Sabrina - Vee Zalani

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Movie Madness?

Well hello, I just came back from Jonker Street, had dinner there.
Before that I went to the movies and watched Twilight.
Yyeap, I think I loveeee the movie.
Totally in love with the whole story.

For guys, ehm- like the guys who joined me earlier, I don't know if they're being hypocrites or what, but they said the movie got them bored!
Yah coz most of the scenes were mushy and romantic and all.. Gahahahha..
Might sounds weird, but to me, the movie is like the second sweetest, most romantic movie after Romeo & Juliet.

At first, Edward Cullen-the hero, he doesn't look so handsome or good looking to me, (at first!), but slowly,.... when he talks, and ehm, the stare of his vampire's eyes, gosh! I had that feeling of being 5 years younger, drooling over celebrities! Gahahahah..

But, one thing that really melts my heart from the movie, was Edward's character, which was so protective, a character that a girl usually needs most from a guy. Sighhh...
I'm crazy, but I feel younger, yeay!!!

Here are some scenes that made me smiled :) :

- When Edward and Bella's eyes first met.
- When Edward came to Bella's room out of nowhere and said he loves watching her sleeping.
- When Edward leaned towards Bella, and explained to her they're not supposed to be friends.
- When Edward and Bella was talking on a tree. Suwweeeet.
- The way Edward was trying so hard and keep saying that he'll do anything to protect Bella.
- The way Edward said, "You're like a drug to me. You are like my own personal brand of heroine" - something like that.
(Correction: "Your scent is like a drug to me. You're like my own personal brand of heroine". I thank someone who posted it on her blog. Yey :) )
- And, the weirdest part is, I think the way Edward drives the car is also HOT!. LOL

And I just called my dad and asked him to find me the DVD.
It might not be out yet, but at least he knows I want it, so maybe even next month, if he saw the DVD sold anywhere, he'll remember that someone wants him to get it. Hahahah...

I can't stop playing back some of the sweet mushy scenes from the movie, in my head. Hahahaha..
It keeps on playin, and I'm so lovin' it.
Tee hee..

Oh whatever, for those who haven't watch Twilight, go go! Hehehe.. Especially girlssss!

Ok, here, I've add the trailer.

And I also love one of the soundtracks, which is Full Moon, by The Black Ghosts.

Those eyes! The stare!!! *melts"

And he look super cute wearing the pair of Wayfarers!


I am not even sure whether or not I'm denying.
But I can't do anything about it, and even if I can, I chose not to.

Yes I might not go nowhere if I keep denying.
But I've chosen it this way.
How's that.

Sad Sunday

Bosan la.
Jom migrate.
Pergi cari pasal dekat Carribean Island ke.
Macam best.
Pergi sorang.
Lagi best.
Duduk sorang, tak menyusahkah dan disusahkan orang.

Penat la.
Penat gila.

Levyeww.. :)

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Wake Up.

Days passes by..
And so many things happened ; slapped me back into reality, again and again.

Talked to a friend.
And I thank him, for trying to guide me so much in life.
And I have to admit that I haven't seen the real life, real world, real PEOPLE.

He was right, when he said I shouldn't keep blaming.
Instead, I should be thankful with what I have, what I had.
And I truly believe, yes again, I know, some people out there are dealing with much harder situations than mine. Dealing with harder parts of life.

- Eventhough I didn't get to go to the college I chose, at least I'm in college. When some people didn't even get to go to school.
- Eventhough I didn't get the freedom I wanted, at least I'm protected, and it shows that my dad cares about me so much.

I got a car when I was 19.
Some people still walk, and some people have been walking for years.

I complained, blamed here and there, at least I got a complete family.
More than complete.
A father, a mother, a sister, uncles, aunties, cousins, gradmothers and aunties and uncles.
When some people are alone, lost their families in catastrophes, and all.

Why the hell am I complaining.

Well, I guess..
I will get a clearer picture of life, as I go thru every and each day of my life.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Morning morning morning!

Hahaha gila blagak sebab bangun pagi!

I'm still having this fever and I feel weak!
But I have to be strong, I can be stronger!
Fight the virus!
V is for vitagen!
Ok crap.

Look at the time, oh 9.16am.
I got up at 8am, with nothing to do..

Well yesterday, I had an evening class.
But since I finished my work at 9.30, the class was considered dismissed lah..
So I packed my stuffs and went down and I saw some people gathering in the lobby and outside.
It was the other students who will be going for a 4days 3nights camping at Cameron Highland.
Oh *enviness*.

All my life, I have never, ever go to campings!
Not even at my own house garden.
Lame ke?
Nah, tak ada rezeki.
But this camping trip that my college(not exactly, MPP kot) organized this time, caught my attention.
Too bad, I know I can't go even without asking anyone.

So I just hangout with the ppl for awhile, keep on cursing them because I can't go!
Since their busses arriving at 10pm, one of the person in charge keep telling me that I still have 30 more mins to go home and pack my stuffs and join them.
I was like, KAU GILA?????

So I finished my cursing session and wished them,to reach there safely and all, and walked to my car.

Jealous okeh.

Oh btw, my lecturer approved my final project clothing logo!!! Yeay!
Thank you KERILAYOT!
It's time to work on the billboard and ALL!

Cuak nya.

And semalam, seorang mangkuk bernama Wawan telah menelifon saya pada pukul 11 pagi semata mata sebab dia bosan queue kat Pos Office berdekatan rumah saya dan dia nak ajak lepak!
Boleh plak kan.
And I just said, TIDAK! Aku baru bangun, x mandi lagi, demam, tak larat bangun, muka macam orang dalam pantang!
So I said I have to passed.
Mangkuk betul, out of the blue pulak.

Thursday, November 27, 2008


Last time when I was at primary school, we got free tix to theRoyal London Circus.
If I'm not mistaken, they're free.
Or maybe, if you have the tix, you'll get special discount or something.
And I remember sitting in the big tent with cotton candy in my hands.
I can't remember who took me there, though.

I don't see any sign saying that they're coming to town again.
But 2 years ago I remember me being shocked almost to death when I saw a man pulling an ELEPHANT by the ROADSIDE.
It's not what you witness everyday okay.
I mean, if it's a goat, or a cow, I wouldn't be as shocked as I was when I saw it.
But an elephant?
Not a Dumbo, but a Jumbo!
A big one la gila!
But I laughed like hell then, thinking how did an elephant managed to being pulled by the roadside!
And then, I saw the camps, tents, or whatever- and cages.
With lions, monkeys, tigers and all kot.

Last time, if I bumped into any of the clowns, or show girls, or boys, it was like meeting a celebrity!
I went bananas!
Jumping and all "Oh look look!!!" expressions.

But hey, the next time they come, I'll make sure I'll go there, with my bf.
Who cares!
I wannit I wannit I wannit!

Tee hee..

(Demam melanda dan mangsa demam merapu)

Hitam Hati

Syaitan bertopengkan manusia.
Tu je yang mampu aku gelar pembunuh pembunuh kat atas muka bumi ni.
Memang tak ada pedoman, tak ada iman, tak ada hati perut.
Yang merogol, dan membunuh mangsa rogol diorang.
Yang mencabul kanak kanak...
Ya Allah, sumpah weh, mana pergi perikemanusiaan diorang nih..
Benda macam tu, tak payah fikir panjang pun boleh tahu yang benda tu tak patut kita buat.
Semakin gelap hati manusia sekarang.
Kalau lah binatang diberikan akal, malu kot dengan binatang.
Malu dengan babi.
Malu dengan hanjing.

Memang dalam hidup aku, aku pegang satu prinsip ni sekuat mungkin.
Manusia, tak boleh menilai, dan menghukum sesama manusia.
Tuhan yang satu je layak buat semua tuh.
Tapi malang sekali untuk manusia manusia yang bertopengkan syaitan ni, atau sebaliknya.
Hilang agama, mungkin.
Kalau tahu agama, kalau percaya kewujudan Tuhan, mana mungkin mereka mampu jadi sekejam tu.

Tiap hari ada aje benda benda macam ni.
Kadang kadang, sampai terkedu aku mendengar berita, membaca suratkhabar.
Tak sangka.

Memang manusia akhirnya patut malu dengan binatang.

Kes pukul.
Sampai mati.
6 orang pukul seorang.
Terbayang bayang dekat mata aku ni.
Macam mana lah mangsa tu menagih simpati, meminta belas masa dipukul beramai ramai tuh.
Bayangkan pun dah cukup sakit.
Apa pulak perasaan mangsa tuh, atau lebih tepat ARWAH tuh.
Biar apa sekali pun salah yang seorang manusia tuh buat, kita manusia langsung tiada hak untuk menghukum dengan cara membunuh tu.
Tak masuk akal bagi aku.
Dan setiap kali aku dengar dan baca pasal benda mcm ni,
aku cuma mampu berdoa je, moga Allah jauhkan musibah musibah, benda benda macam ni daripada aku, keluarga aku, kawan2, dan kenalan lain.

Yang salah, tetap salah.
Tapi kenapa tidak biarkan Tuhan je yang menghukum.
Dan kalau lah pergaduhan tu terjadi disebabkan seorang perempuan,
kau tak percaya jodoh ke?
Kalau ada jodoh tak kemana.
Dan kalau dah tak ada jodoh, dah takdir tetap kan macam tu.
Semua yang jadi pasti ada hikmah.
Dan kalau kau ada agama, percaya Tuhan, percaya Qada' dan Qadar, kau tak buat semua ni.

Dan aku, bukan niat nak menilai.
Jauh dari sudut hati, aku simpati.
Aku bersoal sendiri, kenapa sampai begini jadinya hidup kau.
Apa yang pernah kau lalui hingga kau jadi sekejam itu.
Dan aku malu, kerana aku juga manusia seperti kau.
Kalau aku panggil kau binatang, aku juga binatang.
Kalau aku panggil kau syaitan, aku juga syaitan.

Kita sama, manusia.
Tapi hati.....

Tuhan je maha mengetahui.


Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Tragic life?

I'm watching Miami Ink, and there's this man..
I think a midget kot, not just a midget, mcm a little handicapped, kot.
I dont really know how to describe his condition.
But something like that la. Hehe..

As Chris Nunez was painting the tattoo on the man's hand, as usual, he'll be asking what does the design symbolized.
It was three small doves.
And the man said, it symbolizes the doves on his mom, dad and grandmom's coffins.

His mom was murdered by her ex boyfriend..
And his father committed suicide, and his grandmom has been supporting him all the way.
Tragic kan.

And now, he's a music producer.
See, everybody could be on top, a midget, handicapped, anyone.
As long as you keep your head up, and keep standing tall no matter how the world come crashing on you. :)

Just sharing..

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


Symptom symptom demam yang sering saya alami;

.:Soar throat
.:sakit perut, keluar masuk toilet (paham paham sendiri okay)
.:hidung rasa ringan, tapi nak sok sek sok sek jugak
.:mata rasa ketat, kesat dan kelat
.:mata merah
.:badan panas (paling senang nak tahu la dah kena serang)
Tak best nya.

And my friend Alwi called me just now.
He asked me, how come I sounded more sengau than usual, (mmg gua sengau).
And I said I'm catching a fever, and he advised me to go for a checkup, there are so many viruses nowadays..
One of his friend's mother just passed away.
Just a lil fever, and the same night- she was gone.

Btw, I got a news.
Bad one.

I used to know this guy, know him just like that, not so close.
Firdhaus aka IQ, from Ruffneck Clique, passed away on the 23rd Nov, at 3am.
I'm quite speechless actually.
But, just praying that he'll rest in peace.

Yang hidup pasti akan pergi kan.


I believe, everyone, every couples, every family, will go thru ups and downs in life.
This and that obstacles.
And it's normal right.

I'm getting older.
And there's a fear of growing up actually.
Maybe a lil.
But does people around me feel the same way too?
Afraid to see me growing up?

I don't know.
But if they do, all I can say is,...
Every day, every one grow up.
It's a good thing, people get maturer, I will get maturer.

Imagine how my heart looked like when I received this text message from my father. :)


It put a smile on my face, and treat strat dripping when I read it.
I was out, texted him telling me that I'll be back home a lil late.
And that was what he replied.

Oh yes, how my heart looked like?
Extra, super fragile.

How can a daughter, or a son, not love their father.
How can I not love my dad.
no matter what, no matter how the world treated us or come crashing, you will always be my one and only father.
One that raised me up with disciplines.

No matter how sick I am with all the rules, I will still try to be an obedient daughter to you, as long as I'm not married, as long as I am still your responsibility, I will always find your hand for me to hold.

Even a son of a murderer will always forgive his murderer father, and stick together, and tell his father to stop.
Everyone make mistakes, u do, i do, we all do.

But as long as we have our family sticked together thru thick or thin until the end, I'm sure we can go thru it all. I love you papa

Monday, November 24, 2008


Everything's been good.
Nothing has been planned, and at the same time, things are running well..

I went to Quiksilver just now, and as I opened the glass door, Pop saw me first, then everyone started singing me Happy Birthday song, and I think I blushed. I am a big time loser in handling stuffs like that. My baby just stood at the counter and giggled and then make fun of the song. Damn you. Gahahaha.. I just said thanks shyly. SHY. Yeah! I am a shy person. Bahahha..

All those heartaches that I been through before, since yearrss ago are starting to change. To the better I guess.. Some people changed. I just hope it lasts. Insyaallah...

Well overall, I had a blast.
My 21st birthday was a blast.
You lovely people who wished me here in Blogspot, SMS, un-countable people in Facebook, and MySpace, thank you for all the wishes.
I truly appreciate them from the bottom of my heart.
God bless each one of you too..

Lots of love,
The WOMAN herself.


Thank you, IFFAH!
And I love the song.
And I love u too.
Thank you Jojot, Kerol Gecko, Elsa, Uncle Jay.I, Uncle Amar, Jj hitz, Cecheng, Abg Wan, Liyana, Wilda, Ayu Rina, Shereen, Atong, Bad and Mywa..
Thanks alot.

Dah ada FB, semua kat FB je eh! haha.

November 24th Arrival

Exact date and month but not year.
Yes its my birthday today.
Not excited or expecting for gifts.
Its just the same as any other days, everyday.
We all get older every seconds.
But I do have a wish list, doesn't even look like a list- to be exact, as it only contained ONE wish.
And that would be, my days ahead will get better and better as I get maturer.
And that is that.
Not handbags nor car or even a key to freedom.

Twenty one, just a couple of number I got since 11 years ago.
It's all the same.
Like honestly, I am not a person who look so forward to birthdays.
To me, again, it's just like the other days.
People will be wishing, giving things, and then it's over.
So, there's nothing for me to be excited for on my birthday.

Btw, thanks to those who wished me. :)
Thanks sayang, for the gifts.
2 boxes, melampau la awak! Lol. I still love you tho, with or without gifts.
No objects or money currency could compete your love which means alot more to me.

Yes I'm getting older, and no I'm not getting married nor engaged yet.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

JB- Nov 22nd

Just came back from JB for a kenduri at my aunt's place.
We made our move from Melaka at 11++ am, and reached JB somewhere around 2pm. By that time, we've got some noodles and kuih served for us outside. And then my aunt's hotel staffs started to arrange things for the event/ceremony or whatever..
It started with the ladies' Marhabban session.. Somewhere after Zuhur, if I'm not mistaken. Tee hee...
After the Marhabban, we finally get to eat real food! Bahahha.. And Kerel, this time tadek lamb chop plak ah!! Gahahhaha.. Tapi....... Ada beef kebab yang mengundang kaw!!! I took a small amount of nasi beriani, and 4 pcs of beef kebabs. And then I went out, took an empty plate and add some more kebabs, and had it just like that. Yumminess!

Somewhere around Maghrib, the gents' session started with Maghrib prayer.. And a few doa recitals. And then, eat again. Yyyuppp.. Too bad, they don't served the kebab anymore. Only beriani, ayam masak merah and those normal dishes.. But with some cute cupcakes.

Whatever it is, the only thing that got me all excited during any family feasts would be, meeting up with my cousins and aunts and uncles.
My Mak Uteh, and Pak Uteh from Aussie was there too.. Funny, they kept on asking me bout when will I get married and all, can't wait til' the day comes, bla bla. I was like, eyewwww... It's so soon for me to be talking bout it lah! Adoi. If they only asked my sis, then it's okay. But me?? Sigh... Lambat lagi la. Isk.
Is it so obvious that I'm getting older? Is that a bad sign? Gahahhahaha...

I was hoping so much to meet baby Adam- Adam Syah- my cousin. But too bad, Uncle Zai came alone since he just came back from work and too tired to go back and forth to fetch his son and mrs kot. Grr.. Me, Mama and my sis were so disappointed! We misses Adam Jr. so much. Sigh. There'll be next time I guess.

Oh btw, here are some of the photos I took.


My dad. He was immitating a rock singer or an exaggerating singer or sumn. Lol

Family conference.... NOT!

My ehm, stressful looking Uncle Zai. =)

Kak Ita a.k.a Amoi. Lol

Kak Sharina & Abang Esham

My Sis, our cousin, Iffah and moi.

Abang Shahrom

Saturday, November 22, 2008


I read a post in Sis Nina's blog and got reminded of my past.
8 years ago, when I started to become almost an addict to MiRC chatroom.
I think the 1st channel where got me started was #MHS. Malacca High School's...
And then, I can't remember how, but I got into #emcee, my ever, fav channel during those days..
Zaman gi cyber cafes lagi tuh...
Those ppl that I still sorta keep in touch with from that channel would be bizkoot-Apai, Lyrical Queen- Sis Nina!, Naddy, Portishead-Matno, Aimie, Zenny, Azrul Monggeng, Emy, Saf, Aphesz, Zarin, Payette, Wawan(PSB Crew Apai! haha), Kenshin, Yanie, .. and ramai lagi kot ada kat my FS, MS and FB list.
But those were the days.
Hip hop days, rhyming days, and yes- cyber love days!

Banyakkk juge kenangan.
I remembered chatting with Apai when he was still in Japan.
And I remembered myself being oh so envy looking at his pics during winter time kot. And those sakura blooms. Sigh.

And, relationships..
I met some, and met in reality as well..
Maybe a couple of them.

And no, I'm not with any of them anymore.
Ada hikmah..
I met Adam.

But whatever it is, those days were quite fun!!!!


Tagged by Dyanayo! =)
1. The age you'll be on your next birthday: 21
2. Place you want to travel to: Mecca, Istanbul, LA, Miami, Milan, Italy, Japan, Washington DC, India, Dubai- and other nice places.

3. Your favorite place: Anywhere as long as I got my loved ones together with me.
4. Your favorite food: Mostly everything cheesy. Heh.
5. Your favorite pet: Ehm. None.
6. Favorite color combination: Fuschia, Turqoise, White and Black.
7. Favorite piece of clothing: Long shirts or Tees.(below my butt length) Lol

8. Your all time favorite song: P.Diddy's I'll Be Missing You
9. Favorite TV show: Almost everything aired on E!,(high 5 checheng!), Ugly Betty, Fashion House, Miami Ink, Entourage, Heroes, American Chopper, Desperate Housewives, The Nanny, Cave Of The Golden Rose(long time ago) , etc.
10. First name of your significant other/crush: Mohamad.

11. Which town do you live in: Melaka Town
12. Your screen name/nickname: Vee, Sabrina Vee Zalani, Sab, Ah Vee
13. Your first job: Chanel's part timer in Dimensi KLIA.
14. Your dream job: Can't find the right word for the position. But respected, well known, and blessed.
15. One bad habit that you have: Hm. I've been sniffing my late BF's t-shirt to sleep for almost 7years now. The one who passed away years ago. Heh.
16. Worst fear: IDK.
17: Things you'd like to do before you die: Reach for my dreams and. Repent.

18. The 1st thing you'll buy if you get $1,000,000: A house.
19. Your husband/wife: Make it FUTURE. =) is one that I wish to stick with, thru thick or thin- for eternity.

People I'm Tagging:Apai, Sish Nina, Nissie, Fiona, Mira, Pen Hilang, Sis Lizz.

Friday, November 21, 2008


Wanna be my play date?
My colorful currypuffs made from Play Doh.
Mom got me a few bottles of Play Doh coz I might be using it for my Animation subject.

But I made puffs!

The smell of this thing really reminds me of my childhood days!

Funny Mummy

I just arrived home from having my lunch with my baby..
And something funny happened to me.
I dont know, I find it hillarious..
While I was on my way home, I texted my mom, asked her to make me a glass of syrup...
This is the message I sent her..
"Ma, buat kan syrup.. Extra ice please. Panas."
You know what she replied?????

"Mana ada ice panas???"

I was like, OMG!!!!!!

And I replied back, "Cuaca panas maaaa.... Adoiiii.."

When I reached home, she blamed me saying I was the one who's being 'mangkuk ayun'..
Ape je mak aku..


Thats all for now. Laters.

Live To Eat?

Yesterday was some kinda like my own Eating Day.
Oh wait, not yesterday, this couple of days.
Mom's here..
I took her out and we had our lunch at Zen, along with my sis.
And I had my favourite, ever dessert, creme brulee..
Last time I had it was a blast one either, at Royal Scotts On Plaza Hotel's Carousel Singapore.
They were served in a very cute, small plates.

But at Zen, they served it in a glass... And one glass was enough to make my stomach full.

Just look at that creamy thingy..Ain't it like soo inviting kan. I had it with a bottle of Appletizer. Ngam!!!

And the day before, I had a nice bowl of Bihun Tom Yam and a glass of Grape Smoothies, at Le Garden. One of my fav makan spots in my hometown. Heh. So stop wondering where I got these 'extra baggage' from. Lol.

Oh I can't believe I've been with my baby for 1 year, 8 months and 1 day already! Yey. May Allah bless us with better days ahead-together still. I love you Adam. Amin, Ya Rabbal'Alamin.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

It's Raining Man!!!

The rain never did stopped since morning.
Heavily, drizzles, heavy again, and drizzling again.
Can't even see the windscreen when I was driving just now.
How dangerous!
I speed.
I'm a speed demon, eventho I'm just driving a CLK.
Ehm, I mean, my cute lil Kancil.
But I speed as fast as a Kancil can.
How dangerous(again!)
The road was all slippery and she's speeding!
What a psycho!
But it felt so great!
There wasn't so many cars on the road.
It was so clear, and inviting.
I remembered once when I was reading some cars magazines, I said to my mom..
"Mama, one day, I'm gonna get myself a go-kart license. And then I want to learn car racing. And I wanna race. Whaddya think?"
Mom said, "I'm okay, just don't get a broken neck.."
My mom's the coolest!

After I had to study something that I dont really have interest in; Graphics, I kinda got a lil lost when talking or wondering on my future undertakings. Bahahhahahaha..
So I started thinking and talking craps.
But there were a lil bit of serious-ness when I said about wanting to be a car racer. Hee.

Today's my 1 Year and 8 Months Anniversary with my Mr Love. Teehee.
I love him more and more each day.
Tibe tibeeeeeeeeeeee

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


...saya jatuh cinta lagi.
dengan seorang lelaki.
(saya straight)
Gambar di bawah saya rasakan teramat comel.
Itu ialah lelaki yang saya sayang sangat bersama minnie mouse yang besar.

Tak ada topik sebenarnya.
Tapi saya sayang dia. Bye


I miss all of you.
Pray for me and I'll be back as soon as I can!

Batch 2005

Eventhough I been calling my college a hell before, honestly, there are some things that got me missing.

I been in that college since July 2005.
And during that time, the seniors and juniors got along verrrryyy fine!
When there were no classes, or we're working on our drawings/assgs, we all will be gathering at the Graphics Studio.
We even got a mat rolled on the floor.
Some of them played guitars, computer games, and me and my girls will mess around with people.
We had fun almost everyday, even while working on our works.
We laughed out oh-so loud and often got lecturers from the class next to the studio came in and told us to keep it low.
There used to be a TV in the studio, someone brought his PS2, and everyone sat on the floor and played games, just like being at home!!
We never did mind when other people came to joined us.
Coz everytime, we clicked, and add up more friends.

Last time, we have intercourse sports day.
I dont know what happened, but it's not been held for maybe a couple of years already.
Me and my 3 girls- Bee,Anim and Acu will be going here and there in the college and talked to almost everyone we saw!
That is why, we clicked very fine with the seniors.

When other people can't used the internet connection in the library, our ex-librarian friend will make US and only US can use the internet connection.
Whoa, privillege is gooood.

At some nights, me and the girls, a bunch of 6 seniors will be going out to Jonker Street- sometimes for photoshoots.

I guess, one of the reasons that we could clicked easily is because of their ages. Most of them were 21 and above of ages. And there was no such thing as misunderstood and all.
We helped each other.
We co-operated.

Those were the times where college felt like a second home.
And we'll still be going there even when there was no class.
There was always unplanned agendas, which was good.
We came, we crashed, and we MOVE IT MOVE IT!
Lol. Craps.

But now.
All I can say is, it's all gone.
New people, new faces, with new hearts that I can't tell.

College seems to be a boring place, just like how it looked like.
It's not the same when you have great people around, no matter how the college looks, it's still fun being there.
So it takes both the college and the people to make it looked better.

Since there's a huuuuge possibility that I might finished my studies in January, I now only visit college when there's a class, or I need to submit my assgs and examination days.
Or else, I'll be out and about or just stay at home doing my final project work.

I'm okay with it coz I used to tell myself that everything's gonna be fine.
Just keep struggling and you may get what u dream of.
Get out of that place.

The 10th

1. I love it when you smile showing those lines of nice teeth u have :)
2. I love the way u giggled when I tickled you
3. I love how u brushed my hair with ur fingers
4. I love it when u sulked. oh so cute
5. I love the way u said I LOVE YOU
6. I love it when you raised your eyebrows whenever i took pictures of u
7. I love it when u always wanna share your food with me
8. I love it when u said what's yours and mine are ours
9. I love it when u make silly faces.
10. Most of all, I love you for making me love you like crazy. And makes me asking for more of u.

10 things I love about Adam.

Yours Truly,

Bisa buktikan.

I hate this.
I had a short nap in the evening and now yes, I can't sleep.

I used to say how much I enjoyed lonely nights on my bed, in my bedroom.
But right at this sec, I don't feel even close to that.

Many things are running through my mind.
Many like many.
Many like alot.
Many like so fuccin much.
Many like it's damn too much!

Everything seems to be complicated and still I do not know how the hell am I to deal with them.
All damn issues created just for a single naive soul like me.

You wanted me to be stronger ey?
I will.


The best birthday present, EVER.

Buckets, and buckets filled with tears.
Thank you.

I appreciate them

not so tragic. *smiles*

wanna run away.
far far away.

everything's not right.
everything's so out of shape.
everything's so painful.
everything's just too hard to swallow.

someone's leading a more terrifying life than mine.
i should be thankful.
i should stand up still and never run away from this mess.
i shall go thru all with a smile.
i shall force myself to smile.

thank you, hard times.
for still serving me.
for still being so eager to make me stronger year by year, day by day.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

entah lah entah

Hari yang....
Agak kesempitan otak untuk berfikir.

Welcome to my dramatic life.

I hope history won't come back.
I admit, those shits that ever happened to us years ago are still haunting me days and nights.
I could feel it coming back.
I could smell it in the air.
And again, I'm stucked in the middle.
From two of the most important people in my life.

Why is it happening again.
Why can't they just put a fuccin stop to what they're doing.
I'm so pissed off tonight, and I'm sorry with my offensive words.
But hell, who cares!
Who fuccin cares!
The DRAMA is coming back!
And this time, I am no more that dumb 10 years old kid!
I'm a fuccin 21 years old lady!
And the fact is still, I don't know how to deal with it, and I should have known!
Coz I'm older, I am 11 years older than before!
I could do something.
But what.
If I do this, it will harm the one person.
If I do that, it may harm the other one.
What the hell am I supposed to do!
God I am so sick and tired of being in the middle to such a difficult situation like this when I have to choose who I have to defend!

Stop hurting her!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop fuccin lie to her!!!
Stop fuccin treat her like an idiot!!!!
After 23 fuccin years and you never changed!!!!!
Why do you like to hurt us so much?!!!!
What have we done wrong to you throughout this years that we deserved to get all this bullshits from you!!

God, I am so sorry if I was rude.
But I can't stand it anymore.
Please do something... Please at least give me some strength to go thru it all like an adult!
And please make him realise that I'm no more 10 years old.

What will happen next?
How many tears will drip and soak my pillow?!
I'm sick of all this.
I am so FUCKING SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!


They called her life a Drama.
When she don't think they know what Drama really means.

A prose or verse composition, especially one telling a serious story, that is intended for representation by actors impersonating the characters and performing the dialogue and action.
A serious narrative work or program for television, radio, or the cinema.
Theatrical plays of a particular kind or period: Elizabethan drama.

Now that is the definition of Drama.
Actors, tv, cinema, plays<-- acting="" span="" unreal="">

So you can't simply labeled her life as DRAMATIC if you didn't actually know a THING. Or even if you think that she made all those stories up just to beg for sympathies.

If someone who starting to lose faith, with a SO-CALLED dramatic life can't have friends who she can talk to, maybe she could have commited suicide. The reason she's willing to tell you is because of TRUST.
But unfortunately, you turned out to be judging my life as DRAMATIC? The next time you wanna judge, you might as well meet my parents and ask them if my stories are true or not. Because them, they have been living with me for 21 fucking years! And they have been right along with me dealing with all those fuccin DRAMAS! So don't you fuccin simply call me with fuccin names and fuccin label my life when you don't fuccin know me!
Yes I might be a problem child, but it's YOU that I have fuccin sympathy for!

Yes you don't quite know LIFE very well enough.
Then HUSH.

I'm not picking fights. Especially not on the net. That is so retro. But just giving a piece of my mind.

Get a fuccin life.
I don't call you names. So tell me one good reason why you do that to me.
And one fuccin reason why you have to intrude my personal issue.
Did I steal your bf or some'n?
Come clean if you think you're big enough.

Come What May

Yes I do enjoy lonely nights.
Being alone, with the chilling air in my room.
Alone on my bed, surrounded with all kinds of thoughts.

Sometimes, I ransacked my closets in search of my diaries.
I've got plenty of them.
Including the one that I'm currently writing, I think I have like 8 diaries.
Written since year 2002.
I've got a number of them before that year, but those were the ones that I had when I was a kid. So they were all gone I guess.
Doesn't even matter, coz they only contained BS.
So back to the ish.
I searched for my old diaries, and read them.
Eventhough there were some sad and tearful issue, it made me smile.
Some schooldays memories.
Kids' issues, cute boys, getting scolded by dad, felt alienated, putting pranks on classmates.
I'm glad I have diaries.
At least they reminded me of some memories that might have slipped my mind.

So after reading them all again and again..
I get to know my own self better.
From what I been thru.
How I managed to stand up still.
I just know that something better are coming up my way.
All I gotta do is pull myself so far away from the Giving Up Syndrome.

And too bad, my current diary must be missing me so badly.
I dont know, maybe I've been to busy to visit it.
The last last pages would be written with an itro like this; "Diary~ I'm sorry for not visiting you for so long! I've been so busy. I'm sure u been missing me.. I hope you understand my situation... " And bla bla.

Main issue; I gotta change. I HAVE TO change! I'm not getting any younger. Neither is any of you. Hehe. People change. Things change.

Oh sabrina. Please cut the crap.

Monday, November 17, 2008


The cruellest issue of backstabbing that ever happened to me would be 4 years ago.
I've always been stabbed by people whom I had never harm before.
But rage?
Revenge is never a healthy thing to do.
Pay backs won't do any good but make things way even worst.

She, the person who stabbed me, drag along my parents.
And because of her, I lost my parent's trusts.
I lost my bestfriends.
It has been the most bitter moment for a teenage girl's life for me.

But now, SHE is on my top friend's list in my My Space profile.

Forgiving is easy.
Forgetting is super hard.
Revenging? No No.

What past is past ey..


Well chin up!
Look at the bright side.
I still have my bestfriends that I lost during that 'incident'.

Look forrrrrwarddd...


Sunday, November 16, 2008

Sunday Treat

Eskrem chalong! <- Tak tahu plak if ada nama lain..
It's been sooo longgg since I last had one!

Saje je.

Little Miss Morning II

It's 10am already.
I got up at 7 and got ready for the paper.

I'm having sorta weird feeling.
I am happy, finally I get this feeling.
The first ever time that I am satisfied with my Maths paper.

I managed to answer almost all the questions.
Thanks to my handsome Mr Tutor. =)
The paper started at 8.15am and finished at 9.30am.
And I finished at 9.28am.
Je suis stupéfié avec moi.

Well I guess I need to get back to my sleep, yeyy!

Oh yah, since the mid term exam is over.
Now I have to get myself verrrryy busy with my final project tasks!
I hate mock ups!
Butchyeah, I do want to graduate!


Ain't no GANGSTAH enuf.

Now this really cracked me out.
I am a girl, who's not very good at Maths.
And tomorrow,morning, yes, again, 8am- I'll be having my Business Maths paper.
The last one for my mid term examination.
So since I started to changed into sorta new leaf nowadays, which is- a lil more rajin than before. Heh.
I've asked my bf to come over my place and tutor me.
So he did.

There was one time, when he was teaching me, I cried.
Like, cried la!
Tears flowing down my cheeks!
Cry me a river. Nanges. Psssh.
I felt like the dumbest person on planet earth!!!
Eventhough he taught me with so much patience, I felt so touched at the same time, and blame myself for being so stupid!

And, it happened again!
Just a few hours ago.
He was tutoring me, I looked down on those question papers, and tears started dripping on them papers.
He was like, "whyyyyy..."
I just kept quiet, with those salty drippings still coming out of my eyes.
And then he started to say, with such calmly voice.. "There were no single person who was borned smart. Even Einstein. People even accused him of being insane. But truth is, he's smart. At least you wanna learn. You can't keep crying. Einstein is strong. And you can have that kind of strentgh if you want to.."


Luck, please gather around me tomorrow. I need you.

Insyaallah.. I can do it. Insyaallah.

Blahnik Babies

Oh Manolo....
Can you get these pair of babies delivered to my place on my birthday?
With a card on it saying; "Happy 21st Birthday Sabrina. You deserves these.".


Saturday, November 15, 2008

Little Miss Morning

Oh thank you, Mid Term Examination.
For making me got up so early in the morning and felt like schooldays again.
It's been so long since I last slept early and woke up early.
And today I got up at 7am, and freezed and shivered in the bathroom eventhough I got my hot shower on max! Amazing.
Those goosebumps on my skin freaked me out a lil.
I hated to be reminded of my school days, like seriously.

So I'm done with the first paper- Animation Technique.
It was, okay okay lah.
Since most of the questions were quite easy- ehm- I mean, I did had my last minute revision last night!

But one section were left empty, because I was so dumb enough to forgot the answers.
Thank you.

There was this section where we were asked to draw facial expressions of a kid-excited, nervous, sad, shy and angry.
And believe it or not, while I was drawing each single expression, I accidentally got those expressions on my own face!
I smiled, I sorta frowned for the angry face, and saddened my face and all.
Man, did anyone saw me doing that??
If they do, I bet they might be laughing and giggling in their hearts and think of me as a silly girl.

I'll be having my second, last paper tomorrow.
And oh a very big thank you again, another morning-waking up issue! Like so PFFfft!!
8am, 8am, 8am!!
Make it 11 lah!

So after the paper, I drove along Jonker Street as it's just situated somewhere so close to my college.. And lotsa, lotsa Chinese people were walking along the street, chit chatting, driving here and there, and I was like, Oh, what a so-very-the Morning Spirit. How come I didn't have that kinda spirit? My mom's a Chinese what?! (Alamak, gua anak angkat ke?)

Tonight, Imma sleep early!
Imma do my last revision earlier, sleep early, and wake up with a big smile on my face tomorrow!

How cruel can that sucky college be.


9 effin yrs and we're still going strong

Just a couple of pics during my so-called re-union with my 9years of friendship besties. Some of them were missing tho. Heh.. Thank you Borneo Rainforest, for witnessing us laughing the hell out together.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Killed Dreams

How time flies..

I'm now almost as close to finishing my studies at the-again, hell-wannabe college. Heh.
I know I've said it so often that everybody already knew how sucky my college is.

Come to think of it, I wasn't supposed to be in that college.
I wasn't supposed to learn anything Graphics!
It wasn't even in my Wannabe's List.

When I finished school 4 years ago, I was so eager to study fashion designing.
I sketched clothes when I was in classes, I got scold by teachers who found sketches on my desk, in my Art Subject's sketchbooks. It was almost filled with images of clothes, and shoes and all.

While I was waiting for offer letters from colleges, I received one from Shahputra Kuantan.
Offering me fashion designing course.
How I felt?
Oh I can't even describe it in words.
But too badd...
Tooo effin badddd...
Dad.won't let me go.
He insisted to let me study anywhere as long as in Melaka.
I was like, oh I don't know.
I felt crushed.
Fashion designing WAS my dream.

I killed my dreams, for my father.

Oh btw, I came across a blog who's owned by such an amazing lady named Nisa Mazbar. =)
I am truly honoured when she herself, did dropped by my blog and even post a message in my shoutbox.
I am so damn in love with what she's doing.
I checked out her posts.
She's now in France. She has Bachelor in Fashion Designing.
She speaks French.
She worked with Miss J!
Not just that, she also once worked with Ellie Saab.
Now how can I not be so jealous of her.
And from now on, I'm sure I'm so gonna check out her blog more often as I love the feeling of being in the story. Y'know like, when you read a story, when you started to imagine yourself being in it. Hahaha..

Moral of the story: Mungkin bukan rezeki saya untuk jadi seperti Cik Nisa Mazbar. =)
To Nisa, you rocks my socks! Lol.

Pentipu lagi

I was at Melaka Central's parking a few hours ago, waiting for my sister..
And then a Chinese boy came knocking on my car window..
I knew straight away he must be those salesman and all..
Actually my window was winded down a lil..
And he started to asked me about a Christmas promotion at Carrefour and bla bla.
At first I just said NO, but then he said it's free.
He gave me like a piece of pamphlet, and told me to opened it.
There was a picture of a ribbon in it, with an empty rounded circle shape.
And he was the one who was so surprised, and excited.
He showed me the other pamphlets that were opened by other 'victims', they've got a
Thank You note written in the rounded thingy.
So I guess mine's a special case.
And he said I've got a positive chance to win at LEAST Rm12,ooo worth a prize.
He even showed me yesterday's newspaper's article of some people winning cars from Utusan Malaysia.
He told me to recite Bismillahirrahmanirrahim before I go get my prize. Yah he even brought another Chinese friend named Adam Daniel bla bla, who just converted as a Muslim. And he started to tell me about rezeki and all..
He asked me to go their office in Melaka Raya to redeem my prize..
I just said OKAY.
Despite of myself being a lil, ehm.. Maybe extremely naive, something hold me back, still.
I called my mom, and she strictly refused to let me go to the so-called office.
She said it might be a trap and bla bla.

But you know, JUST IN CASE, those things are true, I might get a new car~
Too bad, there are too many scams nowadays!

Nothing comes for free!

Sexy Tag.

... sexy tag.... (I was tagged by Apai. hee)

1 - Tangkap @ sertakan 3 keping gambar anda yang anda rasakan paling Sexyyyy..
2 - Tak semestinya tak berpakaian atau mendedahkan..mungkin anda rasa senyuman anda masa itu adalah sexy..sertakan!!!
3 - Nyatakan kenapa gambar itu begitu sexy di mata anda?
4 - Tag 5 rakan-rakan anda yang sexy..
5 - Selamat bersexy!! ..."

Pic 1- Well err.. Thic pic above. I think that was quite a sexy pout.. *whistles*

Pic 2 - Lol. Sexy back kot! Haha.. Apai, v pun ada! Leceh la tag ni. Tak pasal2 kena puji diri sendiri.. Bhahahahaa

Pic 3 - Sexy fake eyes. Bahahahha.. Dah dah dah.. Udah2 la naik lif tekan sendiri.. Hee..

I'm tagging: Nissie, Checheng, Kerilayot, Pen Hilang, Sis Lizz. Sekian, Gracias. Hee

Gone By The Wind

Lately, I think I breath alot.
I mean, more than normal, or usual.

Pilates also require alot of breathing.
We have to inhale and exhale as calm as we can.

Once, when I tried one kind of a meditation, I was told to breathe....
Inhale, and exhale slowly...
While inhaling, I followed what's been told- gather all those mess in my head..
And when exhale, it's like I'm exhaling all those mess altogether.

But that won't stay for long.
Just a moment of peace.
And then comes reality.
I still have to face it. Face life.
But whatever it is, meditation also helped me when I couldn't get my sleep..
Especially ones with Kitaro's flute playing as the background music.
Now that is what I called- peaceful and soothing.

How I wish I could exhale out all this mess in my head permanently!

2009 so-called resolutions

No no, I hope it won't stay long as a so-called issue.

Okay back to the subject.

One- Graduate from the hell-wannabe college.
Two- Get skinnier- psssh. i'm a girl who wanna be pretty. What's the big deal?
Three- Work? Or maybe, continue my studies. Maybe in a slightly different stream. Heh.
Four- Change for the better- on quite a number of issues.
Five- Get a clue on life. Or more clues.

Pssh. See I've started to talk craps.
So that's all for now people.

Thursday, November 13, 2008


I put on weight.
Nak marah pun tak guna.
Coz I was the one yang sangat taksub dengan aktiviti melantak lately.

Today: I had a few bites of my boyfriend's big mac, a few sticks of french fries, 2 oranges, 3 vege puffs(i'm sure the pastries gon add up more fats in my body), muruku's and... oh I think that's all kot.
I'm trying to have a lil bit of everything that I can eat in a day.
Thot it might worked out, y'know, I need energy, so I have to eat. And I drank lots of plain water.
And I think those oranges might do something good for my digestion system- I think.

Oh and plus, let me share with you readers a lil secret.
Pilates works!
In fact, I don't go to any pilates or yoga class or whatsoever.
I surfed the net for pilates routines and all, downloaded some videos, and try them.
I've tried some of the routines since like maybe 2months ago.

In fact, I only picked one of pilates many steps, as my everyday/night routine.
The one that involves abdomen, and belly.
Just one day of doing it, the next day gave me stomach ache, and I started to-ehm. Buang buang air. Lol.
And bukan la nak jadik pengotoq ke apa, you know, ada jenis buang air yang mengeluarkan lemak and all..
That was what happened to me.
And in just a few days doing the routine, I found my belly a lil tighter. Psssshhh..

Ok ok.
Back to the story, I put on weight!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I need to lose a few kg's a.s.a.p!


Procrastination is the thief of time- and they say.

Tee hee..
So I may say, people like me will better be known as a procrastinator???

One of my bad habits, that I haven't even tried to change yet.
Later might means forever when it comes to me.

*whistles while waving goodbye*

Belum Selesai

1. report/proposal
2. sketches
3. logo
4. letterhead - mock up
5. envelope - mock up
6. call card - mock up
7. print ad - a) teaser b) launch
8. storyboard (for 30seconds ad)
9. poster - a)product b) information
10. web - 4 frames
11. newsletter - a)frontpage b)cover
12. items:
a. brochure/flyer/pamphlet- mock up
b. flag line/ hanging mobile- mock up
c. postcard- mock up
d. transport- mock up.
e. uniform.
f. bunting- mock up
g. billboard
h. building
i. 2 souvenirs - mock up
j. packaging- mock up

*senyum tak ihlas*
Hangpa ingat sonang nak siapkan semua ni sampai December?
Aku rasa nak pitam dah.
Terima kasih ku ucapkan kepada final project.

Dah tak samaaa...

Di waktu dulu, manusia lebih bebas
Bebas untuk memiliki waktu bersendirian.
Ada tebing sungai untuk bersendirian
Buat mencari ilham mengarang sajak dan puisi.
Ada jeti sampan buat mengarang lagu.
Yang kedengaran hanya desiran ombak laut, dan hembusan damai angin.

Kini zaman sudah berubah.
Berubah sama sekali.
Amaran untuk tidak bersendirian adalah biasa.
Kerana manusia semakin jahil.
Hati semakin hitam.
Penjenayah ada di merata tempat.

Tebing sungai, jeti sampan sudah tidak selamat lagi.
Hati yang bersih semakin mudah pudar.
Nafsu menjadi dalang.

Waktu bersendirian bukan lagi hak mutlak kita..
Manusia semakin resah gelisah..
Tiada tempat yang tenang lagi damai..
Akhirnya terus ditemani rasa takut..
Bertambah pula dengan hati yang berkecamuk..

Separa Psycho

Terima kasih sekali lagi ku ucapkan..
Buat hakikat hidup..
Yang memaksa aku untuk terus redha dengan apa sahaja yang berlaku.

Tiap malam sebelum tidur..
Aku sama ada bisa terlena setelah asyik berfikir..
Atau aku tidak mampu lena kerana asyik berfikir..

Beberapa malam ditemani mimpi kejam..
Aku terjaga dengan bersoal..
Betulkah ia hanya sebuah mimpi?
Akan kah mimpi itu menjadi nyata?
Adakah apa yang aku mimpikan itu sedang terjadi?

Mungkin minda ku sudah banyak bekerja..
Semua cerita sudah bercampur aduk..

Aku cuma harap mimpi malam tadi hanya mainan tidur.