Thursday, December 25, 2008

and there goes another soul..

It's 6am.
And I've just received a news somewhere around 4 am, a bad one. one of my uncles texted me saying that my one and only left grand uncle passed away at 3 am.
Tok Yahya, that's what I called him.
3 yrs back, i used to have another grand uncle, whom I called Tok Dua, whom i've been living with since I was a kid.
Since my real grandfather passed away when I was 2mths old.
and my Chinese one passed away wayy years ago before that.
From staying at his place, until he stayed with us at this house that my father bought for the family, and until, he passed away of stroke on Sept 9th 2005.
That was the hardest moment in my life.
God knows how much i love him, how much everyyybody loves him.
He used to go all around town riding his bike, helping people sending wedding invitations to houses- without expecting anything in return.
He will be at the coffee shop after Subuh prayers, and sometimes someone will come and ask for his favor to help them paying bills, or sending this and that stuffs to someone else, and he'll say YES, a YES MAN he was. paid for his teh tarik, and straight away ride his bike again to do his chores.

He used to spoiled me, bought me my first bicycle when I was a kid.
took me on his bike, put me in his motorbike's basket and will take me to the malls.
just to buy me toys.
and he'll say, "jgn ckp dengan papa.."
maybe he's been told not to spoil me too much.
and when i grew older, he gave me money. since he and his wife has no child of their own, their nephews and nieces will give them money. and he'll give me some.

I know its not good to cry over a dead person.
but the day he died, or the very morning that my sis woke me up and said ATOK DAH MENINGGAL, and i had a lil trouble wondering which ATOK that my sis was referring to, when I should know which one, the closest one, the one that we still called ATOK.
And when I finally got my strength back, and i realised who my sis was referring to, i didn't cried at first, i walk back and forth in the living room, sat on the couch, and then i broke down.

it was somewhere around 4-5am, my dad came back from atok's house, where he was spending a few days at- his own house. where he was so excited welcoming his guests from sabah, he had a good and tiring days before that. taking his guests to the zoo, and some other places in melaka, taking photos.. Last ones...
until that morning, he was attacked by stroke.
dad and mom went to his place after receiving a call from the sabah guest, thought it was nothing.
and then they called the house, and told my sis the news.
when my dad arrived home, he called for me and my sis.
i was ironing my baju kurung, with tears dripping on the clothes.
he showed us my grandfather's card holder, one that he took with him everyday in his pocket with his wallet.
there was a picture of my dad, an old one, a picture when he was a little boy.
and papa said, "Tengok macamana dia sayang papa.."
And then he cried, my dad cried while hugging both of us.
We all cried in his arms.
it was a hard fact to be accepted.

When I arrived at his house, with all the relatives and neighbours already there, i was still crying, even when i tried to stop, to show some respects, it got even worse, it's like crying inside, and all the bones in my face started to hurt so much. i went into the bathroom, and called Bee, my bestfriend. I broke down again when i told her the news. they all knew tok dua, he has been a funny man to my friends, to everybody!
Even the pak imam, and the other mosque ppl said that the graveyard was filled with some sorta scents, like the smell of flowers as they were burying his body..

i recited surah Yassin twice for him.
I sat right opposite his body, and kissed his head a few times while reciting the surah.
even when im typing this right now, im crying.
i misses him more.

just a few days before he passed away, when he haven't went back to his place, i remember this one night. i did what i usually do, covering him with his blanket. but that night, he said this, "alah.... cucu atok. atok sayang kau. Tuhan panjangkan umur kau cu.."
He used to called me Adik, but that night he kept referring myself as CUCU.
a grand uncle, but one who gave me the real feelings of having a grand father.

and after he passed away, there was some times when Tok Yahya will come to my place or likewise. and i will salam him, and kissed his hand. and there was once, i ran into my room right after i kissed his hand. the smell of his minyak attar, reminded me so much of Tok Dua.
I sat in the room crying.

And today, I lost the person whom i thought was a shadow of tok dua.
and now, i can only remember them in my prayers.

Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke ats roh nya. Dan semoga roh nya diletakkan bersama roh roh orang yang beriman.
Al Fatihah.

8 comments:

Pen Hilang said...

Salam Takziah. *Al-Fatihah*
Banyak bersabar ya..

Sabrina Vee Zalani said...

Thanks babe.
:)

Rubina Yunal said...

innalillahiraji'un.

takziah Vee. I sure know how it feels to lost the people you love most.

May they rest in peace and in our Lord's blessings and love. You must stay strong, just like you always do.

Sabrina Vee Zalani said...

Thanks kakak. :)
And you can stay and keep reminding me to be strong like u always do. :)

Yanie said...

Vee... sorry to hear da news la..
ko kene kuat mcm aku yg kene extend lg 1 sem ni.. huhuuh

Sabrina Vee Zalani said...

haha. boleh je tu, insyaallah..

Naddy Razman said...

Innalillahiraji'un!
Takziah! When i read ur blog, naddy sebak sgt & ada nangis skit :p
naddy teringat my late grandma tapi yg pergi ttp akn pergi, kte yg ada ni kna teruskn idup. cheer up k yayg? ;)

Cheers,
Naddy

Sabrina Vee Zalani said...

yah.
thanks yayang. :)
sedih kan..
huu