place, running some stuffs on the restaurant.
Went there once with her, and she was the one who prepared me the icecream. With extra toppings such as ground nuts and some colorful, jelly-like pearls (like those pearl tea's), and small pieces of jackfruit.
It was damn good! I had 2 bowls of them. And it's just not enough!!
It's irresistable!

Icecream.............. icecream..
Oh how I want you.
I know I'll be seeing you in my dreams.

Thursday, August 27, 2009


I suddenly feel so much hatred on someone.
Never did I know I was tested this much.
If I don't stay strong and keep my faith with me, I might be insane already.
It was too much.

A single soul that tortured me over and over again.

It feels like I've been tortured since the first day I was borned.
That much.
Now imagine it.

And each one of the wrongs he did doesn't make him look like a human being to me.
Worst than a demon.


You are not a human.

And if only your parents know what you did, I'm sure they won't believe that you're that very same infant they raised since 24 years ago.

I'm done and im out.

Cry me a river :)

I love smiling nowadays.
Even when everything seems to be on the wrong track.
Even when I'm on my way wondering and searching for the right one.
Even when people around me got me feeling so low.

I smiled watching people dissin me.
I smiled lookin at myself sitting quietly watching them without taking any actions.
I smiled thinking that I'll be twice a dumbass if I decide to do paybacks biz.
I smiled watchin them trippin and lose in the game created by themselves.
I smiled watchin them pointing fingers at me.
I smiled watchin them trying so hard to see me fall..

I might be hanging on a cliff one day.
But I'll be the biggest fool if I'm still expecting your hand to reach for mine and pull me back up.
Because as always, you will push me right back.
For a thousand, five hundred and thirty six times.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

And the world comes crashing on her shoulder again..

I was feeling so down.
No, releasing some stuffs that I intended to purchase from the store is not such a big deal.
Since I've already made it clear to myself, that I need to learn to avoid myself from being a shopaholic.
And I don't care how much I'm still in love with that black dress eversince it first arrived and how I was willing to get the M size which is the smallest left. I grabbed it calmly from the RESERVATION rack, and put it back on sale. And I chose not to look at it everytime I passed by the rack. See how strong I am. :)

It's just that, some people must be feeling disappointed with me. Especially my dad. Since I promised to pay for my car. And procrastination has always been my biggest self issue. I hate it! And I hate it when I can't control myself from it. And as I've thought so, it leads to worst and worst issues.

Now that I've decided not to get anything for myself with my coming salary, except for petrol, food and all (not clothes, shoes,etc), I actually think that I've made quite a wise decision.
Eventhough I actually have to get a new pair of shoes for work, I managed to find a place which sells cute, CHEAP flats!! Not just affordable, but CHEAP!! Who cares. I don't need no Manolo. Lol tiba tiba.


I won't say that I enjoyed being broke all the time eversince I'm here. But, there's this weird feeling you know. I don't think I was good at being thankful and appreciate things and money before. Like what my mom and dad used to tell me, "It's because, none of the things were purchased by your own money.."
People fulfill my needs. Even those unnecessary ones.

Now, I believe the sayings; Cari duit bukan senang... Habis kan, memang sangat senang..


I'm crawling......
one very fine day, I'll managed to stand on my feet and run.
.......................... maybe even faster than you. =)

Psycho'ing it is, then...
Sorry. But when it comes to Sabrina, smiles don't usually last long. People who bring smiles to her, won't last long.. Maybe she's cursed? :)

I'm complicated then.
My situations are super hard for you to cope with then.
I have nothing much to offer, but ONE very strong feeling that people nowadays tend to neglect.

Monday, August 24, 2009


I'm checking out Christian Louboutin's site and got kinda amazed with the concept.
There were a pair of shoes in an egg like glasses and when you pressed Enter, the glass will break and the shoes will go flyin or something like that.
But I think the font color is not interesting.
Just a simple black, red outline and all.
Reminds me of some silly websites created by me and my friends during Web Publishing class in college.

I wish I wish.

Wish list. Ehem. Here it goes;

Ed Hardy Men's Industrial Love Kills Love in Black

Ed Hardy Pandora Bowler - Ivory Ed Hardy Bags

Ed Hardy Women's Mermaid


It mushroomed.
I'm in love with no high hopes.
I've learnt so much lessons in my past.
Promised not to repeat the same mistakes ever again.
But can I actually keep that one particular promise?
It's beyond my power to control this feeling.

I love him.
Eventhough our love life ain't as perfect as everybody else's.
I guess I'm sincere.
Like before.

But it's the other half that matters.
Whether or not they feel the same way.
And it's alright.
They said, never ever put hopes.
High or low.
It kills.
Hopes kills.
We'll end up killin' all the love we have inside.

I guess I'm still young and there's still a long journey for me to go.

I love you E

Sunday, August 23, 2009

- sick mode.

I've been given an MC for today..
Went for a checkup at the clinic.

I think it's been so long since I last had this kinda fever.
Last night I was shivering in cold eventhough my body temp was heating up.

My head felt so heavy like it was filled with bricks.

Even at work, I almost collapsed.
Headache, body ache, my chest hurts so bad, its kinda painful for me to breathe.

But I'm so glad that the doc didn't even mentioned about the dangerous disease.

Matter is, it gets even worst at night.

I need my fam.


Im actually sick, again!
Got a lil freaked out after checking out my body temp.
Just pray so that I'll get better tomorrow.
Because I'm like so damn weak right now.

And, babe I'm so sorry. :(

I gotta try and catch some sleep I guess.
Pray for my recovery, dear peeps

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Woot woot. puasa!!

It's 2.28 am, the first day of puasa is finally here.

I got to feed myself my fav sotong kangkung at uptown tadi.
Rasanya bulan ni aje hampir every night muka kami di sana.
Sotong kangkung and mata kucing punya pasal.
So terjadi la suatu malam sebelum berpuasa di mana saya, mr E, Ejan, Lisz dan Sarah menghabis kan masa di Uptown sekembalinya dari kerja dan ada di antaranya yang datang dari rumah, dan dijemput dari rumah. Hee ok tak faham.

By the wayyyy, my notebook is finally healthy again!!
Thank you Mr E, you're far too kind, you are phua chu kang.
And I love y.o.u~~
Yeay lepas ni dah tak perlu memborrow2 notebook Lisz lagi.

Dengan ini, saya berjanji untuk bersara dari bidang meminta simpati dari sesiapa sekalipun, berkaitan hal apa sekalipun.
Saya akan mencuba sedaya upaya saya untuk tidak menyusahkan sesiapa lagi walau dalam keadaan sedar mahupun tidak sedar.



God is great. He must have been planning on something good for me. Something better is ahead of me. I have to go thru all the obstacles to get the taste of that good thing.
I know I know..

Have faith.

Goodnight people.
Happy Fasting...
I miss you, Papa.
I miss you, Mama. =(

Kena wake up at 8am, the latest!!!!!
Kerja kerja kerja!!
Shopping shopping shopping!!
( hehe kidding la. Papa kalau baca ni mampus aku kena siku. Banyak lagi tanggungan nak kena fikir. sheesh.)

Oh btw.
I'm not a shoppaholic.
Never was pun.

:D Percaya lah.

I'm reminding myself ni.

Haha gnite.

Salam Puasa.

Friday, August 21, 2009

*sad face*


It's 2.08am, and I'm having this kinda feeling that makes me feel like a lil child.
I miss my parents and I feel like crying.
It's been 3 months already, since I started working here in KL.
But as the fasting month getting closer, I finally feel so depressed!

When I was in Melaka, having only RM1 or even just some coins in my purse won't be such a big deal.
But currently, I've lived with Rm4, and the worst was RM3 in my purse. No no, there were times when I have ZERO money with me.
Until I came to a level where I stop myself from texting mom and seek sympathies from her.
I tried.
I have to accept the fact that I can't live with people granting my wishes all the time, forever.
That way, I will never get to learn to stand up on my own feet.

Yes, my first year having to berpuasa without my family around.
And my first time having to use my own money for my own Raya stuffs.


Insyaallah, I will manage on my own.

"Mama, papa, I will prove to you that I can be independent and won't trouble you anymore."

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Amma Appa

I miss them.
I want to turn back time.
I wanna be 5 years old.
I want dad to piggy back me.
I want mom to feed me my meals.
I want relatives to pinch my cheeks.
I want to be a kid with both of my parents next to me again!!!!!!!!!

Stepping Stone.

God, the time is indeed, flyin so fast.
The fasting month is seriously just around the corner.

And I just realized that this year, it's gonna be diff for me.
I'm away from my fam.
I can't be with papa, wandering around the bazaars buying food for breakfasting.
I can't be there at home and wake him up for Sahur.
Maybe I can.
But just for a day or two when I managed to go back during my one off day.

Ah it doesn't feel right!
Thinking of it makes me feel like resigning and go back home.
But I have to work, and the salary here is okay, better than those in my hometown eventhough it was never enough.

Will this year's Hari Raya brings some diffs too?
Never can I be too sure.

I've already applied my leaves.
Ive been given 2 days Hari Raya leave.
Which we have to choose whether to start on Raya Eve, or start with the second day of Raya.
I've chosen Raya Eve and first day.

Breaking fast with my Muslim colleagues.
New experience.
I don't know what to expect.
Sometimes, I have to admit I got homesick.

Maybe I'm used to having everything I wanted, having my important people around me.
But now I'm just not.
And I'm still tryin to get used to all this.
It is seriously still hard.

I feel like cryin already.

I miss going for Terawih, meeting my college mates at the mosque.
Sometimes go to bazaar with my friends..
Feeling tempted to food together.

WTH i'm sad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, August 17, 2009


I'm planning on a day trip to Melaka.
Visit some important people for awhile; daddy, my granny, my grand aunt, my youngest uncle and his fam.
And then, ...................

1) Nyonya asam laksa Jonker Street
2) Portugese Settlement: Uncle Joe's mango juice. (I'm sure he's wondering where I've been)
3) My fav ever chilli cockels at Melaka Raya.
4) Asam pedas + kerang rebus
5) Ikan bakar.

Still planning with my baby and some friends tho.
Hope we could make it before puasa.

Hometown here I come!!!!!!!!

Got it right.

What you give is what you get, seemed to be quite a famous quote.
But to me, let it just remain as a quote.
A line of words.
Beautiful lines of words.

I used to think it was true.

But now, I realised that I guessed it wrongly.

What I gave, is nothing at all what I got back in return.


On the current, it's all beautiful.
No hopes tho.
*all smiles*

Sunday, August 16, 2009

And I miss...

Yeah you spoiled me.
You used to come meet me and accompanied me during my break time and treat me for lunch and dinners and all.
And I hate it when you said NO to my money!
Yes I know my salary is way too little compare to yours, but we need Gives & Takes okay babe.

You bought me my first Dooodoll, and I don't even know what to give you in return.
Since all I have is love.


New Zealand Naturals.
I'm so gonna treat you for some icecreams with my coming salary.

Sounds lame.

I wish I could treat you at Tony Roma's like what you did.
Takpe, ada ubi ada batas.

Wa dendam sama lu sebab bayar kan our dinner.
Even my sis and her bf tak puas hati sama lu tau mat rempit!


Nah i love you.

And I'm super nuts.

I blame YOU.


I was kinda pissed with some people at the mall today..
Okay here goes the story.
I was working full shift today, so I've been given 2 break times.
During the second break, I was alone, and I decided to just go tapau a Roti Boy, fruits and iced tea at Melaka Corner.
After buying my so-called meals, while I was walking back to the store, I saw some people staring at some kinda scene, and there was a crying voice came from a little Chinese boy (8-9 years old) sitting on the sofa nearby Baskin Robbins.
I already walked passed the scene, and I turned back to check what the hell were they all staring at.
After I saw the crying boy, and it was obvious that he was alone, I decided to turned back and approached him.
And then I, got the people's attention.
And got stared as well. WTH.

So I asked him,
Me: What's wrong with you.... Did you lost your parents?
Kid: (mumble mumble; I couldn't catch what he was trying to say, because he was sobbing at the same time.. But I was thankful and glad enough that he was willing to talk to me, as some kids nowadays have been told by moms and dads; not to talk to strangers- not blaming them tho.)
Me: Do you want me to help you find your mummy and daddy?
Kid: (nodding)
(I took his hand, and he stood up from the bench and followed me)
(while walking..)
Me: How long have they left you?
Kid: Em... About 10 minutes already.. (sobs)
Me: Where did you last saw your parents?
Kid: (pointed at one of the boutiques nearby)
Me: Okay, let's go in there and check just in case your mummy's tryin' on some clothes..

And there the mummy was, at the fitting room.
She wiped the tears from her son.
Me: So everything's ok right..?
And the mom thanked me.

So there..
While I continued walking to the store, I wondered, how can those bunches of people just stood and stare at the crying boy.
He was just a kid, harmless.
And it was obvious that he was lost.
Why was it so hard for them to asked him what's wrong and all.

Why can't they just put themselves in the kid's shoe, or the parents?

People nowadays are getting weirder to weirdest.

No la,.
I've been there okay.
I mean, I got lost in a mall when I was like 7 or 8 years old.
That time was the launching day of Mahkota Parade, and there were people performing dances and all.
And I got excited and ran away from my fam and I lost them!
And I cried, while wandering around in search for mom, dad and my sis.
Until a Chinese fam saw me, and did the same thing I did to the boy I guess.
While walking with them, we bumped into my fam.
The Chinese lady even asked me for confirmation if I really knew them (my fam).
Yeah dad laughed at me.
I think I looked so cute that time.
Wearing a colourful striped polo T's and a pair of khakis short.
Yerrrr.. Gua ingat!!

Ok dah enough of the missing boy..
I miss you, LOVE!
Hahaha tiba2.

Tadi kerja full, esok diberi kerja morning.
I love you more lah Mr Manager.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Mail for the dead 3

Assalamualaikum Faizal..

I don't know what to say actually.
I guess you've seen them all.
I got knocked by the same person over and over again.
But can you see what I've become right now?
A stronger person, love.
A strong, faithful woman.
Still sticking to my strongest principle of patience.

There must be some wise reasons why I've been given the name Sabrina.

I'm seeing someone new.
It's been 15 days already.
He makes me smile alot, you know.
He managed to make me gather all my strengths back and move right on, not looking back at all.
He washed away all my pain.
I'm in love again.
Yes I know, I can't believe it either.
Everyone thought that it will be hard for me to get over the crook , as always.
But I guess my patience with the crook has finally come to and end.
It's been years since I've been treated more like rubbish kan?
One that you can throw and pick it up back again.
I got blinded so much.
It's no use to regret.
I've learnt my lessons.
But I'm not worried at all you know.
Watching him desperately bitched around about me.
Making up stories about me.
It made my day.
You know I'm not the kind of person who enjoys pay backs kan.
Why be twice a monkey?

Hey, I do miss you.

Still have your shirt in my arms every night.
Never did I let my mind off you.
No worries sayang.
No worries.
I know it's been almost 7 years since you left me and gone back to the place where you belong.
Where we all belong.
Yet, I'm still here, missing you.

You know I will never ever forget you.
August 31st, 7years.
You left me.
It was hard.
But I managed to accept the fact that God loves you more.
And I do believe that you're in a better place.

I miss you.
And I hope all is well with you there.
I gotta go to work in the morning tomorrow.
Will write to you again.
I miss talking to you baby.

Al- Fatihah.

there she goes.

Hehe. Unhealthy. Some old pics. Kantoi tak gua bosan?
Dah la tak tidur tidur lagi.
Esok dah la kerja full..

Sergeant misai, sergeant misai.........................


Have I ever mentioned that I sometimes cry when I miss someone?
Yes, and blame love for that.
It's not like I'm weak or whatever, but it's a beautiful feeling that could make me smile while tears dripping on my face.
What more can I say.

Baby I miss you.
I miss you E.

Thursday, August 13, 2009


To be really honest, living on my own is hard.
The life that I'm living, currently.
Lack of this and that, short of this and that.
A hard experience.
But I believe the hard things in life would be the ones that will lead to good things.

Yes I might be weak in your eyes, make it easier for you to fooled me all this while.
And yet, I still don't do anything to you.
I don't make up stories and bitched around about you.
I've told you before, one day I'll just be gone in silence.

But one thing for sure, never did I know that it will make me feel so peaceful and I got my freedom back.

promises are made to be broken. but one, single promise is meant to be kept safely
now check on mine

The Wheel.

Terus la tabur fitnah.
Afterall, it's between them and Allah.
It ain't me.
I ain't nobody to judge or punish.
And to those yang percaya dengan fitnah, I don't have anything to say to them.
Just one,
God's around.
My life ain't about you you or you.
But The Almighty.

* luck won't always be on your side. life's like a rollin dice. one day you're 3, and one day you're 5 *
and the world will not revolves around you everyday

Thanks love.

Last night, (August 11), I was busy hanging the new stocks arrival at the store's changing room and all of a sudden Lydia, my SIC shouted for me, excitedly. I thought there was a phone call for me or something, so I rushed to the cashier counter until Ken, (my colleague from Topman)
came to me with a brown, printed paper bag package. And they said 'He' dropped by and asked Ken to passed the package to me.

It was seriously unexpected so I confidently called Ken a liar. I took the package, and it felt like it was filled with soft plastics which I assumed would be those plastics from the new stocks. So I hit Ken with the package while keep on calling him a liar.
Until Lydia started to swear on God's name and all, I slowly, curiously, open the package.
And there was 'it', a cute Charco in another Dooodols bag.

I was speechless.
He did came with a couple of friends to teman me makan during my break time. And I thought he went back already. He even waved me goodbye and all.

So there, my first Doodoll to start the whole collection of Doooooodollllssss!!!~
Mom's giving hints on getting me 3 of them.
I'm waiting. Lol Lol.

Oh btw u people should've seen my car. I got dooodolls ad's sticked on the windscreen, yes, ad's, not stickers.
When asked, why do I like them so much?
Because they are doodled monsters!
I love doodles. Dooodolls look stupid! Funny. They cracked me out just by lookin at em.
So the hell, I got my own reasons.

And Charco is a character for my star sign, Sagi.
And it says...

Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21)
Dark as night, Charco is an oft-misunderstood creature. While he can set things ablaze in a fit of furious anger, he is also extremely shy and introverted, with only the purest of intentions.
(make it SHE la..) :)

Okay, enough of the Dooodoll. =)

I was out having dinner with Lisz and her sis a few hours ago.
And while I was driving home, there was this biker, overtook my CLK ( :P cute lil kancil la.), and he was riding his bike real fast!!!
I was wearing blue, and he was wearing blue.
And and.
I think he look so hot, I mean on the bike.
And with that speed.

That was hot seriously. Hahahahahaha..
Ini mat rempit ada gaya laaa ;P

Nak kenal boleh tak?
Tapi helmet macam pernah tumpang dekat my work place aje.

Kiddin kiddin.

I was so excited to blog on something, and I know I ended up crappinggggg...

Lol so?
Ada aku kisah ?


* keep talkin shit about me. "why be twice a monkey "*

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Welcoming our new sayanggggg...

It's a boy!!! .. again!!!
welcoming the new pride and joy of my fam..
Baby with no name!

The art of....... ?

I am not pretty...
I am fat....
I walk like a giant.....
I have pimple marks on my face, even he noticed the rashes..
I am dark skinned...


He makes me feel so beautiful..

I will remember that very moment when he said, "I love you, Vee..."
all of a sudden when I was driving and he was sitting next to me... In my CLK (cute lil' kancil) :)
And all I was able to do was smileeee...
He makes me smile alllll the time....

He makes me laugh...
Like hell!
He cracks the hell out of me..

I can't be moody when I'm with him, because he always care and keep asking me whether I'm okay or not. =)
I feel lucky..

Sekaranggggggggggg... baru gua tau perasaan ada orang teman gua break!! haha. Toodles peeps!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Crazily in love, again.

the feelings of being treated like a princess???
Priceless, beautiful...



* wa tak pernah rasa ini maciammm worrrrr*

Hahahahah.. Seriously.
It's all so beautiful.
He makes me feel beautiful and appreciated.

Now I know what it feels like having someone waiting for your lunch break time just to spend 1 hour with you.
Kuasa Tuhan, : "miracle happens.."

Sampai one of my colleague asked me, "I seriously wanna see the guy!"
And when I asked her why, she simply said this, "Yea la I nak tengok siapa orang yang buat kawan I ni happy sangat.."
Awhhh.. :)

And today, I danced at the store.. :)
I smiled...
I sang......

No hopes.
No promises.
But God, thank you for sending him to me.
The pain is ALL GONE.

Now I can seriously wake up every morning with a smile.
And close my eyes with a smile..

Can't wait to see him again.
Eventhough I'm always blushing. Lol.

nite everybody!!!